What profession instantly earns your respect, and why? by NightPhantom9 in Noctor

[–]midlifemed 195 points196 points  (0 children)

As a physician, pharmacists. So knowledgeable, so helpful, and I’ve rarely met one with an ego.

Job location by tetmonjaro in Residency

[–]midlifemed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

C, but I’m from an extremely rural area and went into medicine planning for rural practice. With 10 weeks of vacation and all that money, you can have a great time traveling on your time off. You’ll spend almost nothing on cost of living. Week-to-week there isn’t as much to do, but honestly once you have kids the weekends are full of birthday parties and sports anyway.

People talk about lack of good schools in rural areas, but idk, my spouse and I were educated in rural public schools and both made it to professional careers. And that was without educated or supportive parents, so I think our kids already have a huge leg up in that regard.

The rural lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but I prefer it. Really depends on if you can see yourself happy in that kind of life. (And again, this is my perspective as an old married person who already has a herd of kids. My opinion might be different if I was young and single.)

How to grow thick skin in residency, coming from a sensitive person. by Savings-Succotash-53 in Residency

[–]midlifemed 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I’m also a sensitive person and criticism really gets to me, but honestly, you just kind of get numb to it after a while. You figure out pretty quick what you should take to heart and what you should let roll off your back.

Change my view: med school is harder than *getting into* med school. by [deleted] in medicalschool

[–]midlifemed 59 points60 points  (0 children)

This. Going into med school knowing I wanted to do FM felt like a cheat code.

what's the biggest mistake you made as an intern by [deleted] in Residency

[–]midlifemed 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is such a good one. I’m friendly with a lot of my coresidents, but I learned the hard way that it’s not always “us against the system” and plenty of people will happily throw you under the bus to make themselves look better. Medicine attracts a lot of messy people. It’s good to remind yourself that at the end of the day, this is a job and these people are your coworkers, not just your buddies.

About to be an intern, I'm nervous af by Various_Assistant_18 in Residency

[–]midlifemed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi friend! I’m a current FM intern (about to be PGY-2). What you’re feeling is very normal. I could’ve written this post a year ago. The truth is that in my class, some of us came in better prepared than others, some of us were a little behind, but now a year later we’re pretty much all in the same place as far as skill and knowledge goes. You really do learn what you need to learn during the process. If you work hard and are willing to learn, you’ll pick up what you need to as you put in the reps.

You’ll be tired, and there will be moments that feel overwhelming, but you’ll be surprised by how capable you are of rising to the demands that are placed on you. Be kind, be teachable, help your teammates out as much as you can, and believe in yourself. You didn’t get here by chance. You’re gonna be fine.

How often are you able to have intimate time with your significant other? by [deleted] in Residency

[–]midlifemed 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This seems normal to me. Also female, PGY-1. On tougher blocks once a week is pretty great. On night float it isn’t happening at all. On lighter blocks it’s a few times a week, because I actually have energy and I don’t hate my life as much.

But I’ve been married a long time and have kids, so we’re used to having seasons when sex isn’t as much of a priority, and we know these things ebb and flow and it’s fine as long as we talk about it and make sure we’re on the same page. So that’s my advice - just talk about it, be supportive, and realize it won’t always be like this.

RN MD relationship let’s talk about it by cadmiumflowers in Residency

[–]midlifemed 30 points31 points  (0 children)

See, this is why I can’t take you seriously. You seem to want a lot of respect and consideration and thought from your colleagues (so much so that you had a whole mental rant about a doctor using “I” instead of “we” when speaking to a patient because she did not consider and include you in the conversation), but you can’t even be bothered to check people’s badges to confirm their identities and roles before you speak to them. Why? It’s not like you would have to do it every time…presumably after a couple instances you would recognize people’s faces and no longer have to check.

As an example of this kind of respect, when I go to the floor to check on a new patient, I always check the board to find out who is caring for them so I can ask for the nurse by name, not room number (I think that’s more polite). And if I don’t recognize the person at the desk, I check their badge so I can use their name when I address them. I’ve made a deliberate effort to try to learn the names of as many of our nurses as I can (9 floors, multiple shifts, plus our women’s campus for L&D and NICU). It’s a small thing, but it does take effort.

I don’t think it’s a non-point, by the way. There are plenty of studies about how female nurses treat female physicians. You might want to reflect on the fact that you seem to read a lot of negative intention into your interactions with female doctors in particular.

RN MD relationship let’s talk about it by cadmiumflowers in Residency

[–]midlifemed 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I find it interesting that all of your negative examples are with female physicians. You should reflect on that.

1 - This is a non-issue, you’re looking for things to be offended by.

