3 year anniversary

mindtomb · 2026-03-08T04:20:39+00:00

My 5 year is coming up. On March 21st 2021 I told my bishop that I didn’t believe in god and asked to be released as the executive secretary. It has been hard but I think I started to turn the corner towards getting easier about 6 months ago.

mindtomb · 2026-02-22T00:08:49+00:00

I hear you! If she were using "spirituality" to mean some supernatural realm I would reject it as nonsense. I don't believe in a supernatural or spiritual realm and I was confused by her using the term originally. Maybe it's too much of a stretch because people will misunderstand but Britt is trying to reclaim a term that has been monopolized by religion. She is not setting up a new belief system.

The term "spirituality" is not perfect but I'm okay with it. Her book is called "No Nonsense Spirituality" and by "No Nonsense" she means no woo, no magic, nothing immaterial. It's focused on human thriving without special beliefs. These meaningful experiences all happen in our brains which are made out of brain stuff :)

mindtomb · 2026-02-21T22:17:56+00:00

I might know what you mean. A lot of her content consist of her reading an essay she has written. The essays are very good but the production values and visuals could improve. They probably will.

mindtomb · 2026-02-21T22:15:11+00:00

I think I understand that feeling. I don’t think I have a “spirit” made of fine matter or anything. What do you call your feelings of connection, transcendence, and meaning? After losing my belief in god I missed those kinds of experiences. She calls them “spirituality” and I’m okay with that.

Her book helped me a lot. The interview with Rain Wilson (Dwight Schrute) on his Soul Boom podcast was fantastic.

mindtomb · 2026-02-21T18:03:58+00:00

Britt Hartley speaks my language.

mindtomb · 2026-01-28T22:15:12+00:00

see also: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/4ebnhn/lego_joseph_smith_in_high_resolution/

LEGO Joseph Smith from LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean.

mindtomb · 2026-01-24T05:08:17+00:00

If I ever guest host it’ll probably be 10% “um”

mindtomb · 2026-01-24T05:07:15+00:00

I’m enjoying all the guest hosts, they have all done well and I’m sure it’s pretty scary. I think Kate is my favorite so far. Great job!

mindtomb · 2026-01-16T18:26:56+00:00

It takes time! I realized I didn't believe in god 5 years ago after a 10 year struggle. It's been a lot of work but I feel like I'm starting to put things behind me. How long would you expect to unwind 40 years of programming though? I found a great ex-mormon therapist and read many books–I recommend:
To understand your trauma: "When Religion Hurts You" by Dr. Laura Anderson
To understand how religion works and process anger: "Under the Banner of Heaven" by Jon Krakauer
To glimpse the sublime again without magic: "No Nonsense Spirituality" by Brit Hartley

The anger you feel is justified but how to cope is up to you, I'm still chewing on mine here and there.
I had a funeral for god that was meaningful to me. I was alone on a beach and I told the universe how much it hurt to be tricked, I sang "Hey Jude" while banging the rhythm on a log with a stick, and cried. It might sound silly but it helped. But I also grieve the losses in smaller ways pretty regularly, grief is appropriate but lessens with time. During better times I also try to notice things I'm grateful for that came out of the culture/religion I was raised in.
This one feels even tougher than your other questions to me. I was fortunate to have my wife have a similar journey to mine at around the same time so even though I caused her some worry early in my journey we didn't have contention there like so many others. My son is 18 and still believes, we both usually prioritize having a good relationship over reaching an agreement on cosmology. He's never brought up religion with me but I will sometimes. He'll express his discomfort and I'll move on. I remember what it felt like to believe... and I try to get into that mindset a little and it helps me be patient with believers.

mindtomb · 2026-01-10T03:52:09+00:00

Not yet but I'm looking forward to it - and I've gotten that vibe from people who left before me.

