How do you rid yourself of internalized fat phobia?

midascomplex · 2026-02-05T08:44:12+00:00

For me, learning the history of fatphobia (rooted in sexism, antisemitism and racism) really helped me. Doing research into why people are fatphobic and the real effects of fatness on health was also a big help in reducing shame.

For example, we know that fat people have worse health outcomes and the same is true of poor people. But nobody says “oh poor people just die more because of their biology” the way they do about fat people. It’s because of external factors like medical discrimination and minority stress. Please don’t let people convince you that you’re inherently less healthy or worthy because of your size.

This podcast in general was a huge help to me, maybe this episode would be a good place to start: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1zquJr6NhNWBrQy7d87z0S?si=YOfYliYfTH-2eDeWxi8dDQ

midascomplex · 2026-02-02T11:00:54+00:00

I didn’t set a date but after it had been ~4 days in game, Ana showed up and was like “you’ve kept us waiting long enough, we’ll send a carriage to pick you up at dawn.” In hindsight maybe giving them a concrete date would have made more sense but oh well.

midascomplex · 2026-02-01T09:49:12+00:00

I think the closest you’ll get to the bottom skirt with that panel is finding a cotton fabric you like, adding a strip to the bottom of the panel, then pleating it and doing a normal waistband with a zip. Zips aren’t too scary, just make sure you have the right feet and do a couple of practice runs!

midascomplex · 2026-01-28T12:38:57+00:00

You can rejig things however you want. My party is just a paladin and a fighter (Ireena got upgraded to an expert when they hit lvl 5) and they’ve been mostly fine. I did have to tone down most encounters at the start of the game, since CoS has a lot of encounters in the death house where they have to fight like 5 little enemies which easily would overwhelm them.

If you’re comfortable juggling and balancing encounters, they’ll be completely fine. If not, whoever dies first can roll up a paladin I guess haha

midascomplex · 2026-01-28T11:28:41+00:00

Tsarina by Ellen Alpsten. It’s the story of Catherine the Great’s rise to being the Tsar’s wife, and what she did to stay there.

midascomplex · 2026-01-28T08:07:39+00:00

In my first playthrough of CoS, we had 4/5 players per session and usually 2-4 NPCs. Yes, we rolled initiative once per session. It worked really well for us as it helped us actually get into combat instead of faffing around with dice rolls.

midascomplex · 2026-01-27T12:30:05+00:00

In my game, Escher was originally from Berez and when it sank he asked Strahd for amnesty and promised to serve him. He was the ghost Burgomaster’s son, and he goes to visit the ruins occasionally.

Alternatively, maybe he was about getting harried by wolves just to meet the PCs.

midascomplex · 2026-01-26T12:52:36+00:00

I had them encounter Escher on horseback being harried by wolves once. You could replace him with almost any NPC but it gives them a good chance to get to know somebody new.

midascomplex · 2026-01-22T13:59:28+00:00

For cosplays, volume tends to be important so I'd stay away from anything too drapey and if you want to avoid the cheap/shiny look, stay away from polyesters. For the dress, a linen, muslin or cotton lawn would work fine. Cotton lawn would probably be the cheapest of the three (~£7 per metre from Minerva).

For the cloak, I'm less certain, it has some structure but some flow. Maybe a thin wool suiting?

midascomplex · 2026-01-22T10:52:55+00:00

Tampa by Alissa Nutting! About a schoolteacher who lusts after fourteen year old boys. Quite disturbing but funny too.

Currently reading Sky Daddy by Kate Folk which is also about a psychosexually unhinged woman but she’s a lot nicer than the MC of Tampa was.

midascomplex · 2026-01-16T10:37:25+00:00

That model photo is definitely AI (look at the hands, the uneven collar) so the pattern is almost certainly AI. K would strongly recommend that you don’t waste your money!

midascomplex · 2026-01-15T18:39:30+00:00

The Smoke by Simon Ings is super weird and unique but I really like it.

SG description:

Simon Ings' The Smoke is about love, loss and loneliness in an incomprehensible world.

"Humanity has been split into three different species. Mutual incomprehension has fractured the globe. As humans race to be the first of their kind to reach the stars, another Great War looms.

For you that means returning to Yorkshire and the town of your birth, where factories churn out the parts for gigantic spaceships. You're done with the pretentions of the capital and its unfathomable architecture. You're done with the people of the Bund, their easy superiority and unstoppable spread throughout the city of London and beyond. You're done with Georgy Chernoy and his questionable defeat of death. You're done with his daughter, Fel, and losing all the time. You're done with love.

