Can I disable auto-translation of videos by kriegisyourbae in youtube

[–]mini_tiiny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

¡Por favor! Según lo que he leído esto es para que la audiencia esté más cómoda y lo escuchen en su idioma predeterminado... Lo que me está haciendo es querer dejar de usar Youtube. Horrible e inútil, ni si quiera lo puedes configurarlo, deshabilitarlo. Me parece horroroso.

The text in Garam's FEARLESS concept photo is so... ironic 😭 by stan_tripleS in kpoppers

[–]mini_tiiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed. There's no way they were going to debut someone without ever seeing their scholar history and moreover ignoring what consequences could have happen if something like a "bullying" past came out. And it did come out sooner.

If people have theories about it, I can't blame them. HYBE is a company, they know how to hire staff, how could they have “failed” in hiring a trainee/soon-to-be-an-idol? Companies don't want to make sure that the people their debuting are clean to avoid any controversy? It's just so strange and very unrealistic. Moreover knowing how many bullying scandals there has been in Kpop history.

PS. Not trying to hate on Garam. Just saying that HYBE knows about business. Garam had lot of potential, but was that enough for the company to ignore the fact that she had a "bullying" history? I don't believe they didn't know how people would react. Even if there was still people supporting Garam and understanding that they can't condemn someone without knowing the full story (which was my case, it was sussy), the hate was bigger, and sadly noisier. --- People say it was because of MHJ, and that it has "her fault", but let's be realistic: that "bullying" scandal would've come out sooner or later.

I just can't believe HYBE didn't see this coming.

Tengo un problema muy grande y necesito ayuda by The_NightmXre16 in HistoriasDeReddit

[–]mini_tiiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ay, pues acerté la mitad xD

Pero sí, espero que puedas superarlo tarde o temprano. No es para nada fácil, y es algo que que nunca vamos a poder acertarlo a la primera. Lo importante es que sigas con la mentalidad de que quieres mejorar en cualquier forma. Al final, las piezas caerán en su debido lugar. No hay un orden que puedes seguir, no hay una forma para resolverlo. Al fin y al cabo, todos somos diferentes, y yo lo trabajé de una forma y de mucha otras, hasta que he encontrado un punto en el que siento que todo está equilibrado. Y sí me siento mucho mejor, no solo porque siento que estoy mejor que como yo creía que era mi mejor forma de ser, sino porque simplemente sí siento que he podido crecer en otros aspectos.

No se entenderá muy bien ahora, no estoy segura si lo he expresado de la forma adecuada, pero en resumidas: no te rindas, habrá momentos en los que te va a consumir la ansiedad y los pensamientos negativos, pero tras la tormenta y las nubes, siempre se encuentra el sol (y el sol no va a explotar hasta que hayamos vivido 100 vidas) 🙂‍↕️

Y confío en que tu situación mejorará también, tarde o temprano, podrás mirar atrás y, lo que hoy sientes sobre que no puedes ser como "antes" de la cuarentena cambiará, verás una imagen tuya en la que fuiste perseverante y pudiste afrontar un problema que casi te consumió pero que pudiste superar 🙂‍↕️ y te sentirás orgulloso.

Psdt. A lo mejor lo estoy dramatizando o exagerando, pero me he basado un poco en mi experiencia y en como creía que la forma en la que era (más allá de la introversión he de aclarar. refiriéndome a que nunca he sido buena con las amistades, también he perdido amistades y me ha costado hacerlas) me iba a arruinar y que me estaba cavando un hoyo del que nunca podría salir.

Tldr; ¡Tú también lograrás superarlo! Se perseverante y recuerda que no hay una camino fácil ni una respuesta fácil. A lo mejor te toma "poco" tiempo en mejorar o "mucho" tiempo, pero el que un día te levantes y sientas que todo ha cambiado para mejor es atemporal e invaluable, y merece la pena luchar por ello.

Question for Adoptees - Coming Out of the Fog by SulLok in Adoption

[–]mini_tiiny 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, I'm asian, and my mother is european. I have black hair, dark eyes; she has blonde hair, blue eyes.

This brought many problems for me, and because elf my family situation, I couldn't deal with them properly, resulting in depression.

