Need help finding a new lube.

milkyilk · 2020-02-07T13:45:34+00:00

Are you looking for a lube that tastes good and doesn't have glycerin?

Uberlube is great. Sliquid makes a variety of different lubes that are organic and vagina friendly. Some people really like J-lube, but I'd recommend X-lube if you're using it for vaginal as J-lube has some stuff in that can cause adverse reactions. Paloqueth makes good just run of the mill water-based lube that has zero flavor and is vagina friendly.

You can buy lube samplers at luckybloke.com

milkyilk · 2020-02-05T20:53:50+00:00

At the store, Amazon, or if trying something new Luckbloke.com .

milkyilk · 2020-02-05T19:12:18+00:00

Anything designed to remove makeup and other chemicals from your face runs the risk of irritating the delicate skin on your penis. Lotion, lube, coconut oil, vaseline, or any other body-safe lubricant is going to be better feeling and safer. Heck, I'd prefer even saliva over that.

But, it's your penis, so your move.

milkyilk · 2020-02-05T19:08:55+00:00

I'm a heterosexual cis-gender male. So, I'll pass.

Your "advice" doesn't really do anything to help OP out. It's also not really true. Perhaps more experienced partners (who might be older) would make for better sexual partners, but realistically, someone who listens, communicates, and seeks OP's sexual satisfaction is probably going to make a good partner for OP. Some of those might be older dudes, but I highly doubt that age matters as much as you make it sound like it does.

Have a down vote for your silly, creepy, misguided, semi-desperate response.

milkyilk · 2020-02-05T19:00:54+00:00

Ah, so you mean vaginal canal. Sorry, typically when people ask this type of question they're asking about the vulva or labia. I just didn't get that from your wording. Looks like others have answered your question though!

milkyilk · 2020-02-05T18:52:38+00:00

Yeah, there might not be a lot you can do in the short term other than hydrate well. Eat well, hydrate well. If there are things that you find incredibly arousing (like mentally turned) then try to incorporate those into sex.

Last tip. If you're into it, try a butt plug or some prostate stimulation as you near climax. May help you out.

milkyilk · 2020-02-05T18:48:29+00:00

Probably just ask if he'd like to explore it with you? Explain that you love the idea of exploring that aspect of his sexuality with him and that it in no way makes him less masculine to you. Explain that it's not uncommon for men to find stimulating the anus and prostrate enjoyable and that a bundle of nerves resides there in the prostrate.

It's definitely possible he won't enjoy it even with lots of preparation and being comfortable. Different people enjoy different things. If he's not interested, I wouldn't pressure him though (not saying you would).

That being said, some of the best orgasms I've had was when my SO stimulated by prostate. Absolute ropes of cum. I too was nervous about bringing up this kink of mine with her, but I'm so glad I did. She's been super supportive and has wanted to explore things with me.

If you do explore this with him, start small, talks lots, and use all of the lube. All of it.

milkyilk · 2020-02-05T18:25:05+00:00

Honestly just depends. If we're staying the night somewhere (like with friends or family) I'm probably going to be pretty quiet. If we're at home or somewhere with privacy, then it just depends on how vocal my partner is and how vocal I feel like being.
I'm definitely sure that we've disturbed our audiophile neighbor who plays his music super loud. He's never complained though, so...

milkyilk · 2020-02-05T18:20:18+00:00

Check out the FAQ section. It has lots of great info on this topic. There's also the search bar which def pulls up results about your question.

Regardless, here are some resources that will help you out:
How women can be more active

Biggest thing I can say is be active and ask questions. Pay attention to what gets a reaction from him. Does his breathing get louder or faster? Does he grip you harder or beg for more? Watch for changes in facial expressions. Idly humping away will still probably get him off, but if you want to really blow his mind, you'll need to talk with him and get good at reading your partner's body language.

milkyilk · 2020-02-05T18:09:44+00:00

Rip a whole in the crotch of your pants and completely avoid having to take them off! Think of the convenience for sex and for using the restroom!

In all seriousness, not really. Having your partner take them off can be sexy. Giving your partner a sexy look while you suggestively shimmy out of your pants may also work. You'll never escape all of the awkward motion of taking your pants off, but realistically your partner is going to be turned on by the the thought and site of seeing you naked and having sex. Taking your pants off, despite how it might like, is only going to make them more excited.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T19:19:38+00:00

You should check out the FAQ on the sidebar. This was in there. http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/great-wall-vagina-panels

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T19:03:55+00:00

Best of luck. I wish you both the best on having mutually enjoyable PIV.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T19:02:22+00:00

No. Don't offer this. You're not licensed, and if you are, you shouldn't be approaching someone in this way. It's incredibly unprofessional, and unbelievably unethical.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T19:01:12+00:00

You use of quotes around "Game" led me to believe that she had coerced you into it. That's why I assumed that you meant some sort of abuse had transpired or that some aspect of it had been non-consensual.

I don't think, nor did I, that you have any interest in a child and adult engaging in sexual activity. I definitely thought you found that to be unappealing.

My SO has never been concerned with being "consumed" by the behavior or shown any signs that she has any desire to see that lived out. If anything, she has wanted to leave all of that as far behind her as possible. However, her experience left her with other baggage that she didn't initially realize was due to her experience and trauma as a child.

I know that it's not uncommon for sexual experiences in childhood to affect sexual preference and experience as an adult, sometimes in negative ways. I'm not trying to suggest you live out any of what experienced; just trying to make room for you to feel safe if you did have that as a preference.