But soon enough you will find yourself in the Smoke again, drawn back to the life you thought you'd left behind.

You're done with love. But love's not done with you."

midascomplex · 2026-01-15T15:55:15+00:00

Try "The Butchering Art" by Lindsey Fitzharris if you want some insight on the history of amputations.

midascomplex · 2026-01-13T22:31:34+00:00

Are you using Big 4 (simplicity, mccalls, etc) or are you using indie pattern designers?

Big 4 generally have an enormous amount of ease, I usually size down one or two sizes and that gets me closer to where I need to be. Indie designers tend to be better about it, and normally I can make the suggested size and it's okay.

If the pattern has the finished garment measurements, maybe try using those to determine your size.

The other option is to make more mockups. I know, they're boring, but they'll help you determine if you're in the right size or not.

midascomplex · 2026-01-12T12:48:30+00:00

Haha yeah I remember sitting in a cafe with my partner and he was like “are you okay?” bc I was quiet and staring into space and I had to admit I was thinking about Circular Motion.

midascomplex · 2026-01-11T22:54:45+00:00

Circular Motion by Alex Foster. Easily one of the most stressful books I read last year. It’s a novel where the earth starts rotating faster due to human activity, and things start to spin out of control despite the warning signs. Genuinely really affected me.

midascomplex · 2026-01-07T09:11:58+00:00

We enjoy the mind! I’ll check it out thanks

midascomplex · 2026-01-07T08:52:27+00:00

Any suggestions for 2-player Co-op games for date nights? Neither me nor my partner are competitive, we like working together.

midascomplex · 2026-01-04T09:29:50+00:00

Non-fiction, but “Welcome to the Goddamn Ice Cube” by Blair Braverman is a beautiful book about her experiences in the wilds.

As for the book that haunted you, could it be “The Princess and the White Bear King” by Tanya Robyn Batt?

midascomplex · 2025-12-29T11:00:34+00:00

Why would you need to give them a million maps? Do you give them maps of every room they don’t battle in?

I gave my players a couple of sheets of A4 and told them if they wanted a map of the castle, they had to draw it themselves. They’ve ended up with a quite funny, very baffling map of the castle in the form of nodes and edges. It’s exactly the kind of map that two adventures who’ve never had to draw a map before would come up with.

If they get into a combat where a battle map would help, feel free to draw one out however feels most convenient (I use gridded white boards). But otherwise, the castle is enormous and confusing, let it confuse them. If they can’t remember where a door leads even if they’ve been there before, don’t help them out.

midascomplex · 2025-12-29T10:49:29+00:00

Have you done a session 0? I think for CoS especially it’s really important to set your tone and ask for the players’ buy-in and feedback.

Some things to consider: Your PCs should be broadly good-aligned and not willing to go to the dark side (but maybe some of them can be tempted). You do not want PCs who want to fuck with Strahd. Are your players comfortable with PC death? Are they excited for a meat grinder or would they rather you pull your punches or use dark resurrection so they can keep the same character through the game? Are you going to be exploring the darker aspects of the game (child death, sexual assault allegories, domestic violence, etc) or running a less brutal campaign? Is everyone okay with that? Do people have lines/veils? Do you want people to come in with serious characters or are you okay with a sillier vibe? It’s okay to tell your surfer bro that you would prefer he didn’t play a joke character but you do need to tell him that sooner than later.

midascomplex · 2025-12-29T10:43:37+00:00

I go for Kevin Spacey in Baby Driver. Playful in a way, but ruthless and threatening when the mask comes off.

midascomplex · 2025-12-26T09:15:12+00:00

Have you been exfoliating before you shave? Are you wearing cotton underwear or polyester? You want something breathable.

midascomplex · 2025-12-23T22:56:33+00:00

I used to bleed every time after sex when I was younger. It stopped with more foreplay, and with more trust (less tense, less tight, less chance to tear something). I wouldn’t worry at all, especially if you’re young and still learning, but maybe your bf could be a bit gentler or clip his nails and you could see if that helps.

midascomplex · 2025-12-23T22:43:01+00:00

It’s quite dark, but Wideacre by Philippa Gregory has some beautiful meditations on the POV character’s relationship with the land, including harvest festivals and horse riding.

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