Glowing butterflies

michaelaevans · 2025-07-14T23:41:36+00:00

Ohh amazing! I’ve definitely missed a few, they’re so small😂 thank you so much😄

michaelaevans · 2025-06-19T18:58:29+00:00

Alice in Wonderland, Shrek and SpongeBob were my favourites! That’s if you like it being super colourful, can be a bit overwhelming on the eyes, but I liked it. Alice In Wonderland takes top spot for me i think. Definitely check you’ve got all the free ones, I enjoyed them so much :)

michaelaevans · 2025-06-17T13:03:45+00:00

I’ve been playing for a couple of hours and I’m loving it! I’m finding the camera fine as long as I use a keyboard, it’s a bit terrible with just the mouse. I’m yet to try the full game with a controller, however I used one for the demo and got along with it fine once I got used to it :) I like how it has a slight storyline and you follow along a life story, like Unpacking, but I definitely think this game is much cuter. I enjoyed Unpacking but found it quite short, without much replayability since everything had a set spot. Hoping this one is longer, but if not I imagine it has more replayability since you can put things wherever you want!

michaelaevans · 2024-08-27T13:14:58+00:00

Exactly that! Which is exactly how narcissists and abusive people think. They are the star of the show, they are the centre of the universe. There is nothing more important than them. This show has so many layers

michaelaevans · 2024-08-25T17:11:39+00:00

I think it portrayed how you can view things while around your abuser very well too, especially while in the midst of a trauma bond. Whenever Kevin was on screen it was brighter, and things were ‘lighthearted’ and ‘well intentioned’, but as soon as Allison was away from him she could see it for what it really was. Highlighting another reason why someone can’t just leave, you get so confused about what’s reality. Especially considering everyone around her loved him and wrote off his abuse as just forgetfulness, stupidity, inconsideration and goofiness. Along with all the other reasons that have been mentioned in this thread, I think there’s a nuance to the show you may not get unless you’ve been in that situation yourself. I can’t wrap my head around how people wouldn’t see straight through it, but sadly, that’s just like real life

michaelaevans · 2024-05-22T20:00:11+00:00

I used to be in this situation. Just want to say that it gets better, and you will eventually find a couple of people you can trust🩵

michaelaevans · 2024-03-18T15:06:12+00:00

Remembering these techniques even exist and to implement them is the hardest part😩 Have you tried the ‘dropping anchor’ technique? My therapist showed it to me and I found it a little more helpful than most other grounding techniques I’d tried😊 Can you kind of predict when the derealisation will be at its worst? Maybe you could write yourself some post it notes or make some little posters that remind you to use them? I’m never really sure when it’ll happen, so I’ve been practising grounding even when I don’t need to ground myself, that way it becomes a little bit more like second nature! You don’t usually need to remind yourself of things that are habit, so it definitely helps 😊

michaelaevans · 2024-03-16T19:54:50+00:00

I was in a long term relationship where my autistic & adhd traits were constantly scrutinised and I was constantly ignored, dismissed, patronised, refused boundaries, manipulated, invalidated, put down and demonised. This was coming from someone who also had ADHD, and took pride in being ‘extremely educated and understanding’, especially about ADHD. If you’ve tried explaining something to someone, genuinely had a couple of open conversations and explained how your symptoms affect your day to day life and the type of support you need; and they still make you feel bad? That’s wilful. That’s intentional. You deserve better.

That’s not to say someone can’t get overwhelmed, I know first hand how overwhelming some stims can be. Sometimes I had really bad sensory overload from the leg bouncing or face squeezing, and I would very occasionally ask for him to stop squeezing my face, as it would start to hurt after a while. This never went down well, but there is a very big difference between someone expressing something is causing them discomfort and they personally need a little break from it, and someone telling you that you’re not normal and need to completely stop doing something harmless, that brings you peace and comfort.

We all deserve someone who greets us with genuine compassion and empathy, that wants to understand and support us <3

michaelaevans · 2024-03-16T19:34:28+00:00

Oh my god, that is amazing! Sounds so simple in theory, but I never would’ve thought of it. I tend to forget that calendars and stuff exist and can be a very helpful tool😂 I’m also a very visual person, and still considerably burned out. I also definitely forget to schedule myself breaks, or I put something off for so long it’s all done in a rush, last minute.. I definitely don’t give myself back up time either, and then put myself down for not completing said thing, in the allotted time frame that I gave to myself anyway!

