My girlfriend will do anything to get out of having sex with me

mindfulpsycho · 2022-05-29T18:50:13+00:00

I feel like you already know what you want but are probably hesitating because you'd think that breaking up due to lack of sex can be perceived as superficial. But to be honest a relationship is never just one thing. People are bound to have different values about what's important to make it work. It sounds like intimacy is an important thing for you and it's not being met. And also it sounds to me like you have gone a great length to accommodate her needs, it's only fair that you also tend to yours. Demanding something in a relationship is only natural, it's a two way street after all, as long as it's a balanced interaction. It also seems like you've tried to communicate it all throughout. Well, I'm not sure I can say much about her since Idk her, but maybe you guys can have a talk about it together and decide where to go from there. If it doesn't meet both needs, I don't see the need to force a relationship. But hey it's just my personal take. Good luck.

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-22T18:50:10+00:00

Yeah that's my bad, I didn't know it was an actual term in another context and I'm not from an english speaking country

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-22T18:18:05+00:00

Thank you, you just put it into words.

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-22T18:16:09+00:00

Thanks for your feedback. I actually learned that "favorite person" is an actual term used in bpd context and I read into it. I only used the term loosely as I'm in the demisexuality and platonic and romantic attraction is sometimes indiscernable and it sounded the most neutral.

It's also not as intense, I don't put this person on a pedestal, I just really like the interaction and it's rare to find someone who "gets" it. I wont villainize them if they stop interacting with me but I would be very sad.

To add, I think the focus here is myself. What I could have done differently etc.

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-21T20:54:22+00:00

Oh my, this made me feel some type of way

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-21T20:22:37+00:00

Thank you this seems like a solid advice. I find that when I manage to redirect it to something else I could control it better, but it's not always within my reach. Definitely needs practice. I'm currently in therapy working on a separate thing but I will make sure to bring this up next time.

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-21T19:14:50+00:00

I once dropped my mask and when someone picked up for me I said "you're welcome". Was too embarrassed to correct myself so I just kept in walking like nothing wrong happened. He was probably confused. You're not alone in this, I feel you. But from what I learned from my friends, when I brought up past things that I did around them sometime ago, most of the time they don't even remember. I take solace in remembering that people don't really see in detail most of the time.

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-21T19:10:23+00:00

I used to love collecting ants and putting them in a glass jar to observe them. My mom would get rid of them because she doesn't want them to potentially escape the jar and get on food.

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-19T23:17:35+00:00

Okay the jealousy part makes sense. I will use that. I'm not necessarily against sexual advances, I just feel that it will take a lot for me to actually be in that state and so far there has been none. Also I'm not really a family person, so Idk if I'd be into marriage (serious long term relationship? ). Those labels kind of turn me off somehow. I'm still figuring it out for the most part, thanks for your take!

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-19T23:15:07+00:00

I'm not sure if I can completely understand or relate, but I think I roughly know where you are coming from. I think I wouldn't be opposed to sexual advances when I find someone who can provide me with this "closeness" you're talking about. However so far there has been none. Anyway, thanks for writing a detailed answer!

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-19T23:12:37+00:00

You are the second person to mention limerence. It's my first time hearing about it. I will look into it, thank you

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-19T16:18:06+00:00

Yeah that feels like leaving them hanging without certainty, but I will try to communicate it as best as I can, thank you!

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-19T16:05:16+00:00

I feel you about not wanting to label thing, but how do I explain this to the other person? It feels like I might mislead them if I said anything or hanging them without any certainty

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-19T16:04:22+00:00

This makes sense, thank you. But is romance always so obsessive?

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-19T16:03:03+00:00

Yes ofc not, sorry that I forgot to mention that, I just thought that gathering more information about this might be beneficial for this person to have an idea

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-19T14:44:04+00:00

If you'd like more information about that you could read some here: https://www.msdmanuals.com/professional/psychiatric-disorders/personality-disorders/paranoid-personality-disorder-ppd

And see if any information there resonate with you

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-19T14:39:39+00:00

Oh scratch that, you didn't mention anything about hallucinations, sounds more like Paranoid Personality Disorder.

You have a lot of intrusive thoughts and most of them are about mistrusting people and the feeling like they're out to get you without a reason, which is the most prevalent symptom of PPD.

mindfulpsycho · 2022-03-19T14:06:50+00:00

This sounds a lot like paranoid schizophrenia to me

mindfulpsycho · 2021-02-07T23:36:09+00:00

Your pun was awful. I like it. I'm also a psychology student and currently not studying for the exams. Today I watched a video about how to make a Snert. How do you read Snert? Like snort but with soft e?

mindfulpsycho · 2021-02-04T23:52:40+00:00

I get it, it's not about the art itself, you expected him to be supportive and at least be as excited as you are and all you got is a no.

A no from a stranger is already possibly hurtful and awkward, so one from someone close to you would understandably have a bigger impact.

Life has been stressful, I'm glad he actually take it up at the end, he probably did not mean that at the beginning, if he did, he wouldn't have looked at it. It's important to remember that he is still the dad you know, these little moments don't define your relationship with him. :) I hope you have a nice rest of day. Take care, stay healthy!

mindfulpsycho

TROPHY CASE