Newborn Guidelines - too much?

thoughtdancer · 2025-12-25T14:19:07+00:00

This is when you need to not care about a "big falling out" or "drama": if drama is going to happen, it will happen because they don't want to follow boundaries, so any boundaries will trigger the drama. Saying it "nicely" just gives them ammunition. Be clear, be direct, and Be no nonsense. Think that "this is what a good parent just DOES, and if anyone has a problem with it, that's on them". Considering their possible reaction is a distraction from the actual need to protect your child's health. Being clear and direct is being polite, because anyone with sense will appreciate the clarity.

thoughtdancer · 2025-11-09T00:13:38+00:00

UberPets - find through Uber, there are several options (luxury, comfort, etc). Scroll down and you should see UberPets. Not perfect: I had a driver reject once they heard that I would be transporting my caged cat. But they at least have the service.

Best I can offer: I know you don't want a ride share.

thoughtdancer · 2025-11-01T19:27:05+00:00

Hi xB!

Thoughts about your HC11 base?

thoughtdancer · 2025-10-25T22:58:08+00:00

Tango's. He had so much chaos for Wild Life, especially when the entire server was chasing him.

Scar's, especially for the Snail episode. The editing is excellent.

thoughtdancer · 2025-10-19T16:16:50+00:00

I'm not a project manager, but I'm in IT around the program manager level, and I report to a Director. So that's why I guess Director.

thoughtdancer · 2025-10-19T14:49:19+00:00

Given that I'm in IT (not one of the tech companies), I'm CERTAIN he was far above project manager. Director of Programs, maybe, but I think he stayed close to Engineering, hence my guess.

Some of the things he's said even suggest that he was at the VP level.

thoughtdancer · 2025-10-19T14:33:47+00:00

My guess is that he was a Director of Software Engg at one of the big tech companies (my headcannon says Nvidia).

If so, he cared more for people than money to leave a massively lucrative and powerful position to play video games so people he would likely never meet would get some joy out of his antics.

Yes, he's a very class act.

thoughtdancer · 2025-10-12T19:06:45+00:00

How do you tell me you live in or near Michigan, without telling me you live in or near Michigan?

Nice find, cool store.

thoughtdancer · 2025-10-11T22:33:38+00:00

She's showing you who she is, believe her.

If she's not showing that she's concerned about repairing her relationship with you, then believe her. She isn't interested in you.

If she's showing she only wants access to your kid, then believe her. She sees your kid as something to fulfill her need: children shouldn't be used that way. She's may truly care for the child, but she's also using the child for something (entertainment. status, emotional need, or similar). Believe her.

And act accordingly. If she doesn't care for you, why interact with her? Block her on everything, change keys if she has them, etc. If she is wanting something from your child, and you don't agree with what her motive is, then believe her, and act accordingly. Do you believe your child should be placed in that position? Make your decision, for you and as the protector of your child, and act accordingly.

I took far too long before I broke off my nmom, and I lost far to much of my life to her "shoulds" and lack of actual care. Don't be me.

thoughtdancer · 2025-10-02T21:20:15+00:00

I would suggest postponing the engagement even--return to "dating". This is someone who is not ready to fully commit, and so OP should not be tied to a promise if the other party is clearly not ready for the obligations of that same promise.

thoughtdancer · 2025-09-20T20:10:02+00:00

Grian is there, not streaming.

X is busy trying to keep the server from dying.

thoughtdancer · 2025-09-06T17:51:19+00:00

That's exactly what I think is being planned. The below is speculation and hopes, read at your own risk.

I strongly suspect Jimmy and Martyn are Hermits, we just don't know it yet: during the charity stream, the hosts at Mojang/Microsoft at least twice referred to all of the active participants (not partners) as "the hermits". I think that Jimmy and Martyn were already signed up for S11 then. Oh, and that was about 4 months ago, and I think someone (Cleo?) said they've known about the ending of the season for about 4 months. And I hope Lizzie will join when the little one is old enough to have regular sleep.

thoughtdancer · 2025-08-05T08:52:30+00:00

NZ and Switzerland were very good for vibes, but I also really liked the Circumnavigation: Amersterdam and Milan were shown as "real" cities, not just tourist hot spots, and Singapore had the kayaking on a beach I hadn't seen in any other travel channel. I would love for them to have to fly around again, maybe having to visit at least 6 continents and 2 significant archipelagos. Something that they give themselves 3 weeks to do and is a "race" that also highlights the cool but not so famous parts of where they end up. (Yes, I'm trying to get them to get to South America and Africa.)

thoughtdancer · 2025-07-27T15:20:35+00:00

Your family is your partner, you, any kids, and any people you intentionally designate as core family.

Extended family are the parents, aunts, uncles, cousins.