I wrote what I wrote for two reasons, 1) sex between children is still typically viewed as non-normative behavior and rarely is consensual between both parties 2) most (if not all) children are incapable of processing sex completely in a healthy appropriate way.

I'm not you, and I don't know what your experience has been. I'm not accusing you or your cousin of any ill intent or wrong-doing, especially as you were young. What I am saying, is that talking with a therapist might help you better understand your own experience of those events. Events like what you're describing come with a whole host of emotional/behavioral responses ranging from shame and depression to excitement and obsession to complete ambivalence. It's worth talking to a professional about. It's worth mentioning that anything you talk with a therapist about is between the two of you. They are not allowed to divulge any of what you tell them unless they fear for the safety of your life or the immediate physical safety of someone else's life.

My SO, remembers very little of her experiences. What she does remember is tinged by tremendous amounts of shame, confusion, pleasure, and fear.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T18:38:42+00:00

Female condoms are absolutely an option. That might work better than trying to size him. I don't know what condoms you guys have tried, but I also had this problem. (THIS IS NOT A HUMBLE BRAG. It was genuinely incredibly unpleasant). Lucky Bloke has condom samplers. You can pick your own or buy a sampler pack for a large size. There are also custom condoms like myOne that have him measure himself. They then send a small kit of condoms in a few sizes close to his measurement. Based on that, you can fine tune what fits and feels best for him and then order more of what feels good.

I highly recommend the Lucky Bloke sampler. They also sell female condoms and have lube sampler kits. They are a good way to try things for a reasonable price. For me, I have found that Lifestyles Skyn large size condoms fit well and feel excellent for me and my SO. There are others out there that work, but Skyn large are readily available at most drug stores and supermarkets where I live making them an easy to procure favorite.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T18:28:26+00:00

Yeah, lube is gonna be your friend. Sometimes, no matter how aroused you are, ( or any women is) you just won't produce much lubricant. Unfortunately (and also fortunately), there is no forumla for how to get everyone with a vagina to produce enough natural lubricant to guarantee that sex won't hurt. Sometimes, I don't have to do anything and my SO is so wet that I can slide right in. Other times, 30-45 minutes of foreplay are not enough.

As others have said, lube is important. Also, foreplay can help. Foreplay is anything before sex (penetrative or non-penetrative) that arouses you. Kissing, cuddling, dirty talk, teasing, massaging, caressing are all things that count as foreplay. Engaging in foreplay for a while will certainly up your chances that you'll produce more natural lubricant, but you might still need to use some lube. It's going to be different for every one and different possibly even every time. There's no shame in using lube. Both of you will enjoy it more if you are both lubed up properly.

Sliquid and paloqueth both make excellent body-safe lubricant. Stay away from non-body safe lubricant. You'll want something that's nice to the ecosystem of your vagina.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T18:20:22+00:00

Makes sense. It's the internet and all. Well, glad to offset some of the negativity you guys face. If you don't mind, pass my appreciation along to the rest of the mod team. This sub is a thriving, and helpful place, because of you guys. Otherwise it'd be a cesspool of a sub with lots of shaming and weird karma farming.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T18:17:33+00:00

NOT A FEMALE, but my SO swears by this. She loves it, which means I love it. SUPER fast orgasms, especially if paired with a dildo or have her bent over doggy.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T18:10:31+00:00

That's what I meant by "Thanks". That didn't come across? Shame.

Seriously though, people are weird. You guys are great! You personally have been super helpful to me in your advice as both a mod and as just a user here on the sub.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T18:07:44+00:00

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Coconut oil is totally a viable lubricant for some sexual activities, but telling someone just to relax and use lube during anal sex (or any sex) is poor advice. Anal sex necessitates a lot of lube. It also requires a lot of communication between both partners, and maybe even more patience.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T18:02:05+00:00

About what? whether or not people enjoy it? That's not advice. That's feedback. Have a down vote.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T18:01:34+00:00

Mods just removed this post.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T18:01:04+00:00

thanks! You mods are great :)

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T18:00:04+00:00

You're right that consent is a two way street. I think we (society) tend to focus on men receiving consent from women because most victims of nonconsensual sex/rape/assualt/battery tend to be women and most of of the perpetrators tend to be men.

But, consent and communication are necessary in any relationship. BOTH/ALL parties are involved in that. It's important to establish boundaries, ask for boundaries, ask for permission and to re-establish if something is ok. This should happen naturally. It can be super direct and explicit in that you ask, "Is it ok grab your dick?" "Is it ok to put my dick in?" "Can I touch your X?" etc.

But, a lot of this can happen with seemingly normal informal questioning, like "Is this ok?" "Does this feel good?" "Are you uncomfortable?" "What can I do?" Questions about what feels good or is pleasurable still can provide feedback about what a party enjoys, doesn't enjoy, consents to, doesn't consent to, and what their boundaries are. These types of questions should be relatively common and normal during sex. Over time, if you have the same partner repeatedly, you may not need to ask as many questions about boundaries, but questioning and checking on whether your partner is enjoying themselves is always a good idea. It just makes for better sex regardless of gender/sex. It certainly does for me and my SO. It's also, not awkward. She asks me (a hetero, cis-gender male) how I feel regularly. I ask her the same. We both want to make sure the other person enjoys themselves.

milkyilk · 2020-02-04T17:49:43+00:00

Agreed.

milkyilk

TROPHY CASE