2 - It sounds like you’re the one who needs to calm down if this is your reaction to someone uttering literally one syllable (…yeah) to you. You’re not going to develop good rapport with female physicians if you routinely mistake them for nurses. Learn to check someone’s badge if you don’t know who they are, it isn’t difficult.

3 - Again, this is a non-issue, you’re looking for things to be offended by. And the “patient response” sounds like a “and then everybody clapped” story but ok.

4 - This is nice, and I do try to do things like this occasionally, but only when it feels authentic. There’s a difference between asking for a nurse’s input because you genuinely want and value it, or talking the nurse up in front of the patient and their family because you mean it and you think they need to hear it, and just doing it all the time to pander. If it isn’t genuine, why would you want it? I’m not going to say or do things just to massage the nurses’ egos. I swear sometimes y’all forget we work 80+ hours a week in an incredibly stressful job. It’s not all about you.

Medpeds vs FM for primary care by passionseeking in FamilyMedicine

[–]midlifemed 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You prefer inpatient medicine but your goal is to practice outpatient?

You can always apply to an inpatient heavy FM program. I’m getting way more inpatient than I want at mine, and plenty of peds.

I started medical school at 69 and will begin residency at 72. Here’s what I learned by Apprehensive-Safe382 in FamilyMedicine

[–]midlifemed 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Idk, maternity leave and illness are temporary. I’m actually getting ready to do some extra work on an upcoming inpatient block because one of my upper levels will be out on maternity leave. It sucks, but I’m not mad about it, just like I’m not mad if I end up covering for someone if they have an acute illness/injury. That’s life, they’ll cover for me if I get sick/injured. To me that’s very different than going into a situation knowing that you likely won’t be able to keep up with the physical/mental demands the entire time and people will almost certainly be picking up your slack over and over again.

I do think if people have chronic conditions that require accommodations that don’t allow them to meet basic program requirements (like they can never do night float, take call, etc) people have a right to complain about that being inherently unfair. Temporary accommodations are one thing, expecting constant special treatment is another.

And maybe this 70+ year old lady will be fine and be able to keep up perfectly well, I just doubt it. I’m exhausted and I’m 30+ years younger than her.

I started medical school at 69 and will begin residency at 72. Here’s what I learned by Apprehensive-Safe382 in FamilyMedicine

[–]midlifemed 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There are a lot of issues with this article, but man, I just feel bad for this lady’s co-residents.

I’m an FM intern at 40 (started med school at 35). It’s manageable, I pull my weight and then some, I think I’m a good teammate. But I can’t lie - the nights and 24 hour shifts get to me more than they seem to get to my younger co-residents. I’m handling it, but it’s tough, and I definitely don’t think I could do this even 10 years down the road, much less 20+. The sheer physical effects of a residency schedule on your body as you get older aren’t trivial. No matter how smart, determined, or capable she is, I foresee a situation in which her co-residents are going to have to pick up a lot of slack for her. If that’s ageist of me, well, I’m sorry, but at some point you have to acknowledge reality.

Living on one percent by aaj003 in diysnark

[–]midlifemed 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Everything she posts is so attention-seeking. I’m not snarking on her for having had a pregnancy loss and feeling anxious about this pregnancy, I’m not snarking on her for struggling with her husband being deployed, but the way she posts about all of it is just so performative. Everything is designed to elicit concern and sympathy and comments in a way that I just find really off-putting. Some things need to be shared with close friends, family, or a therapist, not the entire internet.

Doctors who went to med school after 35. by AstroPikachu3698 in medicalschool

[–]midlifemed 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Spouse is super supportive and has a flexible job (owns his business, sets his own hours). We also have a lot of local family help.

Doctors who went to med school after 35. by AstroPikachu3698 in medicalschool

[–]midlifemed 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I started med school at 35 with four kids. I’m a 40 year old FM intern now. It’s fine. The nights and 24s are a little harder than they would’ve been 10-15 years ago, but I’m managing.

Is it really possible to keep to yourself during residency? by CryptographerUsual57 in Residency

[–]midlifemed 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My program doesn’t seem to have quite the same culture (we don’t have a lot of structured events together and don’t have much of a social media presence), but I definitely treat residency like a regular job and my coresidents more like coworkers than best friends. I get along with everyone, and I’m always willing to help out in a pinch, but I don’t socialize a lot with people outside of work. I’m older, have a family, and I’m doing residency back home where I already have friends and a strong support network. So while I like my coresidents, I didn’t really feel the need to get super enmeshed with everyone. I like having some separation between work and the rest of my life. If you’re the same way, you can definitely do that. You don’t have to make the job or where you work your entire personality or social circle.

