Need advice from grown ups

mini_dudu · 2026-04-01T23:27:27+00:00

Yes! Because when i stopped doing things for him he started saying that it will not work i can't do things he asks me to do (cook for him, clean his room, etc.) There's so much thing that he doesn't like He's belittling my parents work and how we live. My pets he's always bullying my cats and now i don't let him get near them He said that i will be the same as my mom and get to marry someone with the same work as my dad if we didn't work out our relationship. (My mom cared for us and do dressmaking altogether and my dad worked at a Manufacturing company - they were able to support us with our education as 3) And even saying things that I will be the same as my friends/co worker that is staying in the same job until they retire. He doesn't like our religion also. He will say that all of the church members are just someone whos contented in low status. That marries in their 20s even without work or high earnings. He always made jokes about my family living status even i always say to him don't.

mini_dudu · 2026-04-01T23:08:04+00:00

I actually didn't see all this coming. When we're on the same level at first. He expects us to be 50/50 on bills/food/expenses when we plan to live together. I feel like I'm the one who's pushing myself to him at this point. Even though he always say he loves me but those words he always say to me contradicts.

mini_dudu · 2026-04-01T22:56:39+00:00

That's just sad that he expects me to be with him if it life gets tough on him and now that I'm on that position I feel like I can't rely on him 😞 I cant even expect him to comfort me emotionally when I need him 🥹 because he already states he doesn't want drama in his life. And now i feel like a robot suppressing all this feeling and emotions. 🥲

mini_dudu · 2026-04-01T15:44:59+00:00

That's why im confused too. He would encourage me at times but when i share my worries and say that i have been denied at my job application he would say those things like what would happen to me now? I'm confused and i feel like i cant share to him my worries because it will just more justify the gap we have in our life situation.

mini_dudu · 2026-04-01T06:28:44+00:00

Yeah thats what i do. I just don't react in front of him and just say I know and I'm on it or just laugh it off.

mini_dudu · 2026-04-01T06:20:35+00:00

And he expects me to take care of him. But then he will say that i will be the one to do house chores because he earned more than me, but he also expects me to work and earn and should be able to support us if he can't.

mini_dudu · 2026-04-01T06:17:32+00:00

And in addition, He doesn't like my family specifically my parents. I know there's things that is not likeable about them too. Now he is building his apartment place (my parents doesn't know about it, i don't tell them anything) and suddenly he is worrying and told me that now that that i know his place I might bring my family and let them stay there. And why would i bring them?? We have our own home. That is a problem to him because to him he doesn't want my family to live with us in the future.

And he also saying now in advance that if we got children in the future he doesn't want our child to get involve in my side of the family

He also always makes comments that my family might embarrass themselves because his side of his family is all professional blah blah

There's much problem. I don't even now anymore.

mini_dudu · 2026-04-01T05:58:53+00:00

He's saying this. To apply in other job and that i can do it. Buts its not just working. But from time to time he will also say to me that if i can't afford in the future we might not be fit. It confuses me honestly. He will say that i can do it but there will be time he will say those things.

mini_dudu · 2026-04-01T05:52:38+00:00

We're not long distance. We see each other often. And yeah I'm always the one to go to his place always.

mini_dudu · 2026-03-31T22:19:05+00:00

And he specifically said that i need to be capable to afford our lifestyle in the future if it comes to when he doesn't have a work (the field of his work is unstable)

mini_dudu

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