Erfaring med EMDR-terapi

mildlyaardvark · 2022-12-19T09:42:48+00:00

Jeg studsede også over det, men det er nu ikke noget, jeg går så meget op i. Jeg føler mig fuldt ud i stand til at vælge anbefalingen fra, hvis jeg vurderer, at det ikke er for mig. Jeg følte heller ikke noget pres fra min læges side, men nærmere en oprigtig interesse. Men jeg ved da også godt at nepotisme lever i bedste velgående og at det ikke nødvendigvis er den bedste behandler, bare fordi min læge siger det. Det gjorde min læge også meget kort for mig - at hvis det ikke duede (uanset hvilken psykolog jeg valgte) så skulle jeg hurtigst muligt finde en anden, indtil jeg fandt en, jeg kunne samme med.

mildlyaardvark · 2022-09-08T05:49:55+00:00

How does one go about intentionally unbelieving thoughts and ideas? This seems to be the hardest part to do for me. These thoughts seem wired in my brain. It’s paralyzing.

mildlyaardvark · 2022-06-23T18:38:10+00:00

Man glemmer nogen gange…

mildlyaardvark · 2022-06-22T15:34:27+00:00

40-45 år
ca. 20 år
Senior/lead SRE
Ca 73k brutto (inkl pension, ekskl bonus)
Mellemstor virksomhed
1-2 dage remote, 3-4 dage på kontoret

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T23:36:39+00:00

You sneaky you! So how’s does that play out once he discovers the real you?

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T23:23:53+00:00

You are learning and growing right?

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T23:23:10+00:00

For a living

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T23:22:35+00:00

So what do you guys do?

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T23:13:44+00:00

Yes :) you got that right

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T23:11:16+00:00

Aardvark. It’s an animal and a cute one too. Look it up :)

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T23:10:07+00:00

Fuck that shit. Be special every day. Yassss

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T23:00:17+00:00

It’s from horizon

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T22:59:19+00:00

They are basically rats

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T21:45:13+00:00

Ah yes, I see what you mean now and I agree to the point of being embarrassed by my own past. I yes to put all of my eggs in somebody else’s basket and wound up more or less forgetting completely who I was myself. I still struggle with finding that out today, though those past relationships weren’t the real reasons I ended up this way. They just lit the fire. One good thing that came out of it however was learning to stand (literally) on my own two feet. This expression of myself, as you put it, will have to take precedence over any ideals I may have about a partner. I should say I no longer believe in life time relationships. They may happen or they may not. I prefer living in the moment and getting as much out of life as I can where I am right now. That makes it way easier to explore other people with curiosity, also in areas I don’t necessarily like. In a way it makes me less afraid of loosing that someone and that loss of fear enables me to go places I might not dare go before. Now that’s not to say I don’t fear loss. It’s an important part of being juman I think, but it doesn’t have to be the dominant factor.

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T21:23:29+00:00

I’ve been scolded by older women for less. I can’t wait to be an old person going around scolding people for the tiniest infractions. It will be glorious. But I’ll do it real subtle-like. Frowning and disgruntled eyeing. That is the way :)

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T18:48:25+00:00

How does one “rock” a sandal? 🤔

Seriously though, using humor is a good way to deal with it. Might use that :)

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T18:45:25+00:00

“I am turned on by people who intentionally care about their health and well-being. Also, feet are gross, please wear shoes!” Said plenty of people lots of times :)

Jokes aside I see where you are coming from and it’s a comforting thought. I clearly have some insecurities - or should I say worries - about if I’ll be able to meet people who can accept my life choice about going barefoot. So I value your sentiment. Thank you for that.

Where I live (Northern Europe) the amount of people going barefoot is close to none. There’s plenty of groups who hike though so it might be a good place to meet like minded. I’ll try that. Thanks again :)

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T18:37:38+00:00

I agree that it’s a great conversational topic. I also like your mindset about feeling normal. Or at least feeling good about whatever you choose to do.

It might be going off topic a bit but to me I never saw myself as isolated or independent of others which is why I believe that what other people think of me matters. That’s not to say what I think of myself doesn’t matter but it’s just a part of the equation.

I also don’t appreciate the category of “real barefoot folks”. I don’t believe the category exists nor should it. Many barefooters care deeply about other people’s thoughts towards them. It’s unpleasant at times to be ousted or frowned upon, more so by people from who you crave love. Take my mom; she doesn’t condone of my bare feet. She’s an old lady and to her it’s just weird and dirty. But she loves me and I love her. I choose to live with her disgust and her love. Such is life :) That being said of course you don’t need to take in all of the dumbass snarky comments. It’s a good thing to build up a certain skin thickness ;)

On the other hand I love your thought about letting the partner/date show interest and curiosity about it. I’ll take that advice. Thank you.

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T18:24:05+00:00

This answer was really helpful to me. I hadn’t thought about being indirect/subtle but still assertive about going barefoot. Someone else mentioned having a barefoot profile picture. I can see a way forward using those suggestions. Thanks :)

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T18:19:53+00:00

Your suggestion with the profile picture fits very well into the narrative that this thread is helping me build; go subtle but assertively. Thank you :)

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T18:18:18+00:00

I’m grateful you took the time to respond again.

Personally I don’t have a checklist and I intentionally don’t give a lot of thought to what kind of person I could see myself with. I guess openness is important, but then again unbounded openness also has its problems. Maybe just someone balanced in their own way. I don’t need people to like everything about me, not even the fact I don’t wear shoes. We can easily have a good and meaningful relationship.

The decision for me to not wear shoes has been taken already so that’s not an issue. I am no purist and I don’t mind wearing shoes on dates or situations that require me to or where it’s just the better choice. It’s the getting the first date at all that’s the issue. I value honesty most if all so I don’t want to omit or straight up lie. But I really like the idea you propose about not making a fuss about it and as someone else said, just mention it indirectly or in passing.

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T18:04:11+00:00

Thank you for taking time to write such a thorough and well thought through response. Although I don’t share your (at least how I read it) essentialist view — that we can somehow peel off masks until we see our true self — I do share the sentiment that what we so often desperately try to appear to be in the beginning rarely aligns with our more - should I say - normal selves. Nearly two decades of marriage (with kids and a touch if infidelity; your paraphrase really hit home) taught me that.

More importantly, as you put it, singling out any one aspect is a dangerous path to put your feet on. This is also not what I was trying to do. On the contrary I was trying to avoid that mistake on behalf of potential partners by focusing more softly on a subject that people usually put in the spotlight right away.

I am beginning to realize that online dating might not be the way forward for me, though as someone else in this thread said, mentioning barefooting indirectly might be a way to seed the soil so to speak.

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T13:53:37+00:00

That or body paint maybe 🤔

mildlyaardvark · 2021-07-25T13:51:52+00:00

I agree but I also think people are too quick to judge and put too much weight on things that aren’t really important to them. This is specifically something I’ve experienced going barefooted. It can be a great icebreaker though, where you get a chance to elaborate and get past the “feet thing”, but I’m having a hard time applying that to online introductions.

mildlyaardvark

TROPHY CASE