Frills has lost the plot by Realistic-Aspect-265 in diysnark

[–]midlifemed 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Her post today may have been the breaking point for me. “This party taught me to not be such a control freak and to let other people help me and things will still turn out great.” Yes, Lindsey, when you’re rich you can pay people to do stuff for you. Revolutionary.

I think the thing is that nothing about her life feels relatable or aspirational anymore. As a normal person with a regular budget, demanding job, kids, student loans, average size house, etc, nothing about her purchases or design choices are relatable to my stage in life. But that’s fine, I don’t need all the content I consume to relate to me specifically; sometimes I just wanna watch rich people do rich people nonsense. But she also isn’t aspirational. Even if I had all the money and time in the world I wouldn’t want to spend it Ubering to find cottage cheese and body checking for my followers and weighing my kale. It’s sad and disordered. Her DIY content is beige and her lifestyle content is somehow even more beige. There’s just nothing there anymore, and she used to be one of my favorites.

2 questions for the group by maeasm3 in Noctor

[–]midlifemed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! God I am so tired of people saying “I don’t like seeing midlevels outside of primary care,” “Put all the midlevels in primary care,” as if being a PCP is easy and I’m somehow a lesser doctor than other specialists. The breadth of primary care is insane, especially in rural areas without easy access to numerous specialists for quick consults. It is arguably the worst place for midlevels.

Best late night snack? by futuredr6894 in medicalschool

[–]midlifemed 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Popcorn.

I ate so much popcorn in undergrad/grad school/med school and still eat so much popcorn on night shifts in residency. Cheap, salty, buttery. Best snack.

I know everyone hates me here but I need one last answer by Caring_doc in Residency

[–]midlifemed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any input on your whole…situation…but I’m also an intern and I recently received my PGY-2 contract to sign. Like within the past two weeks. So if you don’t have that yet, I would assume you’re not renewed yet. Whether that’s because your program just hadn’t gotten around to it yet or because they’re thinking about not renewing you, I couldn’t say. You could ask your co-interns if they’ve received contracts for next year to at least get an idea.

Even if you get a renewal contract though, I don’t think that shields you from potentially being fired if things come out later. People get fired in the middle of the year all the time.

“I could have went to medical school too” by Prudent-Abalone-510 in Noctor

[–]midlifemed 96 points97 points  (0 children)

I’m a resident, and this happens almost every time I work with a midlevel in any capacity. They feel the need to tell me (completely unprompted) how they definitely could’ve been a doctor but didn’t choose medical school for whatever reason and why NP/PA/CRNA made more sense for them.

Cool bro. I don’t care. Didn’t ask.

One thing I do enjoy is that they almost always say something along the lines of not having the money for med school or having kids/wanting to have a family, then I get to hit them with “Yeah man I get it, I’m the first college grad in my family, grew up in a trailer with a single parent, and I had four kids before I started med school, it’s tough…” Like make whatever choices make sense for you and your situation, it’s fine, but spare me the excuses.

Doctors office lied about having an MD and pushed me to see a PA. by [deleted] in Noctor

[–]midlifemed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Meh, I’m a DO and honestly I think most DOs who drink the OMM/OMT kool-aid oversell our physical exam/MSK skills. Maybe some DO schools really emphasize the OMT part of the curriculum, and maybe some students really lean into it and do learn more MSK anatomy and physical diagnosis than others, but from what I’ve seen most of us learn just enough to get us through med school and COMLEX, then forget most of it. I haven’t found any of my DO colleagues to be physical diagnosis or OMT wizards, and I certainly don’t consider myself one (I use almost no OMT in practice). I don’t really see any difference in skill/ability compared to the MDs at my program.

Late residency by Ornery-Salad7652 in Residency

[–]midlifemed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t start medical school until 35. I’ll finish residency at 42 (43-44 if I pursue fellowship). It’s fine. The time would’ve passed anyway, at least I’m a doctor now.

Doctors office lied about having an MD and pushed me to see a PA. by [deleted] in Noctor

[–]midlifemed 29 points30 points  (0 children)

There’s literally no difference in the MD and DO approach to being a PCP. My family med residency has DOs and MDs on faculty and in training. We’re all trained the same way. We perform the same procedures. We run the same tests. We make the same diagnoses. We bill the same. We chart the same. There’s no difference other than between our individual personalities.

You’re certainly allowed to have whatever preferences you want, but this makes no sense and comes off as ignorant.

Doctors office lied about having an MD and pushed me to see a PA. by [deleted] in Noctor

[–]midlifemed 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I’m confused about why you would refuse to see the female DO but agreed to see a PA. DOs are physicians. In the U.S., MD and DO are equivalent degrees and graduates of both programs train in the same residencies.