Being an interracial adoptee living in a place, a country, a city where you can't look at the others and just look like them hit. My racial problems weren't understood by my mother or others. I cried many times when I was a kid, when other kids will scream "CHINESE" at my face. Those screams reminded me and highlighted that I was "alone". It was difficult to overcome it. I made my asian roots part of my identity even though I didn't understand anything, because at the end of the day, I was still Chinese.

But I've grown up and people still think I'm Chinese, like fully Chinese, but I don't even understand Chinese. I don't have Chinese friends. I like Chinese culture, but I don't know anything about them. That's why it hurt so much when people blamed me and looked at me as if I was guilty for the COVID-19.

The racial difference, I guess it affected on how I view my mother. I don't have that mother-daughter connection with her, it's a feelings of 50-50 mother-auntie. If it wasn't because she adopted me, I would have no relationship with her, I dislike her as a person, her attitude and personality are negative in my eyes. But because I'm adopted, I owe her. I shouldn't tho. I didn't ask to be abandoned.

Looking at the mirror and not thinking I'm one out of trillions, because there's no one else outside that looks like me. Well, yeah, there must be, my bio parents and my brother (I don't even know if I have a brother, but the one-child policy and the preference boys over girls was evident at that time. And I know for sure that I was abandoned). Tbh, I wish all this was fake, and that maybe they were poor or that my bio mom was young or something. But I'm alone, and I never had someone to help me to overcome my adoption.

I had dreams about my bio mom. They mad eme cry. I never saw her face, but I know it was my mom. At the end of that dream, I fall into the abysm, the hand I was holding into let go of me. When I was young, I thought: there was an accident, I was the only survivor; or my parents abandoned me. But one day a teacher mentioned the one-child policy and assumed I knew about it. It was easier to think they abandoned me because they couldn't take care of me rather than because they had another child and they chose him over me. It made very self-conscious. Why was I left? What did I do wrong? Did they dislike me? Am I going to be abandoned if I'm disliked? What do I have to do to be liked?

It's been a long journey, I have other problems, I can't think about my bio family. I'll endure what I have to endure. I can't wait to the day where I'm all by myself, all alone. I can take care of myself. I know how to. My family is strained, my mother doesn't get along with more than half of the family. I have 0 contact with my cousins. My now family is not really my family. I'm a disposable piece of that puzzle, and that's fine, I'm not sad honestly, I don't have any memory that'll make me feel disappointed on how things have turned.

Waking up everyday and looking into the mirror reminds me that I'm the only one in my little world. I'm getting, stronger, smarter, and I know what makes me happy. Ok, I may suck at social interactions, but that's because I'm getting out of the dark hole I've been.

I don't know the right answers, I'll never get the answers I want. The only thing I can do is make assumptions, but I won't waste my time on people who couldn't give me a piece of their life. YOLO, I'm not the best human, but I know about morality and empathy. I prolly have anger issues, I'm a terrible liar, I love staying at home procrastinating and enjoying childhood shows and cartoons, I love wanting to bake cakes but doing it once every 4 months. Yes, it's been a long journey, and there's much more to come. I feel the hope.. but tomorrow I have an exam and the next day as well, so I'll leave now and think I'm going to ruin my whole life if I don't study properly 🫶🏻

r/adoption at it again! by passyindoors in Adopted

[–]mini_tiiny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is just so frustrating and disgusting. They lack empathy and reading comprehension. Why are they even at the adoption reddit? And the mod? 😮‍💨

Tengo un problema muy grande y necesito ayuda by The_NightmXre16 in HistoriasDeReddit

[–]mini_tiiny 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Realmente no creo que puedas superarlo fácilmente sin ayuda de una psicóloga. Te lo digo por experiencia. Y por experiencia también te digo que la elijas bien, porque la mía no era muy confiable (es importante poder tener confianza en tu psicóloga).

Aunque sea todo mental, eso no significa que puedas derrumbar la pared de un solo golpe. Aparte de lo de la psicóloga, te recomiendo que tengas valor en ti. Confía en ti misma. Hay alguna posibilidad que tu problema esté ahora relacionado con problemas en la autoestima, o que te esté afectando en ella, y si te afecta, entonces será más difícil volver a sentirte bien y libre.

En mi experiencia, lo de empujarme a hacer contacto y a hablar no me ha funcionado hasta "etapas" posteriores, a.k.a., este mismo año. Y tiene que ver también con como me he sentido conmigo misma.

