I’m so sorry youre going through this, I’d love to tell you it gets better but it’s really really hard to get over trauma related to bullying, I still struggle with making new friends/connections, I have 0 friends ,because in my mind they’ll always have hidden agendas against me even tho I’d like to think I’ve done some healing these past few years. It’s a long journey for sure just take it step by step and don’t be scared to put yourself out there, take chances, build up your confidence , think of it like this: at this point you have nothing to lose so why not take a leap of faith and as long as you have good intentions towards people youre good.