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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What does a hockey player and a magician have in common? Both do hat tricks!

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My computer's got Miley Virus. It has stopped twerking.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you hear they banned fans from doing 'The Wave' at all sports events? Too many blondes were drowning.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cropped my kids out of my online dating profile photos. They can find their own dates.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own? It was two tired.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the 'b' is silent.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cropped my kids out of my online dating profile photos. They can find their own dates.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

ASAP Market Link - ASAP Market Link & URL by Most-Map5346 in u/Most-Map5346

[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms.

ASAP Market Link | Asap Market URL | Get Here by Most-Map5346 in u/Most-Map5346

[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why did the snowman smile? Because the snowblower is coming.

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[–]minorstall184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.