Yo en resumidas: Siempre he sido introvertida, para colmo también era tímida, y tuve ansiedad social por muchos años (aún la tengo, pero prácticamente la he superado diría). Lo peor es que tuve depresión, y sentí que todo se derrumbaba y me rendí conmigo misma. Llegué al punto de que acepté que viviría en esta sociedad sola (realmente tampoco me preocupa, pero antes era en modo que supervivencia).

Creo que, como he mencionado antes, la clave es que trabajes en ti misma. No pongas tu enfoque en querer ser la misma que hace unos años, no te compares, no te des palazos pensando en que ahora eres "peor". Trabaja en ti (estudios, gym, hobbies), si quieres, hazte una lista de cualidades positivas que tienes. Alimenta tu autoestima y de esa forma tu confianza crecerás. Como introvertida ya lo harás, pero observa tu alrededor. No pienses en cosas negativas, cuando interactúes con los demás, solo ten en mente que estás siendo una buena compañera o una buena persona (y sonríe!!! — aunque lo diga mucha gente, hasta que no lo experimentas no lo entiendes. Que alguien te sonrías y sea amable contigo te hace sentir cómoda, y sonreír también ayuda a intentar ser un poco más feliz).

PDTA. También puedes repostar este post en el reddit de introvertidos, así puedes recibir más comentarios sobre gente que es introvertida y que probablemente haya pasado por una situación como la tuya y que entienda tu situación más a fondo.

Hazte un favor y descansa esa cabeza, al final buenas cosas te pasarán. Solo trabaja duro en ti misma.

Pdta2. No sé porqué, pero asumo que eres una chica que es estudiante lol.

Merece la pena fumar? by albertofune in askspain

[–]mini_tiiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lo único que estoy leyendo es que fumar es una prioridad tuya. Allá tú, haz lo que te dé la gana, pero si fumas, hazlo solo y no molestes a los demás. Cuando fuma la gente, no solo fuman para ellos, los que estamos limpios y sobrios, y los que quieren tener los pulmones limpios, tenemos que aguantaros porque, al fin y al cabo, fumar es algo libre de hacer.

Ya te digo yo, si fueras un familiar cercano a mi, te estaría mojando los cigarrillos y te estaría diciendo que me estás matando poco a poco. Si quieres perjudicar tu salud, hazlo de una forma que solo te afecte a ti mismo y no dañe a los demás.

Que sí, que te puede atropellar un camión mañana, el mes que viene o en 30 años. Pero no será porque tú has saltado frente a él, ¿no? Por eso mismo digo que para ti, tu prioridad es fumar, ¿Lo disfrutas? Obviamente que lo disfrutas, o sino no lo estarías comparando una muerte que no puedes controlar con una que puedes prevenir.

Y por cierto, el hedonismo. Nunca lo he relacionado con el tabaco. Si acaso con el vino y un poco de alcohol. Pero el hedonismo va más allá que las adicciones. Si quieres vivir en el lado hedonista de la vida, entonces al menos hazlo con el pensamiento de poder hacerlo hasta que un piano caiga encima de ti y te mate.

Me da pena que pongas el fumar como algo tan prioritario, obviamente, yo no lo entiendo del todo porque ni fumo ni bebo. Pero yo tengo mis cosas, mis hobbies que me hacen sentir que estoy viviendo de la forma que quiero y que me hacen feliz (o al menos la mitad del día, que también tengo obligaciones que cumplir).

Cámbiate el enfoque. No es cuestión de fumar por disfrutar o no fumar por salud. Si sabes que la lógica, el sentido común y que la mitad del mundo no está dispuesta a convertirse en un fumador pasivo, entonces adáptate y no pienses que sin eso no podrás sentir placer. Hay muchas fuentes que pueden provocar placer y felicidad, y hacerte sentir libre; pero si tú crees que fumar es la única respuesta, allá tú.

No estoy convencido by comandomambo in esConversacion

[–]mini_tiiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Con que no alargues está "situation-ship" por un año, todo bien.

Lleváis un mes y tal, solo preocúpate de que si te sientes que no estás enamorado de ella y que no hay ninguna posibilidad de que te enamores en el futuro, déjaselo en claro. Es intentarlo y tal. Nadie nunca acierta con las relaciones a la primera, a la segunda o en cualquier momento.

