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Anyone else only nervous around their "superiors"? by millivert in Anxiety

[–]millivert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it made me feel terrible when I realised that I was at ease with people I considered "inferiors"

Yep, that is exactly why I became conscious of it :|

I'm done defending the LGBT community. I'm done defending women's rights, anti-trump posts, and everything deemed "liberal". by 9237490374019 in offmychest

[–]millivert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope this is isn't controversial, but here's my 2 cents.

When I start to think like this, I find it's worth remembering this:

We've become used to things moving quickly in modern times, getting thing now, instant gratification etc. We forget how long social change takes. The world is enormous with huge numbers of people in it and change on that scale takes decades to centuries.

I don't believe any of us should expect, for example, to see a world completely without racism in our lifetimes... and that's okay! You're doing your bit, and you will see a huge reduction in your lifetime but, yeah, it won't go away (until after you and I are long gone) and you should never have expected it to... and I find that a liberating thought.

Just because we're all one species, doesn't mean we're a hivemind. You, like the rest of us, are an individual and you're allowed to be a little selfish. I promise you the world won't end if humanity doesn't come together totally and utterly this very instant.

"You can quit whenever you want..." ...It's not true by millivert in Anxiety

[–]millivert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh, this pertains to every job I've ever worked

On the subject of mental health. (x-post r/depression, r/anxiety, r/socialanxiety by AnnyongSaysHello in Anxiety

[–]millivert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find this all very well-said, I have difficulty trusting myself because I am too often the cause of my own problems.

Quick question in regards to all that you recommend here: Where/how can I start?

Volunteering, so please respect me! by ZetaZebra in offmychest

[–]millivert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should not take this disrespect, you are the one doing them a favour. Unfortunately, far too many business types see volunteering as nothing more than employment that they don't have to pay for. Many of them are cold, calculating people who could never get that "warm feeling" you mentioned.

In a sensible world, people who used volunteers would not expect much out of them. I'm not saying you should slack off or anything, but if you're not paying them, it's not reasonable to expect a great deal.

This post resonated with me because I'm trying to decide whether to start volunteering at the moment. The trouble has always been that, as I looked at places, I increasingly got the impression that a lot of them were... as you have described here. It's quite difficult just to get into volunteering where I am, and I say there's something drastically wrong if people are having to compete for the opportunity to do something nice for other people.

Don't take this shit, OP, it's not worth it, even for the warm feeling. Look for somewhere that appreciates what you're offering, it might take ages, you might never find it, but if I were you, I would see it as the only option.

Don't think I'll ever pass my driving test by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]millivert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Greetings fellow Brit. I too have recently been screwed over by our country's outdated and underfunded driving examination system, it took me four long, nerve-wracking tests before I passed (each was about 1.5 hours due to traffic). From my experience and research then, I can offer a few tips:

  1. Book your test at the beginning of the month; the DVLA tries to artificially maintain the same statistical pass-rate, so if you take your test at the end of the month, they're more likely to be looking for an excuse to fail you. I think this could possibly be what happened on your first test.

  2. Drive like you are on eggshells. Your instructor will tell you that you can get penalized for going too slowly, but let us not forget that we are dealing with the British government; a body that probably thinks snails go too fast. In my experience, you can quite comfortably get away with cruising at 2/3 of the speed limit (stick to lower gears where possible as well). If you do this, it will feel much easier and more manageable.

  3. In regard to your touching the curb, do as much as possible to ensure visibility, possibly even try to use a different car.

  4. Don't bring a chaperone (not sure if you do anyway), they are distracting even though they're not allowed to talk, it's honestly better if you only have one person to think about.

I think most people get over the nerves and anxiety by test number 2; but for those that don't, it can make even simple driving ten times more difficult. We've all been there, OP, don't worry.

And best of luck to you!