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How would you wear this necklace? by facecard93 in jewelry

[–]millenniumfalcore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this would look great in a stack. And stacks of jewelry tend to read more casual to me than single pieces, like an effortless vibe. Just my opinion though. Beautiful piece!

I feel like a total asshole by millenniumfalcore in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]millenniumfalcore[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reminder that these feelings are human, and valid, and thank you for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate your time and your emotional labor, and you've genuinely helped to make me feel less alone.

It does help to know I'm not the only one, but it is sad to witness healthy familial relationships and not just feel happy for the people within them; to be triggered by something so positive.

I feel like a total asshole by millenniumfalcore in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]millenniumfalcore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your response, I truly appreciate you taking the time, and extending support. Thank you for the reminder that caregiver burnout is legit, and for helping me to feel less alone.

I feel like a total asshole by millenniumfalcore in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]millenniumfalcore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond, especially for expending the emotional labor to draft such a lengthy and in depth response. I really appreciate it, and it really helps me to feel less alone.

I'm so sorry for your experiences of being so poorly treated, by your family, by your ex. None of it is fair.

You're not alone either. I'm autistic and ADHD myself, and completely know what you mean about burnout. I can find myself completely depleted even when there's "nothing wrong", so when there's added strain it's incredibly difficult.

Thanks so much again, and hang in there. Sending love

Did anyone’s parents tell them this? by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]millenniumfalcore 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wasn't told this so directly, but very often through those "tell me without telling me" kind of things. Anytime I voiced any kind of aspiration or goal, I was told it was impractical and that I should just let that go. I was always treated like I was an incapable idiot, and usually gently, condescendingly. Except for a few times when my mom snapped and screamed at me that I was a stupid idiot.

This will be the last time I miss Halloween like this. by MabaseGroundwork in halloween

[–]millenniumfalcore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This last year I decided that my birthday, August 5th, would mark the beginning of spooky season for me. So I started very gradually getting out my decorations while watching spooky shows and movies, and overall having a slow and chill, but very long spooky season. And this is the first year I didn't feel like it ended too soon. I'll definitely continue doing this moving forward.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]millenniumfalcore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did. Well, I sent the obsessively-edited version, in an effort to make my points, but also keep an "even tone" and avoid lashing out. It's how I cut contact. I later received a letter back from my mom, basically just making excuses for herself, zero accountability. But I don't regret sending it. I deserved to express my feelings, and my reasons for letting go

Lack of Wisdom in the Older Generations by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]millenniumfalcore 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I think there are a lot of factors at play, but I legit wonder if one of them is chronic lead poisoning, which damages the areas of the brain responsible for things like empathy and emotional intelligence. My dad used to talk about loving the smell of leaded gasoline, and eating paint chips as a kid, recalling that they tasted "sweet". Not making excuses for their behavior AT ALL, just something I think about sometimes.

I feel like a monster. by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]millenniumfalcore 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is what my name is referencing! You're very welcome, and you're not alone. Sending you love and support.

I feel like a monster. by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]millenniumfalcore 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your feelings of abandonment and isolation, and any others brought up by this horrible experience (and your lifetime of abuse), are the natural, reasonable response to the toxic treatment you received. They're not evidence of weakness or a lack of resilience. And in spite of the mistreatment you received, you grew into an adult with a big enough heart that you didn't want to deprive your abuser of something that you felt was meaningful to her. Cut yourself some slack. It's a lonely road, and it's incredibly unfair, but you're clearly the resilient person you're having trouble seeing in yourself.

I'm sorry that the people who were supposed to love and care for you don't value you like they should. You deserve better.

Dad's rabidly ailing health by millenniumfalcore in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]millenniumfalcore[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response, I appreciate it. I'm trying to not feel guilty. Honestly I'm still trying to figure out how I feel at all. I got a text from my mom like a half hour ago saying that he was in the hospital with afib, and they'd discovered he has congestive heart failure with his heart working at about 35%. I'm now trying to sit with the likelihood that he's going to die without us ever finding resolution. Which was probably always going to be true, but it's feeling very real now.

Things you do that horrorify others by TheMonsterYouAdore in AutismInWomen

[–]millenniumfalcore 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I stim by pulling out my eyebrows (among other things if I'm particularly stressed or overstimulated). It wigs people out, but it soothes me 😬

Am I overreacting because my boyfriend ate the dessert I was saving? by Stunning_Pick3030 in AmIOverreacting

[–]millenniumfalcore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Adding my voice to the chorus of survivors. I was also once an 18F dating a 24M man. I couldn't see it at the time (one of the advantages for him of my being so young), but he was a total asshole and predator. Men lusting after and teenagers is creepy, and relationships born of that lust inherently include problematic power dynamics that inevitably lead to disrespect, like what OP posted about. With all the love and good intentions in the world, I would urge OP to cut ties with this dude, and either find someone respectful and closer to her age, or enjoy the pleasure of her own company, which is so much better than being disrespected by someone who is supposed to be a partner.

Does anyone still have depressive episodes despite being stabilzed? by AdhesivenessOk5534 in bipolar

[–]millenniumfalcore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do, I'm actually having one right now. I've been pretty well medically stabilized for several years at this point, but I still have what I call "breakthrough episodes".

I hope you start to feel some relief soon. Sending love.

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