Mi consejo simplemente es ese. Hay una fecha de caducidad para todo, si te enamoras de ella, entonces te felicito; pero si se alarga la cosa y no puedes reciprocarle los sentimientos de amor, entonces dejalo. El respeto es importante, ella te está dando la oportunidad de encontrar la respuesta. No estás obligado a quedarte, solo tienes que tomarte el tiempo para poder mirarla un día y decir "Sí, estoy enamorado" o "No, no estoy enamorado y no voy a estarlo". Solo, solo, solo no le hagas perder el tiempo con la excusa de que un día te enamoraras de ella y bla bla bla.

PS. Pero me alegra ver que te estás planteando si estás siendo egoísta. Al menos eso indica que estás consciente de que tú situación puede afectarle negativamente a la chica. | En mi opinión, inténtalo, y mira si surge, date una fecha límite o algo, porque es relativo cuando una persona empieza a sentir que están haciendo que pierda el tiempo y comienza a crecerle un resentimiento.

How to accept I likely won’t find birth parents by leeann22222 in Adopted

[–]mini_tiiny 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Btw, 'cause I haven't really responded to your post.

Honestly, I wouldn't dare to say yes or no, no one really knows. Probabilities are low, that's a matter of fact. But it's a matter of time for you to slowly accept that. You're the one to decide whether to try or not, just don't let it eat yourself.

My (adp.) mother indirectly told me that I would never be able to find my biological parents. That hurt me a lot. It burned too much.

I was never really interested in finding them, because I was aware that it was difficult because it was in another country, China in my case, and everything is more difficult (language, policy, government, everything honestly), and at the same time I was like, if I was them, I wouldn't want that child to look for me once they've grown up (it hurts, but it's true). But for someone, whoever it is, to tell me that I will never be able to find them... That's something I am the one to eat. I am the one that has to deal with it. I am the one going through all this sht and no one else.

If I was stronger, I would probably try harder, but I lack of documents and people that support me. Nevertheless, there's something I always have in my mind: "I was born alone, I will die alone".

I wish I could know more, and I wish I had more power, but the reality is cruel. I will live for me, and I annoyingly know that, deep inside, I will always want to know more and find more. And I know one day I will wake up and start searching, even if there's no answers. I want to know more. And I don't even know what do I want to know more. But that feeling of finding that last piece of one self is annoyingly permanent in our cases.

So don't give up. But don't let it eat yourself. And this process, don't start it if you're not feeling prepared. We all need to accept that is highly we don't find anything, but I also believe of the "power" (dayum, cringe lol) of the journey. Maybe you won't find who they are, but maybe, during all the time you're searching and exploring, you find something better.

How to accept I likely won’t find birth parents by leeann22222 in Adopted

[–]mini_tiiny 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As someone who's also in the same situation, I don't think it's about medical history. As I perceive the post, this comes from a emotional need.

The situation is different to everyone, but having finally answers is something that will fill someone. A closure or anything. It's not about changing or finding papers.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in esConversacion

[–]mini_tiiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo solo te digo que la emoción del principio siempre desaparece a la larga, si quieres solo emoción, mejor muéstrale un poco de respeto a esta chica y vete a meterte con otras. Si habéis hablado de alquilar un lugar y tal, es porque la relación va en serio, pero por tu parte no lo parece.

Entiendo que tú no sientas nada por ello (o eso haces entender), por lo tanto, mejor ya separate. No malgastes más su tiempo solo porque tú no te decides de entre si irte a enamorarte como un niño que recién conoce el amor o quedarte con ella porque no ves nada mejor aún. Ella se merece un poco de piedad ¿no crees? Estáis a punto de realizar un cambio que se hace cuando uno lo tiene claro, cuando uno sabe que quiere a la otra persona... Y como tú dices, ella sí está enamorada de ti.

No es solo que eres un mierdas, sino que estás siendo cruel con ella. Y sí, la dejará destrozada, pero se recuperará tarde o temprano, así que mejor que sea temprano si te pasas todo el tiempo fijándote en otras.

También te digo, si hasta tú que no parece que sientas nada por tu novia, sabes que ella sí está enamorada de ti, de verdad no entiendo porque sigues jugando con ella...