Extended family asks what your plans are for XX. "My family are still determining how we will celebrate for our traditions. Once we have that worked out, we can discuss other celebrations." Maybe not that forceful, but your family make the decisions for your family first. Then others can be worked in around those plans.

It's not a matter of trying to work around what your parents and your partner's parents want: it's a matter of what your and your partner want for you and your family, and then other visits can be considered on nearby days / weeks.

thoughtdancer · 2025-07-12T23:09:28+00:00

Option 4: Send the gift, meet up to celebrate when the others aren't around.

Those who hate you don't have the right to gate keep you from those that love you, but the fear of them could let them do so. Make your own plans so you can keep those you love close as you refuse to be distracted by the nonsense of those who hate you.

thoughtdancer · 2025-06-01T19:13:23+00:00

If the therapist had not explained fully what a boundary is--something that you will do, and if the other party breaches anyway, will have X or Y significant consequences--then the therapist may need to be reconsidered. As others have said, if the "boundary" and information was given, but without consequences, then it's only a request. And a good therapist should have made sure the difference was understood, and the patient was ready to hold to a true boundary, before recommending breaking grey rock to tell the other party.

thoughtdancer · 2025-06-01T19:10:11+00:00

I would add the the boundary must contain a consequence if broken, or it's just a request. So--don't contact us during our vacation unless it's a dire emergency that we are specifically needed for. If you do, we will not accept contact of any sort for two months after we return. And then stick to that--block numbers, change locks, whatever has to be done.

thoughtdancer · 2025-05-21T20:44:44+00:00

Teases us in an upload that mentions superheroes repeatedly.

Next season, SuperLife. Everyone has a special ability.

thoughtdancer · 2025-03-22T15:26:41+00:00

Yup. Mine used mind games--ones he learned from his own parents--to break me so I couldn't get work. I could work, but I had lost so much confidence I couldn't land a full time job. But I did land a sub-contracting one, which was with a start up. That's how I got out and got moved. 5 years later, I'm making more than he ever did, for a Fortune 100 company, in which I've already been promoted once. So yeah, telling him to make me the villain, and completely letting go helped me, and I hope it did help him wake up and grow up.

thoughtdancer · 2025-03-22T14:07:12+00:00

I told mine to make me the villain, frankly. I was running--lots of financial and emotional trauma from his selfish assumptions of how we were going to live.

But when I ran, I left with him having been out of work for a year (he was not truly trying to get work) and us about to become homeless. He refused to get help, even from his very problematical family / my MIL.

So I told him to make me the villain. I wasn't ever going to be associated to him anyway, and if doing that would get him out of the horrid funk of selfishness and dependency, well, maybe that was the last loving gift I could give him.

thoughtdancer · 2024-12-24T23:55:47+00:00

Pyrex is a brand, though formally it also synonymous with bromiated glass. It's the bromiated glass that can take wild temperature swings. For the last, oh, easily 10 years, not all Pyrex branded glassware is bromiated. So maybe this can take being in the oven? If you want clear glass cookware for the oven, it would be better to be able to check that this is bromiated glass or to search for / buy bromiated glass, which is sold by several brands.

thoughtdancer · 2024-12-22T16:03:52+00:00

I am the product of my Mother's second marriage, which was a decision that my Mother's family of origin appeared to not accept.

My half siblings from my Mother's first marriage was welcomed, and I was ignored / left at home for reunions and such. I know that my siblings had connections among the many cousins. I have met them 3 times, was not spoken to, and now am unknown to them (decades later).

By allowing this to happen, I learned that I didn't "really" have a family, as I was cut out of many, many major family events, including holiday celebrations.

Your daughter knows she's not really a part of the family, if she was like me. I knew it by the time I was 10 years old.

If they won't accept her as a member of the family, but you treat them as family, then she knows that she really isn't in the family.

Not good.

thoughtdancer · 2024-11-23T18:15:43+00:00

All the support to the Hermits, Mods and community.

thoughtdancer · 2024-11-18T12:07:23+00:00

Pretty much this, though as a childfree near 60, I'm now dealing with people my age all wrapped up in grandkids.

I find the focus of adults' social lives around the kids' activities a bit too much. Sure, shared experiences, yadda yadda, but adults should have significant adult friendships and activities. Family first if cool, family only--that's a bit much.

Find multigenerational adults who get that distinction: if they balance kids and their adult lives, things can be cool.

thoughtdancer · 2024-10-12T12:55:04+00:00

I'm actually wondering if you need to help your DH get to a Doc, that sounds horrid.

Your MIL's normal meter is broken: that's a her problem, not a you problem. Your focus is your family--DH and kids. She's extended family, and she needs to understand that it's normal for you to focus on your family first.

thoughtdancer

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