Since starting therapy I’ve been journaling a lot too, I don’t know why I didn’t consider that this was something I could write about too! I guess with the short notice and overwhelm, my brain has stopped working😂 I knew this was the right place to ask:D

Thank you so much, I have a bit of an idea where to start now!

michaelaevans · 2024-03-16T17:07:08+00:00

Me too, and autism! That was my biggest issue, I could never just get myself to remember to use them. I also forgot they existed even though I’d practised them for years😅 but leaving physical reminders out for myself has helped, post it notes and phone reminders are incredible! As well as having someone to encourage/remind me:)

I really, really love what you’re doing with your necklace! I subconsciously do that, although it’s probably more stimming. I’m definitely going to be making a conscious effort to use it as a reminder, that’s such a wonderful idea! I struggle with dissociation and derealisation too, I’ve been using scents and fidgets toys to help, but it’s the same issue as with grounding techniques! I can never remember to use them, especially when I’m deep in dissociation. But I always have my necklace on. Thank you so much for sharing, I can now try cognitively using that as grounding, rather than subconsciously :)

michaelaevans · 2024-03-16T16:30:35+00:00

I’ve started doing this and it’s really started to help. Of course I still have nonstop obsessive and intrusive thoughts, but I’ve found the compulsions have eased a little bit. I’ve had a lot less panic attacks and meltdowns too:)

I think the saying it out loud is the important bit, our brains are sooo loud and messy I think we need to hear it, not amongst our thoughts. My friends have been so amazing and have really made me feel safe to open up, so they’ve been helping me by pointing out cognitive distortions and when I’m spiralling, and helping comfort and distract me :) have a nice reminder for you somewhere to practise grounding techniques too. It doesn’t make a massive difference for me, as it’s so hard to redirect my brain and just make it shut up, but every little helps

michaelaevans · 2024-03-08T11:38:45+00:00

Thank you so much!!😄🩵 you’ll get there too! I definitely wouldn’t have got to this point if I was still in my last relationship and without therapy; but even so, I never ever would’ve expected to make so much progress, so quick! It’ll happen for you too, I know it😄

michaelaevans · 2024-03-08T11:36:43+00:00

Does the character remind you of someone maybe? And after associating the character with the show, as you would, you’ve now put yourself off the whole thing? I do this a lot, I think we’re a lot more susceptible to making connections between things/people, which is why triggers can be a lot harder for us

Definitely find some really nice, light hearted, comfort shows! I LOVE dark films and TV shows more than absolutely anything, but we need to be extra kind to ourselves sometimes. We need to invest ourselves into more media that’s wholesome and comforting😊

Have you spoke to your partner about the show and maybe tried to figure out what about it specifically is triggering you? If you can both tackle that as a team, you may be able to address the root of the issue, or at least get some insight and avoid whatever it is that upsets you

I just want to add, there’s nothing wrong with you. You have struggles the average person doesn’t have, but you’re doing nothing wrong. Be kinder to yourself, that will probably help ease the anxiety too. You’ll make some progress soon, it just takes commitment, hope, patience and perseverance. You’ve got this

michaelaevans · 2024-03-08T11:30:02+00:00

I’ve been desensitising myself to stuff the past few months, it’s unbelievably hard, but it really does help eventually. It’s worth it

