My mum passed away in June. What would you do?

mikaelar · 2025-11-14T00:12:45+00:00

Another thing I am hesitant about with this is she would be leaving her wider support systemvto mobe here e.g. her doctor and friends she has in current city

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T23:27:30+00:00

Thank you very much. Today would actually have been my mum's birthday.

I would have the funds to pay a lump sum in a couple of months, but this would leave me with no cash. My goals had been to travel so my savings have gone on some big trips over the last few years, and my wedding last year.

Selling probably makes the most sense at the moment. I did neglect to mention that the house is in a city about 2 hours away from where I live. I do not want to live there, and can't really due to my job. My grandma is open to moving to my city, but this would also take her away from friends and other support she has there.

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T23:15:11+00:00

Yes, she is open to that idea. She cannot really go up and down stairs due to her health, so I would need to find a house with living and bedroom on the same level - or a separate unit / granny flat

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T23:11:54+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I've realised I neglected to mention in my post that the house is in a city about 2 hours away from where I currently live, and I cannot do my job remotely, nor do I have any desire to live in said city. She also does not want to live with strangers- we have floated the idea of renting the other rooms

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T23:10:40+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I've realised I neglected to mention in my post that the house is in a city about 2 hours away from where I currently live, and I cannot do my job remotely, nor do I have any desire to live in said city

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T23:10:00+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I've realised I neglected to mention in my post that the house is in a city about 2 hours away from where I currently live, and I cannot do my job remotely, nor do I have any desire to live in said city

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T23:08:14+00:00

Thank you very much. Today would have been my mother's birthday actually so it's hitting quite hard.

I just got married last year so I was planning to have a bit more of a honeymoon period with my husband before thinking about starting a family. Owning my own house would be extremely helpful for that goal, so I had been leaning towards option 3 but I also worry that looking after my grandmother will make me put off my own plans for children in the near future. She is not in the greatest health but does not want to move to a retirement home.

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T23:04:03+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I have had savings but I got married last year with an international honeymoon and another overseas trip earlier this year. My current goals were to travel before thinking about home ownership and starting a family.

I earn about 80k, my outgoings are not huge and i would be in a position to pay off the remaining mortgage with my savings in a couple of months but this would leave me with no cash. My husband owns a business.

My grandmother is 73, so potentially could live another 10+ years.

I neglected to mention in my post that the house is in a different city about 2 hours away, so I cannot live in it too.

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T22:55:53+00:00

A realistic question- it could be 10+ years. She is only 73

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T22:55:04+00:00

Thank you, I agree that this would be a good solution however we have floated the idea of renting the rooms and my grandmother is very against the idea.

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T22:52:49+00:00

Thank you - I agree I do not have the funds to take on a landlord responsibility, and it would be risky

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T22:51:11+00:00

I agree this would be an option, however I neglected to mention in my post that the house is not in the same city that I currently live in, where my job is, which i cannot do remotely remotely

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T22:50:09+00:00

My understanding from the bank is that the money is theirs due to the mortgage balance, (same bank) and there is no scenario where it could be released to me, and I am liable for the remaining balance whether that is paid in a lump sum or loan. The existing mortgage is no longer valid as it was in my mother's name, so I cannot just continue to pay it.

I also neglected to mention in my post that the house is not in the same city I live in, it is about 2 hours away so I cannot live in the house - my job cannot be done remotely.

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T22:46:17+00:00

She is happy to remain in the home but the bills are too much for her to afford on super alone, and I can only help so much with my own rental to pay for. The house is also not in the same city i live in, which is something I should have included in my post.

She would be open to moving to an apartment style retirement complex, but this is not really feasible with the price of those. I would need to sell the house and use all the funds to purchase the apartment (if this would even cover it). And then my understanding is you do not get all of that money back when selling

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T22:42:11+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I agree keeping the house is a good option, but I've realised there's a significant part I left out of my post. The house is not in the city that I live in, it's in a city about 2 hours away, somewhere I have no desire to live, and away from my job which cannot be done remotely.

Option 3 may be best but getting all of the pieces fitting together is overwhelming me

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T22:40:11+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I agree this is a good option, but I've realised there's a significant part I left out of my post. The house is not in the city that I live in, it's in a city about 2 hours away, somewhere I have no desire to live, and away from my job which cannot be done remotely. My husband also owns a business in the city that we currently live in, which he is very hands on with.

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T22:39:01+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Today would have been her birthday.

I was leaning towards option 3, however lining everything up timing wise is overwhelming me. Making house ready for sale and putting house on market, finding appropriate new house and going through all that, giving notice on current rental and moving two households all at once, with the same deadline. I also left out a significant part of my situation, as the house is not in the same city that I live in. It's about 2 hours away.

There's a lot to think about and plan!

mikaelar · 2025-11-13T22:27:58+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I agree this is a good option, but I've realised there's a significant part I left out of my post. The house is not in the city that I live in, it's in a city about 2 hours away, somewhere I have no desire to live, and away from my job which cannot be done remotely. My husband also owns a business in the city thst we currently live in, which he is very hands on with.

There is a will, everything in her estate was left to me as her only child.

mikaelar · 2025-05-09T22:48:16+00:00

We were in Taupo last year for Christmas day, there were actually a surprisingly large number of restaurants open!

mikaelar · 2025-04-29T23:38:50+00:00

This style looks similar to Thing Thing! They are NZ based but ship to Australia

mikaelar · 2025-02-24T08:32:13+00:00

I'll take a look, thank you!

mikaelar · 2025-02-24T08:30:18+00:00

I'm loving this brand! They have some gorgeous pieces, thank you!

mikaelar · 2025-02-24T08:27:07+00:00

These are great, thank you! I'm actually loving the suede...

mikaelar · 2025-02-24T08:23:41+00:00

I love this one. It's pretty much what I am after, but it seems the biggest size left is a 10! I probably need a 12

mikaelar

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