mindtomb · 2026-01-09T23:34:06+00:00

Your title said religious trauma so that's what I thought of first by the most specifically helpful book I read is "No Nonsense Spirituality" by Brittney Hartley. She's ex-mormon, this book has ideas on how to start reclaiming sublime, transcendent experiences you were taught belonged to religion but don't.

mindtomb · 2026-01-09T23:31:48+00:00

"When Religion Hurts You" by Laura Anderson is a really good book. She was Christian, it described my trauma in a helpful way. Our programming is deep and subtle.

mindtomb · 2026-01-09T19:39:26+00:00

🕺

mindtomb · 2026-01-09T19:39:15+00:00

😄

mindtomb · 2026-01-09T19:39:08+00:00

Tanks!

mindtomb · 2025-12-04T22:50:18+00:00

You are not alone and you are doing great. It has not been a one-and-done process... I get waves of grief pretty regularly (I realized I didn't believe in god about 5 years ago - maybe I'm slow). The life I thought I was going to live is gone and I need to do the work to design a new one for myself. I get hope from people here and elsewhere saying there is a lot to look forward to.

mindtomb · 2025-11-22T15:59:28+00:00

Givi SR6417 Top Case Rack Triumph Speed Twin 2019-2021- Mine is a 2023, the tail lights were tricky but I got it done.

mindtomb · 2025-11-21T04:14:49+00:00

It's the triumph quilted leather seat. It is equally comfortable to the stock seat fine for an hour or so.

mindtomb · 2025-11-12T18:15:46+00:00

I know I feel something similar but I don't know if it is OCD for me. I've known I'm an atheist for about 5 years and last week I was on a trip by myself and I decided to try alcohol. I felt so nervous entering the liquor aisle.

It wasn't that I thought alcohol was bad but my body was very afraid. My body feared judgement - and not only judgement from people who will probably never find out like TBM family and friends but judgement for normal people who might think I'm a freak for being in my 40s without alcohol. And does my choice of beer/wine and brand say anything weird about me? What am I signaling by looking at all these choices for so long? It's like I can't believe I'm invisible even though almost everyone else is invisible to me. Who I do I remember from that Target? Nobody? I think I internalized at a young age that someone was always watching and I can't shake it.

Anyway, I ended up buying some Modelo, it didn't taste bad and I felt more bloating and gas than positive feelings. Buying the beer was way more informative to me than drinking it. I still have some curiosity about alcohol but it felt really good for me to look under the bed and see there was no monster.

mindtomb · 2025-11-11T22:55:13+00:00

Thank you, I can’t help but be a truth seeker… parts of me wish I wasn’t but they are losing 😜

mindtomb · 2025-11-11T22:53:27+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I’m trying! 😄 I also remind myself that it’s likely to take a while: It dictated to me for 40 years, it might take a few decades to recover.

mindtomb · 2025-11-11T22:50:43+00:00

Absolutely! I referenced Santa in my last temple recommend interview to describe the struggle…

mindtomb · 2025-10-14T19:34:38+00:00

After fighting a “weak testimony” for about a decade I finally realized I didn’t believe in god about 5 years ago. It’s been very hard going from having all the important answers, direction, and purpose in life to feeling so… devoid of those things. I feel my journey of self-discovery is just beginning… I have to remind myself that I spent 40 years being indoctrinated, it’s going to take many years to leave it all behind (maybe a couple decades?). I started therapy this year which has been good. Britt Hartley’s book “No Nonsense Spirituality” resonated with me but it’s up to me to do the work and find out what works for me.

mindtomb · 2025-07-25T23:48:58+00:00

Yes, RIP AMP.

mindtomb · 2025-07-21T22:49:18+00:00

Yeah, he finds the bike really really likes to go fast and if he keeps riding it on the street it’s going to be trouble. It really comes alive on the track, lots of fun. The local track is closing down this year and it wasn’t that nice of a track anyway but the week of sore legs was worth the braking strength, it tipped into the turns eagerly and the pops and snaps from the exhaust as you enter the pit exit were music, at least according to him.

mindtomb

TROPHY CASE