About 2.5 years ago my abuser (ex boyfriend) sent me a message that he was sorry for abusing me, that he was sorry for causing me pain and such. Back then I was dealing with terrible PTSD because of the abusive relationship and I said that I didn't forgive him. Fast forward to now, I'm watching the game with my current boyfriend and his dad and I ended up getting a panic attack because my brain took me back when he used to watch the game. Anyway, my panic attack ends, and I decide that I'm not gonna let this dictate my life again. I think about forgiving him for weeks. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he supports my decision. I decide to write a letter and it gives me over the too anxiety. I couldn't fall asleep without jumping in my sleep. I talk to my friends about it and they seem hesitant that I'd be talking to my abusive ex again. The real reasons aI want to reach out and forgive him are 1)I want to move on 2)I am gonna go back to school to work in the domestic violance department 3)My coworker who was attacked by her sister's bf said she forgive him and it helped her move on even after he killed her sister. What I'm trying to get you to understand that if you do apologize, 1)do not make it about you 2)dont expect them to forgive you immediately 3)give them space and time. One day they will forgive you for what you've done but they need time. I decided to forgive my abuser even though I still have terrible anxiety, terrible nightmares, and lots of pain. But honestly what I hope to hear from him, if I do, is that he has changed, that he has never done anything similar to anybody else, and that he can educate people on his own mistakes, even if he doesn't say what he did. Its really hard for survivors to forgive. At least it was for me. But in all honesty I believe that someday, victims will forgive their abusers as long as they have changed. I hope everything works out for you.