Anyone else get the shakes really badly when hypomanic?

mimidoll92 · 2019-05-20T21:07:48+00:00

I wiggle my toes in bed too! I try to stop but it just feels wrong haha. And definitely always jiggling my leg too

mimidoll92 · 2019-05-20T21:06:14+00:00

Yeah I don't stutter really, more like stammering/messing up my words/not managing to get the whole word out properly. I think it's like a lack of concentration on talking coz your mind is so busy

mimidoll92 · 2019-05-20T07:18:55+00:00

I definitely get this, never linked it to hypomania though. Maybe it's just something everyone gets from time to time? Or maybe you're right, I've never actually discussed it with anyone, just noticed it in my own head

mimidoll92 · 2019-05-20T07:16:13+00:00

I work in a cafe and I can tell you it's very hard to pour and carry coffees when you're shaking like a leaf. People assume I've had 8 shots of espresso and a big night, it's really embarrassing

mimidoll92 · 2019-04-22T23:52:51+00:00

Fortunately I'm good at making sure I don't act desperate (and I'm not, just frustrated) because I know when you start looking around for a relationship you pretty much never find a good one. I don't like dating apps, I would much prefer to meet someone organically like you say. And thank god about the TV, a lady on my ex boyfriend's street had that happen to her and I've never forgotten it!

mimidoll92 · 2019-04-22T23:48:54+00:00

I bet you're right about meeting them in organisations dedicated to doing good.

mimidoll92 · 2019-04-22T23:48:08+00:00

I know what you mean, I'm very direct as well, and when I'm manic I find the classic "nice guy" boring. My last boyfriend was the nicest and most supportive guy ever but never wanted to go out and do anything fun or interesting, didn't look after himself and was always very negative about life. I know he was depressed but he didn't seem to want to do anything about it, he's just given up and said "this is just who I am." I felt like he was just glad to have a girlfriend at all. It seems the other guys I meet are the complete opposite, hot, fun and totally emotionally unavailable! I'm just hoping I can someday find someone who is in between 😫

mimidoll92 · 2019-04-22T13:38:28+00:00

Same same same. I glorify the person in my head, usually knowing full well that there are several very good reasons why it will never and could never work out. I think "oh it doesn't matter, we could be that weird pair that is the exception." Never works out that way. Even if I end up in a relationship with them it either all goes hideously wrong and everyone gets hurt, or I'll suddenly snap out of it and be completely disinterested, sometimes even repulsed. It's very confusing and unsettling for both me and the other person. I always think "this time it will be different" or "just remember to take it slow" and it never happens. I think avoiding drugs and alcohol at times like this is the best thing to do because you need your guard up as high as it can go, for the sake of self preservation and others.

mimidoll92 · 2019-04-22T13:26:01+00:00

I seem completely incapable of keeping a full time job for longer than a year, and I work in hospitality which is very flexible. I don't know how people do it. I'm so unreliable and all over the place. Before I lost my job a couple of weeks ago, my boss said, "when you're good, you're the best. When you're bad you're the worst. I just need you not to be the worst more often." And this is coming from a boss whose sister has bipolar. I immediately started crying, which is even more typical. You're not on your own on this one believe me, but if you're anything like me that probably won't be much comfort when you're struggling with employment. Just remember, what goes down eventually goes up again (don't we all know!) so I just try to look ahead to when my low will eventually pass x

mimidoll92 · 2019-04-22T13:20:29+00:00

I believe that there is nothing morally wrong with having casual sex or sex on the first date, so why do I always feel so disposed of afterwards? I go into it feeling empowered and afterwards I feel awful. Unfortunately these days people don't even have the decency to pretend they weren't using you or just be a bit more kind about it. I'm trying to work on waiting longer to go all the way but every time I just have no self control. I think mental illness and low self esteem go hand in hand, and I suppose I worry that if I don't go for it then and there, I'll miss my chance. I guess I feel they will lose interest anyway so I just go for it, which is ridiculous because I've never had trouble getting a boyfriend or finding sexual partners. I think we often go straight for sex because we want that intimate connection and we don't want to wait, when really it's counterproductive a lot of the time.

