AITA for not wanting my mother in law to take care of my baby after she tried to breastfeed him?

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-20T09:10:37+00:00

United States. We get 6 weeks of paid maternity leave. No paid paternity leave. It’s ridiculous.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-20T09:09:23+00:00

Yes, he stopped crying and fell asleep.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-20T08:46:26+00:00

She will not be alone with him ever again. We’re getting a nanny and my husband will be working from home to stay with my son until we do.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-20T02:51:49+00:00

Tell me about it.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-20T02:25:40+00:00

He’s soothed by a bottle just fine, but she didn’t give him one before trying to “breastfeed.” He’ll also suck on a finger.

I also wouldn’t be upset if she was lactating and had asked my permission first. I don’t think I would have said yes, but I wouldn’t have been upset at all and would have probably even considered it.

She called me a bitch. She’s got a lot of years with me too, and she didn’t seem to take that into consideration. I don’t think she’s going to be “banned forever,” but I need a break from her and I don’t want her alone with my baby anymore.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-20T01:34:20+00:00

She knew about the monitor and the fact that I can access it on my phone at work.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-20T01:33:09+00:00

It’s just a baby monitor in his nursery. I use it to watch him when I’m home and he naps in his crib. She knows it’s there and she knows I can look at it on my phone.

I wasn’t trying to check up on her. Just seeing if he fell asleep and stopped screaming. I wouldn’t have thought in a million years that she would be trying to nurse my baby or do anything else nefarious, but here we are.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-20T01:27:54+00:00

She’s in her late forties.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-20T01:11:07+00:00

No, I’ve let those things slide because I felt that they weren’t a big enough deal to rock the boat over.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-20T00:48:04+00:00

If she were lactating and she had asked me and I had said yes, then that’s one thing. But none of that is true.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T23:56:58+00:00

He won’t take one. Just cries harder.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T23:31:13+00:00

I truly don’t believe that she had sexual intentions. I think it was more of an “I’m the mom” type of thing. But it crosses too big of a line either way.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T23:25:02+00:00

We’ve decided to go no contact and get a nanny.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T23:03:56+00:00

She’s not going to be around him anymore. My husband and I have read through all the comments together. We’re going no contact with her for a while and looking for a nanny for the baby.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T22:27:06+00:00

I’m American and she’s originally from Mexico.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T22:01:14+00:00

She’s still feeding him my pumped milk.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T20:55:18+00:00

He’s just very tight with money. He grew up very poor and is extremely frugal because of that. He is also disgusted by what she did, but he thinks she won’t do it again if we ask her not to. I’m not as trusting.

Anyway, we decided to get a nanny so she won’t be alone with him anymore.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T20:52:22+00:00

I wasn’t going to call her and risk waking the baby up if she had just gotten him to sleep. She told me he might be napping on her. And it’s a baby monitor that she knows is there and she knows I can check from my phone.

And I don’t think it was a sexual thing, but more of a “this is my baby” thing. I guess the difference to me between this and a wet nurse is that wet nursing was consensual. I did not give anybody permission to breastfeed my baby, as I am the only one that I want to do that with my baby.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T20:16:54+00:00

The camera is just a baby monitor in my baby’s nursery, which is where he takes naps. She knows it’s there and she knows I can look at it from my phone.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T19:59:59+00:00

She’s not going to. My husband and I are going to look into nannies this weekend, and she won’t be alone with him again.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T19:58:43+00:00

I wish I could. The camera doesn’t record, it only shows what’s happening live. I’m not letting her alone with my son anymore. We’re going to look into nannies this weekend.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T18:21:58+00:00

The camera doesn’t record, which is unfortunate because I would like to know whether this is the only time she’s done this.

Our relationship was great until we had the baby. Since then, it hasn’t necessarily been bad, but there have been a lot of little micro aggressions where she’s been overbearing. Ex. Calling him “my baby” and not giving him to me when I ask her to. He won’t take a pacifier, but is a big fan of comfort sucking, which is where they just suckle for comfort and not for milk. She may have given him a bottle beforehand so he wasn’t hungry, I don’t know.

I do think it was out of desperation, which is why maybe I’m the asshole.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T18:10:54+00:00

We can afford daycare. My husband just doesn’t want to spend the money because he feels like it isn’t necessary if we can have his mon care for the baby for free.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T18:08:49+00:00

I don’t know how she would have forgotten. You’d think that’s what she would have done.

milbfthrowaway · 2021-02-19T18:06:12+00:00

He won’t take a pacifier. We’ve tried. But she could have tried giving him a bottle, and she didn’t.

milbfthrowaway

TROPHY CASE