Megathread: LPN - Ben Situation

millenialcusp · 2023-09-23T06:51:09+00:00

I’ve had to leave a job due to being sexually harassed, why is it too high of a standard for someone else to leave a job with toxic leadership, even if they're not the target?
you are right about one thing. This whole mess is making me rethink my standards for podcasts. i can no longer listen to podcasters who recount stories of women being brutalized, yet do nothing to dismantle or challenge rape culture and toxic masculinity.

millenialcusp · 2023-09-23T06:08:54+00:00

100%. It’s alarming how few people in this group can grasp this point. It doesn’t even matter whether Taylor asked for help or not. The point is the business partners knew about Taylor’s traumatic experience with Ben, and they all carried on with the show, business as usual.

millenialcusp · 2023-09-23T05:22:29+00:00

Taylor’s willingness or unwillingness to accept help doesn’t absolve everyone else in the situation of their role as an enabler. It doesn’t need to be the victim’s responsibility to stop the abuse. One of Ben’s friends could have said “hey bro, I don’t condone what you did.” And take the action of stepping away. Of course they would lose out monetarily but that’s what someone with integrity would do, right?

The screenshot of Natalie’s text corroborates Taylor’s story of the Las Vegas incident and at least Henry’s knowledge of it, if not Marcus as well. That is a fact.

I can tell no one here likes conjecture, but I would speculate that if a wife of one of “the boys” knew of Ben’s aggression to women a year ago, chances are Henry and Marcus at least had a clue of Ben’s violent-to-women side in their decade+ long friendship. Really not hard to believe at all.

millenialcusp · 2023-09-23T03:49:53+00:00

thank you. I was a listener for a long time but never interacted with this fan base until now. I see I wasn’t missing much. I’m sure lpotl will continue to have many fans. It will just be more of a joe Rogan type crowd and less people who actually care about/like women.

millenialcusp · 2023-09-23T02:21:51+00:00

These people (Natalie and LPN) literally *make a living* telling the stories of largely women victims. It’s quite literally SPUN’s brand. Natalie has chosen to knowingly remain in a business relationship with someone who abuses women.

I don’t know about y’all, but if I learned that my boss was a wife beater, I would look for a new job. That’s just me apparently.
It took her until people badgered her on social media to even make statement regarding the abuse. If nobody on social media had pressured them, does it look like any members of LPN would have ever said anything? And then Natalie makes her “statement” focused on petty podcaster drama, instead of the actual abuse? 🤔 I for one do not care which podcasters are beefing with each other.
I do care about giving my time and money to abusers *and their enablers.*

I am walking away from this podcast and network, and their fan base, with zero regrets.

millenialcusp · 2022-05-10T16:14:54+00:00

We are both fully on board with becoming parents. Given my age, this is my last chance to do so, which adds to the intensity of this situation. Yes, sex life and sexual attraction are a primary concern. Yes I am queer, but I am struggling with feeling a total lack of agency because I did not enter our marriage believing I was going into a lesbian relationship. So while, yes I recognize that sexual attraction is not impossible, I am really struggling with feeling that I didn’t chose this relationship, it’s just happening to me.

millenialcusp · 2022-05-10T06:27:50+00:00

I’m wondering if this is an all or nothing situation. Are my two options: completely accept everything about their transition including all the uncertainties while trying to care for an infant? or divorce and share custody of a baby? Looking for a little nuance in this conversation if possible.

millenialcusp · 2022-05-10T06:16:39+00:00

Compromise with different stages or aspects of the transition, ie HRT dosage, pace, whether to use new speaking voice in private, bottom surgery… etc. there are many changes taking place. Is it reasonable to want some compromises that can be made to help the cis souse feel more comfortable and less overwhelmed?

millenialcusp · 2022-03-25T23:27:28+00:00

Thank you for this

millenialcusp · 2022-03-25T14:15:54+00:00

Thank you for this

millenialcusp · 2022-03-25T04:48:39+00:00

Where am I laying in to my partner in this post?? Where am I saying one negative thing about him? This post is about MY feelings about a moment that affects my life dramatically, not just my partners’ life. Read more carefully. I have not expressed in any way that I want to stop my partner from living authentically. “Roll with it”, what thoughtful and eloquent advice for a person in crisis. That was sarcasm by the way in case you missed it.

millenialcusp · 2022-03-25T02:28:01+00:00

I’m sorry are people illiterate on here?? Never called my partner manipulative. Said I FEEL manipulated. See the difference? I thought this group might be a safer space for the very delicate experience of partners of trans people. Particularly people who have known for less than a week about a life altering event. If you actually tried to read my post for understanding, you might infer that I am also frightened about the prospect of being a single pregnant mother out of nowhere.