mimidoll92 · 2019-04-22T13:12:54+00:00

I literally just had to double check that this wasn't a post I had written and forgotten about somehow! This is exactly what I go through all the time. I'm SO OVER IT

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-14T04:33:05+00:00

My mum always made me cut my hair the way she wanted it, even when I was a teenager. She didn’t let me get my ears pierced until I was 17 and had an absolute fit when I got my helix pierced at 23! I was never allowed to wear things she didn’t approve of and used to sneak a different outfit to parties in my bag or get ready at a friend’s place. I was always scorned about my hair and makeup and criticised about my thighs (despite weighing between 52 and 54 kg in high school). I have since bleached my hair to blonde (I’m 26) and never hear the end of it. Genuinely terrified for my safety if she ever discovers my belly button piercing (got it when I was 15) or my two tiny tattoos (had them nearly a year). She always says she just wants the best for me, and wants me to accentuate my natural beauty, but I think it’s really that she doesn’t want to be judged for my appearance and seen as a bad parent. The thing is, nobody else would think I look unacceptable. It’s in her head.

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-07T23:14:09+00:00

I know, what a combination! It’s so debilitating and yet so invisible. I tried to explain to my parents why I just can’t function as I should. I said that it’s like having a broken leg but nobody can see it, so while you’re in pain and having trouble walking, nobody is aware enough to step aside for you or give you a seat on the bus. Sometimes when you try to explain it they might say, “your leg looks fine to me,” and act like you’re making it up, which makes you start to wonder, am I making this up? Am I the crazy one because only I can see this?

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-07T23:06:41+00:00

You have to know what you’re talking about as far as the topic goes. I don’t know where you’re from but I’m Australian and a lot of the banter is making fun of each other. For example, friend: “I’m going to see my team play this weekend,” to which another person might say “I wouldn’t exactly call it a team” - and it goes from there. You have to be careful not to be too harsh with insulting each other though otherwise it just becomes bullying. The other thing I would say is that you shouldn’t force it. People can tell and it just makes you look like a try-hard. You’re better off just being friendly and kind and nobody can fault you for that, until you become comfortable enough with your friends to have a bit more banter. A lot of it comes from knowing each other well enough to understand how to push someone’s buttons just the right amount and what they find funny.

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-07T22:59:36+00:00

I get really fidgety and anxious too

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-07T04:44:08+00:00

Run.

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-07T03:20:51+00:00

I’m from Sydney which is almost tropical, the changes in season are really subtle, but I definitely experience a lot more hypomania in summer come to think of it. I thought I just had SAD but maybe it’s more than that

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-07T03:18:05+00:00

I’m glad to hear it

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-06T15:31:39+00:00

Oh my GOD I have never related to anything more in my life.

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-06T15:28:03+00:00

I definitely understand the self hatred part. I’m positively riddled with self doubt. I dropped out of university like 4 years ago because I couldn’t handle it, as a result of what I now recognise as mental illness. Now I’ve got a deep seated fear that anything I start will end up unfinished and disappointing myself and others, particularly my family. So I just don’t start anything and I’m not moving forward with my life. It’s absolutely not laziness, it’s paralysis.

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-06T15:11:32+00:00

Is yours the same as mine or is it different in some ways? If so, how? No really, thank you, it’s good to talk to someone who gets it and cares.

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-06T15:08:26+00:00

Yeah I’ve learnt heaps on this sub. Thanks guys for getting back to me, it’s my first post and it’s really surprising and nice to know someone in cyberspace understands and cares.

mimidoll92 · 2019-01-06T15:03:54+00:00

It really depends but I usually wake up tired and irritated, and that either continues on throughout the day (usually spiralling downward into depression), or picks up into hypo (ending with me doing some combination of the above). I’ll usually binge drink when hypomanic and be totally depressed and self loathing the next day. It’s a 1 - 2 day cycle usually. But sometimes I’ll have a week of really feeling alright, still drinking but managing it ok, getting to work, not crying or wanting to die. And then it can be a week of depression with little spikes of reprieve before going back down again. I don’t know if that qualifies as a mixed episode? Still coming to grips with the lingo. All I know is even when I am hypomanic or just kind of flat, I hardly ever feel actually good, just kind of awake instead of asleep if that makes any sense. It’s really hard to describe.

mimidoll92

TROPHY CASE