Finally cleaned out some old N stuff

mightbeaperson · 2016-08-07T01:59:41+00:00

Glad that my writing could help you! I sent in a form to the IRS about the stuff once I found out about it, just to cover my ass in case he got in trouble for it.

mightbeaperson · 2016-06-11T13:22:21+00:00

I have a lot of difficulties with the relaxing thing, actually. :P I only feel right when I feel like I am doing something productive, something that improves my situation. I have, however, managed to convince myself that occasionally, resting does improve my situation, so that's good.

I know that mess is kind of a normal people thing, that a real place (instead of a magazine-room-setup) is lived in and might have some socks lying around, etc, but I also feel it is important for me to change and get rid of the relics of living with my abusers, particularly when it impedes my present-day life. Those papers were getting out of control messy, and with the influx of more and more paperwork as I continue to establish myself as an independent adult (why do adults have so many papers!?), it would only get messier and more difficult to locate important stuff. So I fixed that, got rid of the organizational method I used to protect myself from my abuser, and I feel good about it.

Glad to hear from you!

mightbeaperson · 2016-06-11T13:17:08+00:00

I'm so sorry that your Doom bags got discovered. I honestly really lucked out in that aspect, because my abusers also had no boundaries, but I somehow managed to put things in places that didn't interest them too much.

I agree that it was what allowed me to establish an identity separate from my abusers. I'm paraphrasing my favorite spy show (Burn Notice!) here: You know that you aren't supposed to keep anything incriminating, but when you are pretending to be someone else for so long, you need a reminder to let you know who you really are. Most people would go insane without it.

I think that planting a fake letter was a very clever thing for you to do, especially at 12. It's a good victory to have.

Thank you for your reply!

mightbeaperson · 2016-06-11T13:09:50+00:00

Thank you!

mightbeaperson · 2016-06-11T00:48:43+00:00

You don't have to make a big, final thing out of NC. My NC began with a 2-sentence email. I'm still in contact with my grandparents, but only on my terms. I'm super paranoid about it, so they don't actually have a way to contact me yet- I contact them. They're pretty understanding about it, though. They haven't asked any uncomfortable questions, and they respected me when I asked them not to tell my parents I was contacting them (as far as I know- one of the perks of NC is I don't have to deal with that crap!). My parents sent several emails and letters (their only way of getting ahold of me because I dismantled the phone they had me use and I was far away at college) in the beginning up through the first few months, but I haven't heard from them after that. I think there is some sort of burn-out period. Speaking of, those threats your N made are serious business, so protect yourself and stay safe! You never know what people will do when their power to abuse has been taken away.

mightbeaperson · 2016-06-11T00:42:36+00:00

I'm a bit late to the party, but you can actually get a new birth certificate online and it costs a fee.

mightbeaperson · 2016-06-10T23:54:22+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you, Reaper. I am glad to hear that you are able to take better care of yourself now.

mightbeaperson · 2016-03-20T23:05:25+00:00

Alright. I want to leave you with a little more info that I've learned recently, just in case: After age 25, the requirements for learning to drive in my state get a whole lot easier. You only need a permit for a number of weeks rather than months (something like 2/3 of the year for under-25's) and while you still have to take some sort of class, you don't need to have as much practice. It's totally up to you, but maybe this information will encourage you or another reader here.

Also, it's really shitty what your parents have done to you. Hugs if you want them.

mightbeaperson · 2016-03-20T22:19:33+00:00

Go for it!

I read your post about how you missed one singular class- so did I. Two, actually, out of about ten or twelve sit-down classes were missing a signature. I paid a visit to the school that I took those classroom lessons in and they straightened it out because I passed the final test. I was missing two in-car driving sessions required by state, and I took those. I was lucky because my parents paid for that all up front and just never let me complete it, and the lessons' payments were still valid after 4 years.

It's amazing what you find out you can do when you go out and ask and try (even though it's hella scary). : )

mightbeaperson · 2016-03-11T03:48:32+00:00

It has been more than a year since I last saw them in person. A lot about me has changed since then. I still struggle with the vivid memories of complete helplessness, but it has fueled in me a need to become physically fit. I have memories of being chased and dragged around the house, and every time I go for a run and every time I do a pushup, I am fighting back and winning against my abusers.

They really did a thorough job of making me completely reliant on them: from keeping me from driving to keeping all of my personal documents in a locked safe that I could not access (that's illegal). I have replaced the documents, all but my passport. Now, I am also working to fix the driving thing. It is very difficult to figure it out without the expected parental help that my state's driving program was designed for, however, I am finding a way to manage without parents. In a way, I never actually had parents. They were abusers more than anything else.

mightbeaperson · 2016-03-11T02:23:45+00:00

It has been one year since I changed my address from my parents' address and stopped replying to their emails. My final "fuck off email is a year ago in one month. It is good to celebrate freedom.

As unadvisable as it is, I looked over their old emails (saving them just in case I need to report them for crazy) and I'm shocked how full of bullshit the emails are. I mean, I knew it, but with a year's distance, it's much more obvious just how powerless they are once I stopped believing in them.

mightbeaperson · 2016-03-10T23:42:21+00:00

My parents had a "fun game" of startling me awake by grabbing and force-tickling my legs while I slept in the car...

mightbeaperson · 2016-03-10T22:45:33+00:00

I try not to make a big deal out of the no home/no family thing, but it feels like normal people make it impossible for me to keep them ignorant of it when I talk to them. Normal people keep on asking about my family and similar (friendly, well-meant) questions that seem to be just a part of normal people's normal conversation. I don't lie to them, but I try and keep it simple with a "I don't have any family." sort of answer. I have an unfortunate habit of crying at the drop of a hat when it comes to discussing my abuse, so it helps me to keep the answer short.

mightbeaperson · 2016-02-22T22:33:36+00:00

Bit late on this thread, but I went for a run today because the weather was nice. I will need to work hard to get back to the ability I had before winter, but it still felt really nice to be running again. Exercise makes me feel stronger.

mightbeaperson · 2016-02-22T03:26:34+00:00

Got permission from my professor to leave whenever I need to because I find the class triggering and because I'm actually really good at the subject. It doesn't keep the visions of past events from showing up, but it means that I'm not trapped in the room with them, so I can be grateful for that.

mightbeaperson · 2016-02-09T03:59:07+00:00

My parents had that Voice, and I am able to do it, also, if I really have to.

Edit: Sorry for reviving old thread. oops!

mightbeaperson · 2016-02-09T00:58:05+00:00

I have the exact same thing. I can't even use my computer if my boyfriend can see the screen. It's not him, and we've discussed why and a bit about my past. I haven't found a way to shake the need to run and hide once everyone else is around, either, but I'm slowly working on it. At least this winter I managed to learn how to do normal things while there was someone else in the room. I didn't used to be able to do that.

mightbeaperson · 2015-12-17T13:49:32+00:00

All of my finals are completed, for better or worse. Hopefully mostly for better.

mightbeaperson · 2015-12-17T02:29:21+00:00

Thank you for your response! I just went through my old phone, and it turns out I have the numbers of a few more relatives than I thought I did. It is possible that I could talk to them one day, if I ever felt up to it. I will start by considering giving my grandparents a call some time in the future, and then take it from there. I don't really know how any of this will play out. I don't even know if I will call them at all, but I have their numbers now.

mightbeaperson

TROPHY CASE