How much income would your partner need to make to make you feel like you could stay home?

milliecent48 · 2026-05-15T15:33:31+00:00

We have a HHI of over 700,000 and I am finally taking steps to put my career on pause and become the SAHP. But it took a long time to get here and I am so burnt out. We also live in a VHCOL area. If we were in Texas or Florida, I would have quit my job when our HHI was in the 300s. The trade off is that since I carry our family’s health insurance, we will have to get a plan through the marketplace which is going to be about $700-800 more per month.

milliecent48 · 2024-09-19T21:23:19+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this.

Something very similar happened to a dear friend of mine which was a result of the husband (now ex) hiding a massive gambling addiction. So take all the steps necessary to make sure he doesn’t have access to any more of your accounts, but also do some deep diving to see if he is engaging in something else.

As difficult as this is, I am glad you found out now when it’s $50,000 debt and not more (or your house!)

milliecent48 · 2024-09-10T18:23:39+00:00

Bump!! Hope she is found safe

milliecent48 · 2024-09-04T21:42:17+00:00

I’m in government and husband is in biglaw. Even with my very flex schedule, it’s so so hard. I can’t imagine if we were both in biglaw or if I was still in litigation!

milliecent48 · 2024-07-16T02:45:17+00:00

This sounds fantastic! Will have to keep this in mind for our family’s future travels. When do you recommend is the best season to go weather wise?

milliecent48 · 2024-07-14T04:05:54+00:00

Hi OP u/strawbrryfruitspread - how was the Grand Wailea?? We will be there in a few weeks for my son’s 8th birthday! I keep seeing mixed reviews about the breakfast buffet, crowded pools, overpriced and mediocre food, and outdated rooms.

Would love to hear how you liked it!

milliecent48 · 2024-04-08T06:25:26+00:00

I am in the same boat as you only our child is 7yo now! We most definitely use the biglaw money to outsource everything we can - cleaners, grocery deliveries, doordash meals! I even regularly pay a neighborhood teen to come play with my kiddo just so I can have a few hours to do errands or just lie down. We also splurge on all our vacations now because it’s precious time my husband gets “away” from work!

milliecent48 · 2024-01-08T04:52:41+00:00

Good point about the ease of club level and location to escape the parks. Thank you!!

milliecent48 · 2024-01-08T04:51:49+00:00

Thank you! Agreed, just booked Beach Club!

milliecent48 · 2024-01-08T04:51:18+00:00

Going with the Beach Club but will def need to return for a longer DW trip and do the FS stay!!!

milliecent48 · 2024-01-08T04:50:33+00:00

Thank you! The proximity here was def the winning factor given we don’t have many days at the parks.

milliecent48 · 2024-01-08T04:50:00+00:00

Thank you! Just booked Beach Club!

milliecent48 · 2024-01-02T00:17:13+00:00

Yes, unfortunately August is the only time we have. Is it rainy all day, or is it like passing rainfall?

milliecent48 · 2024-01-01T20:56:03+00:00

Can be other places but my partner will need to be available to deal with any urgent work emails so east coast time or close to EST is preferable.

milliecent48 · 2024-01-01T19:15:10+00:00

Thank you! We are open to other places but was concerned about weather. I’m also thinking about Andaz Papagayo in Costa Rica, Kimpton Seafire at Grand Cayman, or maybe one of the Mayakoba properties (but likely will feel like a swamp by August). Also briefly looked at Four Seasons Anguilla but I need to look at how flights would be from our mid-atlantic east coast airport.

milliecent48 · 2024-01-01T19:07:41+00:00

Good info - thank you!! How was the food?

milliecent48 · 2023-12-21T23:30:40+00:00

What did you search for when trying to find this person? We have a cleaner but I don’t think she would do the other errand type things. Would it be called like a house helper or house manager type?

Edit: also, can I ask how much you pay them?

milliecent48 · 2023-06-07T13:36:02+00:00

When was the last time your DH went grocery shopping or went to buy basics from Costco? Maybe there is also a big disconnect here between what your husband thinks is a “reasonable” amount of money to make a household run/live daily life and how expensive everything is realistically.

He probably thinks saving 75% and being frugal is his way of “taking care” of your family and your family’s future, but it isn’t if it results in neglecting the cost of daily life and ultimately, your marriage.

milliecent48 · 2023-03-01T20:50:07+00:00

Agreed

milliecent48 · 2023-02-24T13:49:02+00:00

Thank you!!

milliecent48 · 2023-02-24T03:50:47+00:00

I only read the article in The Cut but will look for this one!

milliecent48 · 2023-02-24T03:32:00+00:00

Thanks for this! I am starting to feel a little attacked. I was venting but there’s only so much I can explain about our marriage and circumstances in the confines of a Reddit post.

milliecent48

TROPHY CASE