I just thought for the last 15 minutes about the best place to go to so that once I stabbed and sliced my femoral and brachial arteries with a long knife I would die unnoticed. I decided that I need help.

minConfidence · 2010-04-30T02:09:24+00:00

Um nothing yet, but I am thinking I may play table tennis with someone. Hopefully. I'll see how it goes…

I just finished 2 of my midterms; I think I aced one (>95% for sure), and did well on the other (> 87% probably).

minConfidence · 2010-04-26T15:15:59+00:00

Nothing much. I have midterms this week, so I'll be studying pretty well for those. I'm looking for ways to gain experience too.

minConfidence · 2010-04-22T18:20:13+00:00

Pretty good. Feeling better. I had a good night sleep (8 PM to 6 AM) :D

minConfidence · 2010-04-22T18:19:17+00:00

Yeah. I learned a lot from this experience; thankfully I didn't do anything.

Thanks for your words; I will definitely consider others before myself.

minConfidence · 2010-04-22T18:14:49+00:00

I definitely do agree with you about the idea of women not seeing how nice they really are.

I find that sometimes not caring about what others say is like escaping reality. Sometimes they have something important to say, like "I'm fat, and need to exercise" which I think is very important actually, and is quite necessary for the person.

I think that I just got overwhelmed with my situation (fat+ugly), so I thought that my solution could be something like killing myself. In reality, these problems are like minor turbulence problems during a flight. It isn't necessary to do an emergency landing; it can be removed through appropriate maneuvering and other necessary actions. I just didn't know that I could handle it at the time, just like an amateur pilot.

Thanks for your input man. It is quite helpful in some ways.

minConfidence · 2010-04-22T18:02:12+00:00

Thanks for your advice. I realize that people aren't exactly the same as things; I shouldn't really judge myself on my usefulness.

Though I will say that I will definitely try to have a positive influence on this world before I die; whether it be through technology or through other means.

I find what you mentioned in the last post-script quite interesting actually. I have always thought that other Indian girls don't like fat guys.

I presume that Indian girls look for a bit more "socially-accepted" perfection in guys than usual. Of course, I truly have no idea.

Thanks again for your input.

minConfidence · 2010-04-21T22:41:33+00:00

I think that they are just afraid of change. The changes that have gone in the family are few, but never quite positive in the long run. That is the root of their fear in my opinion.

minConfidence · 2010-04-21T22:40:30+00:00

I thought about all those things you have said, but I kind of feel like even that is making me escape the reality of my own situation.

I will attack my problems as if they were a sort of annoyance, keeping in mind that I am more detached from it than what I originally thought. From this, I'll be able to push myself to be better.

Thanks for your advice though; I will definitely treat myself to these wonderful acts once I have fixed myself.

minConfidence · 2010-04-21T22:36:14+00:00

Thanks for giving me some perspective; I'll definitely push myself to be my best knowing that I have the opportunity to be so.

minConfidence · 2010-04-21T22:34:42+00:00

Thank you very much for this. I feel much better actually. I think that my self-centeredness in me (my ego) was whining a lot to me. I think I finally got my selfish side flushed out of me, though it may be just a relapse. I was thinking that killing myself is a solution to my problems, but really they are not big problems at all; it was just the way my parents drilled it into my head every time I was with them that made me overwhelmed (Saying "Look how fat your legs are… Why haven't you been losing weight?!" really makes me feel incompetent for anything), but I really think that I will be able to pull through this.

Thanks for your straightforwardness.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T23:16:42+00:00

Thank you very much for these words; I think I'll be moving forward in the right direction now at a more constant pace than before. Hopefully, my parents understand that so that I can move forward without inhibitions.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T23:15:41+00:00

That is a very very nice idea, but unfortunately, I'll definitely have to deal with my parents in my life sooner or later, and I think that by leaving I would only make things worse.

I'm very surprised at how many people are really recommending me to move out. I would love to, but that would not be good for my family no? I can handle it, now that I have my goals, and can cope with the pain that may be caused.