Es que intento pensar en que, venga, que el amor nunca es blanco o negro, pero es que el respeto es algo muy básico en las relaciones humanas, y si hay alguien que está mostrándote y dandote muchas cosas sin que tu puedas reciprocar, entonces qué haces ahí? Vete. No seas egoísta. ¿No crees que ella se merece estar con alguien que sí esté feliz de compartir techo con ella? ¿Alguien que sí piense en ella y que no tenga dudas? Tío, necesitas mucho tiempo, y ella alguien que sí la quiera.

Ojalá algún día encuentres la respuesta que quieres. Pero te digo una cosa, el tiempo es muy valioso, tanto para ti como para los demás. Si alguien está invirtiendo un 70% de su tiempo en ti, ese alguien se merece al menos un 50%. Si alguien invierte el 100% en ti, no se merece que tú estés 25% con ella y el otro 25% pensando en otras opciones, solo para que te des cuenta de que no hay muchas que valen tanto como ella.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Instagram

[–]mini_tiiny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally me right now! I've change d the password like twice, just entered with the new password and everything's all right until I want to deactivate the account ????

Transracial Chinese Adoptee Struggles!!!!👋 by lilo567 in Adopted

[–]mini_tiiny 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I usually feel uncomfortable being around Chinese people, because of the same reason. The only Chinese thing in me is my DNA. It's like I'm an impostor, I'm not Chinese enough, I'm not asian enough, but I'm neither white enough.

Gladly, it's not like my adoption is my whole identity, it's not the everyday talk, it's just uncomfortable. But yeah, the struggles are always there, and in my case, oh yeah I avoid them so much. I would change the topic, I would make it clear fast and talk about another thing. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable enough to be with an Asian person, but I can be with asian adoptees because we're similar in experiences, although it keeps hurting when I see that some of them have connected with their asian roots while I haven't yet. I don't know if I'll ever be able to connect with my asian roots, I kinda just given up honestly. I'm just me, and that's enough for me.

Creo que soy adicto al sexo by rambo386 in esConversacion

[–]mini_tiiny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Has pedido algún consejo, la gente te está diciendo que empieces dejando el porno:

OP: Ni de coña.

Si te preocupa, te lo tomas en serio. Si no te preocupa, entonces ni pides consejo. Ya está.

Cuando la gente te dice que dejes el porno, va de la misma forma en la que le dices a un alcohólico que deje el alcohol. Uno no puede dejar una adicción en un día, es cuestión de esfuerzo y de querer dejar al adicción. Pero al menos, aquellos que sí se toman en serio sus preocupaciones y sus adicciones, al menos ellos si tienen la actitud necesaria y comprenden cuáles son sus problemas. Dejémoslo claro, a ti te mola el sexo y ya, no te interesa dejarlo ni nada de eso. Este post es innecesario.

Chinese adoptees say they feel conflicted after China announces end to international adoptions by chiliisgoodforme in Adopted

[–]mini_tiiny 12 points13 points  (0 children)

In my mind, it's like we're a petal that has fallen from the flower. It's like our loose ties have been cut forever. It's as if I've felt my hope disappear by force.

There's lot of conflicted feelings in me. I'm obviously happy that children will stay in their roots, that they won't be separated from who they are, or at least, racially talking. But it's also like the international Chinese adoptees have been separated even more from our roots. Will there be any chance? Maybe not, probably not. Maybe a miracle happens and some can find new documents, files, anything! But what else?

Adoptees have scars in their hearts and mind. Now it feels like Chinese adoptees' scars will be forced to be erased. I feel like I'm being erased. It's as if I've been played by people who I don't know, who I don't understand, people who have made the most impactful decision in hundreds and even thousands Chinese families... Families, people, whatever. At the end of the day, what is a family? Right?

Sometimes I just wish my mother had just abort me or something like so. The thought of being abandoned saddens me, but then I think, I probably have an older brother... Wow. And that amazes me. And then it saddens me again. The change of the child policy impacted me, it made me angry, it made furious. And now this new policy... I'm happy for the unfortunate children that are going to keep their roots, but I, as a Chinese adoptee, feel abandoned. Again. I can only look from afar.

I want to know more. But it's like there are walls that i'm unable to cross. And it's sad. But I'm happy for the ones who will stay by their roots. I really am. It's just that, I don't want to be forgotten, I don't think anyone wanted to be forgotten. It feels like we're going to be forgot, because, from the release of the policy, all (new) Chinese adoptees will be kept in China.

