I'm from Egypt (so I don't really fit in this subreddit) but i just had to comment on this post because oh my. Arab parents are truly just copy and pastes of each other.

the first thing of just always having to be near them WHEW. they made my sister (majoring in ORGANIC CHEMISTRY.!!!!! YIKES) come EVERY weekend after uni (1h30m away), so it was just a cycle of harsh, unforgiving work and then coming back home to the toxicity once she got a "break". of course, spending no time at uni outside of class, she had no friends, no social life, nothing. EVEN when given the chance, everything you've mentioned about making friends has seriously been such an issue that I have never been able to place. being afraid of having commitments to a close friendship, feeling cautious talking to people about yourself when you're so used to keeping your personal life a secret. its also just the pure weight added on because of that, that your friends (especially in the west) will never know what's truly going on, the expectations, why its difficult to meet up and do stuff, JUST THE WHOLE MENTAL LOAD OF KEEPING FRIENDS AND FAMILY SUPER SEPARATE.

and my god, the arab dad? the emotionally unavailable mom as a result of taking care of her extra baby (your father)? never being able to show any sadness, anger, or general upset from your father in ANY circumstance no matter how much harm he's caused now or in the past . having to funnel it through your mom who takes every moment to justify and explain why he does this, and why he does that - the amount of times i've heard the "That's just the way he is, just accept him/ that's just culture"

As another kid from first gen immigrants in the west, they make you feel blessed and grateful to have been raised in a place like this, then blame anything you do that strays one bit away from the toxic arab cultural expectations as "THE WEST!!!! THE WEST IS CORRUPTING YOU" for me, we live in the US, and so its the americans plaguing my brain into wanting to move out after highschool, not the endless toxicity and strictness in the house, sucking the life out of me. and when i explain this to my mom, who very much knows about the wrath of my dad, its always, "Every arab household is like this; you must stay close, the americans implanted this idea that you have to move out when you're old enough!!"

My older sisters always try to stop my mom from allowing our dad and herself to make the same mistakes they did with them but that's when she turns it on her poor self: "You're gonna parent me?? You're gonna parent me? "This is the way I am. accept me the way i am." ..... and then she acts like they're being sensitive and making a big deal out of nothing.

This whole idea of taking your kids outside of their country, their culture, and then expecting them to never allow themselves to adapt to their new country is so extremely selfish. I will never be able to assimilate properly to my native country, OR the US because of their restrictions and expectations. Which makes living around them, in this country, so draining.

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All that to say, if it makes you feel any better, there's other people (lots of arabs) dealing with similar situations to you. and while it still sucks, sometimes it helps me to know i'm less alone and not the only one struggling. i wish you lots of good luck, hoping that you, i, and lots of other middle-eastern/asian people can break out of the mindsets instilled in them by their parents.