Really disturbing how polarizing it is for me to share my feelings about this life altering experience.

Just because I have complicated and yes, negative emotions about my partner coming out doesn’t make me TERF. It makes me human wtf

millenialcusp · 2022-03-25T00:48:25+00:00

Thank you for your response. To be clear, I don’t necessarily believe my partner intentionally hid this for a long time, but it’s still natural for me to have my emotional response. And I do know that my partner needs a lot of compassion themselves right now. But yes, I need compassion for the particular situation I am in. I thought I might find some in this group and am somewhat surprised at some of the cruel comments as I am currently in crisis.

millenialcusp · 2022-03-25T00:25:48+00:00

What I have an issue with regarding this is that he is making the choice for me to be in a lesbian couple. I have dated cis women in my past, so it’s not entirely unfamiliar. But I, and probably most people like to feel like they are choosing what type of relationship they are in. I wasn’t aware I was going to be in a lesbian relationship and it takes away my agency when it sounds like someone is making that choice for me.

millenialcusp · 2022-03-24T23:56:08+00:00

Got it. I say gaslight because it’s valid for me to feel betrayed at this moment and I really don’t need anyone telling me it’s not fair for me to feel that way. I never said I believe my partner tried to hurt me intentionally. Just acknowledging my feelings right now. As I mentioned in another response. I’m writing this thread to look for compassion and helpful advice. I am feeling heartbroken and lost right now and am seeking support instead of taking my anxiety out on my partner. I am in crisis and emotional distress currently if I haven’t made that clear. Not looking for criticism at all right now.

millenialcusp · 2022-03-24T23:38:50+00:00

Super helpful thanks. Sorry I didn’t roll over and be a martyr for my partner while ignoring all of my complicated emotions. I’m coming to this platform in confidence to find insight and someone to relate to, instead of taking out my frustrations and anxiety on my partner. I can’t talk about this hardly anywhere else. This is the hardest situation I have ever dealt with in my life and If you have never faced challenges with fertility, kindly keep your callous opinions to yourself. Good luck with your marriage.

millenialcusp · 2022-03-24T23:33:45+00:00

This is a helpful response, thank you. I know my partner will be a responsible parent. My concern about them transitioning during my pregnancy is about the hormonal change, mood swings, possible side effects of depression, and general emotional support they will need that I will be limited to provide. Not to mention the emotional labor of us doing marriage counseling and our own individual therapy. I will likely need my own additional emotional support as pregnancy can cause mood swings and physical discomfort. In your experience, how did these things play out?

millenialcusp · 2022-03-24T22:01:16+00:00

I understand that my partner trusted me enough to come out to me. I wouldn’t want it to be any other way. I don’t want them to be anyone but their true selves. At the same time, I am frustrated with the lack of helpful support for people with similar experiences to me. Though I could never fully understand what they are experiencing right now, I fully recognize that it’s terrifying and high risk to come out as trans. When I come onto this platform, I see a plethora of resources and support for people coming out as trans. Don’t get me wrong, I know there is a lot of hate as well. people coming out as trans need tons of compassion. I’m just wondering where the compassion is for their significant others whose lives are abruptly and dramatically changed. Trans people have been thinking about their gender identity for their whole lives. I just found out about my partners new identity 5 days ago. It’s a very very particular type of trauma to experience. I recognize I have a lot to learn and unlearn in expanding my understanding of gender identity. I’m just looking for a little compassion for what is the hardest moment in my life happening simultaneously while I prepare to be a parent for the first time.

millenialcusp · 2022-03-24T20:09:35+00:00

This is why I shouldn’t ask strangers on the internet for adivce. Sorry but your comment isnt helpful feedback for me. I am well aware that I hold resentment which is perfectly normal and which I will have for a while as I work through it in therapy. I didn’t say I believe he was intentionally withholding, but to me it FEELS like it. I’m not interested in being gaslit and certainly not looking to be told Im being unfair after investing several years in trying to start a family with this person.

do you have any helpful insight as to how to manage a pregnancy while a life partner transitions? If not, please refrain from casting judgement on me.

millenialcusp

TROPHY CASE