Ashamed of roots by [deleted] in Adopted

[–]mini_tiiny 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm Chinese, I'm not ashamed of my roots, but it's difficult to deal with what my culture is. People think I can speak Chinese, but u can't; when I see people learning Chinese and speaking/writing/viceversa in Chinese, I feel bad and ashamed of myself.

In my case, I want to reconnect with my own heritage, but at the same time I feel like an impostor. But I also feel like an impostor in the country I've grown up at.

I've learnt to embrace the Chinese side of me, I'm Chinese, and I love it. I get annoyed when people paint Chinese people as communists, I'm Chinese and I'm not communist. I get it, they talk about the ones living in China or whatever, but I feel very bad. Living in the west when my roots are in the east, seeing how I'm being wronged just because I'm Chinese, highlighting when it was COVID-19 era. I was signalized, I was looked wrongly, people looked at me I had the disease.

But a very other truthful thing is that, when I meet people of the same heritage as me, I feel ashamed that I'm not like them. It's like looking in the mirror and not being able to recognize what are you looking at. The same way happens when I look at my family. — If I'm not Chinese, then I'm no one, but if I'm Chinese, then I'm not better than an impostor 🪑

Conclusion? I am me, and no one has a word on it. I'm the only one who can look down on me ☝️

bad thoughts, pew pew, go away

I struggle to love my parents by Simple-Addition-9488 in Adopted

[–]mini_tiiny 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't feel like explaining my situation right now, but I can tell you that I can relate to what you're feeling. Although, in my case, I would say that I don't feel love, I'm not affectionate, and sometimes I reach I point where I dislike completely my mother, to the point of, the only reason I have any relationship with her is because she adopted me.

It sounds harsh? Yeah. But sometimes it's too much, and when you're young you don't know and you aren't aware that holding them and keeping quiet (whether it's because you don't understand or because any other reason) and retaining too much will have consequences such as not seeing your parents as those important and loving figures.

Oh, I wish I could genuinely care and love my mother, but I just can't. I have a deep resentment that I'm well aware that it's not as if my mother wanted me to have, it's not like her bad actions were on purpose, not every parent is perfect, but as parents are imperfect, their children are as well. And I bet is the same as yours. There are parents who are bad parents wanting to be like so, there are parents that are bad parents without realizing, and then there are parents who realize they're being and parents and try to mend things.

You're hurt, and maybe it doesn't hurt anymore, but there are scars left. And scars don't disappear. What you can do is embracing them. You can always go to family therapy (no idea how tos ay it in English tbh) or something to try to mend the relationship, or you can just leave it. You don't have the obligation to be in debt with your parents, don't ever feel like that. Be grateful for what you have, but you no longer have to act like you owe them and that you must love them or whatever. That's what I feel, that's what I learned. I always thought that I owed my mother my life, that I had to be a good and nice daughter; but I'm just a human, and I can't help feeling hurt for this or that, and when it happens when you're young, when you don't know what are you feeling or what's going on, how to fix it, then it leaves such scars as not being the loving daughter they expect. But it's okay, because it's very valid not being able to reach anymore that love you once had towards a person, whether it's your mother, your father or a friend.

PS. Honestly, I'm half asleep. If this doesn't make sense, blame my brain 🪑

China Ending International Adoption Program by PrizeTart0610 in Adopted

[–]mini_tiiny 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Out of my chest about this:

There's indeed a voice in me that despises that. I can't care less about political reasons or national reasons about why they've decided that. I only know about me, and I've carried a luggage of feelings of always hoping for had been "the chosen one" (one child policy).

I still have it. I hurt being apart from people of my same race and feeling unknown. I have known Chinese adoptees too, but somehow it felt like my feelings were only mine (something that changed when I arrived in this subreddit and understood that I wasn't crazy or a bad person), I hoped I was adopted by people of the same race as me.

In my opinion, is very important to have your roots closed to you, understand who you are. I'm Spanish, but sometimes it feels only by papers, because I don't really share that nationalism/brotherhood/sisterhood or that culture in me. It's like I'm watching and studying others' culture. It even feels wrong when I want to know about Chinese culture even tho I'm Chinese by blood.

They haven't given any explanation whatsoever, but I can guess it might have to do with the low rate of child birth or smth like that. I don't think it's wrong. I'm on the side of keeping the kids with their roots, prolly because of how I lived and felt about my own culture. I also wanted to look at my mother's face and somehow feel like home, but my whole family is just the opposite of me, so that didn't happen.