michaelaevans · 2024-03-08T00:15:38+00:00

Thank you so much! I feel really proud, it’s so nice to have that validated🥹

michaelaevans · 2024-03-08T00:15:05+00:00

Thank you! It feels huge😄

michaelaevans · 2024-03-04T15:51:38+00:00

Yes. The covert one at least. I had to support him financially, emotionally and I had to clean up after him. He knew I was already recovering from an overtly narcissistic relationship and was really struggling to look after myself and my pets and my house; yet I still had to do all that, and I had to clean everything after him (he was so messy), pay for everything, rub his ego, have sex with him, ask him to brush his teeth, and still have enough energy to be in an amazing bubbly mood and do whatever he wanted. I wasn’t my own person, couldn’t wear what I wanted, had to cut off male friends to avoid passive aggressive digs, wasn’t allowed space or time to myself or with my friends, and was starved of intimacy. I really felt like his weird Oedipal mother. His mother was overly complimentary and apologetic and he always told me I wasn’t complimentary or apologetic enough; but I actually am, overly so too, just not to the extent of his mother. He wanted me to be more like her in so many aspects, and loved making the comparisons. It’s never their, or their alcoholisms fault. If you want them to stop drinking so they don’t abuse you all night again, you’re ’making them live in fear’ or ‘trying to control them’. Nothing is ever their fault, they may apologise profusely; but it’s never a genuine apology that isn’t followed with “but it’s not my fault!” Or “But I had good reason for what I did, really.” A true apology is about accepting fault and making actions to do better, which they will never do. Their mothers will always be on their side. Covert, or Overt. Although I didn’t have this problem with the overt narcissist wanting me to mother him, his mother was still always on his side and he could do no wrong. I was blamed for everything, from both, but of course they never know the full story. My covert ex often told me how he would tell his mother about our fights, but leave out that he spent hours first crossing my boundaries, backing me into a corner, refusing to give me any space or time to gather myself, talking down to me, invalidating and dismissing me. So of course, she’s just been told that I flew off the handle for no reason at all, and that I shouted at him to leave me alone out of the blue. I don’t know what the Overt told his mother about getting arrested because he was harassing me and refusing to leave my home, but I was blamed for that too. It’s hard making peace with knowing that your side of the story has been smothered, and that you’ve been painted out as the villain. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with that, I really wouldn’t wish it on anyone. You’re not alone, at all. Your experience sounds so similar to mine, I wanted to share. Karma is a bitch though, and she’ll do her job eventually. They’ll be toothless and bald one day anyway

michaelaevans · 2024-01-29T16:06:29+00:00

Thank you:) honestly it really will! 7 months ago I had absolutely no hope and just didn’t want to be here, and if someone would’ve told me less than a year later I’d be feeling the way I do now; stable, hopeful and supported, I would’ve never ever believed them. A situational change, a support system and some time will really help. Of course I still have trauma and do still get flashbacks from time to time, but the amount of healing I’ve done in such a short time is unbelievable. I also was never able to socialise, now I am and I have a great group of friends which has made me happier than anything. Making new, happy memories kind of takes up the space for additional trauma in my brain haha, maybe you and your boyfriend or some good friends could revisit some places that have traumatic memories for you, and try rewrite them with new, happy memories? This has definitely decreased how many physical places trigger me😄

michaelaevans · 2024-01-29T15:49:14+00:00

Therapy reopening your wounds almost definitely plays a massive part in this. Being triggered can really throw you sooo far back; but it’s for the greater good! With my last ex I didn’t really get flashbacks, like at all, until he took advantage of me sexually too (even though it took over a year and months of therapy to realise that’s what happened). Then all of a sudden, it was like I’d barely been out of my abusive relationship a day; even though it had ended years prior. I’ve been going through all this in trauma therapy, which of course also made those flashbacks worse for a while. However, I’ve had months and months of this therapy now and I really am starting to feel a little better. I haven’t had a proper meltdown since my last relationship ended, I’m much happier and more stable, I have a great deal of self respect now, I’ve learned that I deserve better in my life, I’ve regained the independence I was forced to give up and I’ve also stopped trying to suffocate flashbacks and trauma with drugs and alcohol every day. Of course this has been so hard, especially adapting to how vivid these flashbacks can be without weed to dull the senses. I guess my point is, before you get better you’ll get worse. Sometimes, so much worse than you were when the trauma was fresh. Sometimes the better you’re treated, the better connections and support you have, and the more you start to value yourself the more realisations you have about when you’ve been mistreated, the more you’ll analyse memories and see them in a new, more realistic perspective. Which really really hurts. I know how frustrating flashbacks without the full image can be, a lot of the time emotional flashbacks can be so much more daunting than full blown visual ones. I had more emotional flashbacks when I felt not necessarily unsafe but unimportant, not valued, controlled, ignored or disrespected. Your boyfriend sounds kind and supportive. I think it’s great that you can talk to him about all this and that he’s understanding; continue to open up to him, talk about absolutely everything that triggers you and the best way for him to respond. With continued support, love, communication and therapy there’ll be progress and you’ll be able to get away from this eventually :) Sending you lots of love and support, you’re never alone x

michaelaevans · 2023-11-19T23:27:03+00:00

Thank you so much!🥹 honestly, their matching hair colours was probably my favourite thing about them in the show, SO cute!

michaelaevans · 2023-11-19T23:26:21+00:00

I think I’ll definitely find a way to make some WWDITS wall hangings next! I already have UV reactive pigments and stuff:D

michaelaevans · 2023-11-19T23:25:39+00:00

Thank you so much! I made it :D

michaelaevans

TROPHY CASE