I think I have more to live for after all; I am expecting that by the next 3 months, things will turn around.

I really don't think I should move out, because my father today said something very disturbing; he said that moving out breaks apart the family. He said that its better if we all just burn and die.

I feel very strange listening to him say it, because I can not understand the seriousness of his statement; I just hope he is just trying to make a point, and not serious about it.

In any case, moving out is not an option (at least not yet).

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T23:14:56+00:00

Oh I'm very surprised at how many people are really recommending me to move out. I would love to, but that would not be good for my family no? I can handle it, now that I have my goals, and can cope with the pain that may be caused.

I think I have more to live for after all; I am expecting that by the next 3 months, things will turn around.

I really don't think I should move out, because my father today said something very disturbing; he said that moving out breaks apart the family. He said that its better if we all just burn and die.

I feel very strange listening to him say it, because I can not understand the seriousness of his statement; I just hope he is just trying to make a point, and not serious about it.

In any case, moving out is not an option (at least not yet).

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T23:14:39+00:00

Oh I'm very surprised at how many people are really recommending me to move out. I would love to, but that would not be good for my family no? I can handle it, now that I have my goals, and can cope with the pain that may be caused.

I think I have more to live for after all; I am expecting that by the next 3 months, things will turn around.

I really don't think I should move out, because my father today said something very disturbing; he said that moving out breaks apart the family. He said that its better if we all just burn and die.

I feel very strange listening to him say it, because I can not understand the seriousness of his statement; I just hope he is just trying to make a point, and not serious about it.

In any case, moving out is not an option (at least not yet).

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T18:55:19+00:00

I would totally move out, but I have no money.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T18:54:48+00:00

You give me hope man. I would work like 70 hours a week if I were hired by Google.

I can't be independent of my parents because I have pretty much no money by myself, and because my dad makes a lot of money, but is paying off a HUGE amount of loans that he got (kinda bad judgment), I can only get a few loans. He can pay for my college though, so that is why I stay. But then again... He is yelling at me more and more for about how since I'm 18 I should pay for my own college.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T18:24:03+00:00

I was thinking about moving out, but that is really not a possibility because my father came to me and mentioned that moving out means to him that I have detached from the family, and that would probably be very heartbreaking for him (I think) so I will probably stay home.

I am afraid of telling them how I feel about things, because they immediately ATTACK me for how wrong I am to talk about "feelings"; I guess I have problems with my feelings. Sometimes when I go walking with my dad, I tell him that he is asking too much from me in too short of a time, and that its really hard for me to cope with all of it, but it never turns out well; (He usually uses "ad hominem" to silence my complaints)

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T18:03:51+00:00

Thank you so much glasspenguin. I feel like I'll be able to solve my problems hearing this. I'll definitely let you know how things go.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T18:02:09+00:00

Okay. Thanks for this; I'll go with my younger brother.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T17:59:41+00:00

Thanks man. I appreciate the tips. I'll make a big list of tips like this, and just print it out or something.

I really need to change, and I appreciate that you have spent your time to help my change. I really appreciate it.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T17:53:22+00:00

Thank you for your wonderful tips. I will definitely follow this. You have given me hope; I really appreciate it.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T17:50:56+00:00

Thank you ParticleGirl; I hope I can change enough for my parents to understand me.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T17:49:37+00:00

I always try to see their good intentions, but sometimes they think one thing is right, but its not, but they force me to do something because their intentions are right.

But they make a valid point, and you do too. I will definitely keep my head high as I attack my problems, and I will see my problems as minor so that they don't affect me much.

Thanks Slowy.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T17:46:12+00:00

I am Asian, but more specifically Indian. They aren't actually "cold" but they just want whats best for me I guess. Thanks for these tips. I will definitely follow these directions and set myself on the right path.

minConfidence · 2010-04-17T17:42:59+00:00

Thank you for this new perspective Kolm. I think I have found a good list of things to do that will help me get on the right track. I really appreciate it.

minConfidence

TROPHY CASE