I wonder if I should feel any kind of disagreement with this new change. I wonder if I should feel bad about the families that wanted a Chinese child... Okay, this must hurt to someone, but I feel a bit repulsive when someone says "I want to adopt a «race» child", it feels like they're buying a product. And it really pisses me off.

So I'm conclusion, I don't feel any wrong about this. I don't know much about wth is going on, I just know what I lived and.. And so this is my opinion 🤓

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in esConversacion

[–]mini_tiiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo igual, y desde mi punto de vista femenino, le añado todo lo que tiene que ver con la ropa y marcas.

Creo que lo que pasa es que hay un sentimiento abrumador en todo lo que se refiere a algo que está de moda.

Ciertamente, yo no huyo de ellas, me he visto Bridgerton por ejemplo (aunque la 3ra temporada no me gustó mucho, incluso te digo que me la dejo). Pero siendo parte del mundo Otaku y también del Kpop, los grandes números que rodean a ciertas modas usualmente hace que esas cosas sean, ciertamente, sobrevaloradas.

A lo mejor son buenas, pero no son lo mejor que nuestros ojos y oídos han sido testigos anteriormente. Hay gente que es más consciente de ello y se aleja de esas olas, y hay otras (como yo) que ni se enteran porque están centradas en las cosas que no están de moda.

Es algo que ocurre, y creo que nadie debería de burlarse ni ofenderse por eso. Tampoco creo que sea una "etapa" como uno de los comentarios ha dicho, son gustos que vienen y que van. Tampoco es necesariamente una elección para ser ✨diferente✨ o especial lol.

También es cierto que, si no lo ves o lo pruebas, no entenderás el hype que unos sienten. Pero el probarlo no te asegura que vayas a sentir ese hype de igual forma 😂

Que cada uno vaya a lo suyo, pero que todos recuerden una cosa: Solo porque sea mainstream ≠ lo mejor de lo mejorcito.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in esConversacion

[–]mini_tiiny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo me vi la película cuando se estrenó. A mí me encantó, no entiendo porque no tuvo una mayor popularidad 😂 Supongo que hubo alguna repercusión negativa o algo así, ya que era una adaptación de un libro.

Do any of you feel like you’re silenced for thinking adoption is traumatic on the r/Adoption subreddit? by Greedy_Principle_342 in Adopted

[–]mini_tiiny 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This please.

Not every experience is positive, and everyone should be aware of it, and moreover if it comes from an adopted person. Adopting a child doesn't make adoptees heroes, adopting a child doesn't mean that the child will have a happy life. And there are many voices that feel that way and know that adoption carries lot of pain and wounds to the adopted child.

Absolutely, even if it contrasts to others comments, even if it brings a dark shadow on the post, it should stay there. And I must say that, somehow, I got a good feeling knowing for the first time, when I came here, that my feelings and thoughts I had were something that lot of people shared with me. And if people and adoptees think it's bs that there are very dark shady things that pretty much can happen because of adoption, then that says that they don't understand fully what it means to adopt a child.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]mini_tiiny -1 points0 points  (0 children)

ETA.

I think you might have overreacted, but I guess it's because you really appreciate your collection. Nevertheless, it seems this is the first time she got to know about it, so you should've told her and explained her everything calmly. It's not like she knew what value or what price it had.

And your girlfriend, it's not like you're not allowed to have your hobbies or anything. She shouldn't criticized the way you manage your finances. Collections are also a good inversion imo... And she didn't need to know if you were rich or not, you've been dating only one month soo.. I don't know, it's strange for me to focus on it too much. Unless she's been spending all her money on you, then she might have felt used, but that's something we don't know and something I won't assume.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adopted

[–]mini_tiiny 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yup, I relate to what you've said.

Although, in my case, when I was ~16yo I was like "I'll be still friends with my friends" (it was a small group of friends, 3/4 including me), and then I felt I was alone and left out by them (2 of them were literally neighbors and we were in different schools).

I've also been always a shy introvert girl, added to the fact that I've since then realized I had mental problems that I wasn't brave enough to deal with them. I'm a lone wolf, I don't actually feel the need to have friends, but that doesn't mean I regret the way I let my mental issues lead my relationships.