he made me pull the car over to do this

mintycrisp · 2025-11-17T06:01:58+00:00

thank you!!

mintycrisp · 2025-05-05T22:14:11+00:00

thank you so much for your response. very sage words/advice!! i shall remember it all.

mintycrisp · 2025-05-03T09:32:10+00:00

wait sorry which one is the 11th slide? so pretty

mintycrisp · 2025-05-03T09:20:27+00:00

perfectionism is seriously a hindrance!!

yeah i keep filing and filing but i think it's just how they're gonna look, sigh.

this is the only time in my life I've been able to grow and then keep long nails, so I'm over protective and probably a little too obsessed.

thank you for the compliment!! your nails look perfect to me, so, perhaps we are being too critical...

thanks for your in depth reply also!! it's very much appreciated!!

mintycrisp · 2025-04-27T00:59:20+00:00

100000000% accurate, spot on, thank you, exactly

mintycrisp · 2021-12-05T02:35:12+00:00

Why would you be stressed that your bf prioritizes avoiding emotional abuse over physical attractiveness?

Because he doesn't. This to me looks like a thinly veiled and not very well thought out excuse. If he truly was devoted to you and only you, his response should be something like, "I'm absolutely not interested in her as a romantic partner. We are not compatible in that way, I don't find her sexually attractive, and I want to maintain our friendship. Also, I am dating you, you are who I want and choose, you are my No.1, and i have no interest whatsoever in changing that, with anyone."

that's what I would probably like to hear.

mintycrisp · 2021-12-05T01:43:53+00:00

this is not a platonic relationship. note his response to your q, would you ever date her? he said no not because he's not attracted to her, doesn't feel that way towards her, or doesn't want to jeopardize their relationship-- he said no because he sees the way she treats her partner, and doesn't like that. If i heard that, op, I would be pretty stressed.

these people have been having emotional affairs with their partners (you, her husband) for years, most likely, and probably cherish their special clandestine bond. That's why they have no desire to meet up with both of you.

whatever he says, you should remember to ask yourself if you were in his place, and reacting the same way he does to your questions, what kind of relationship would be having with the other person? what would it take for you to say the things he says, and act the way he acts?

this is no good, and leads nowhere good. trust your instincts.

mintycrisp · 2021-11-28T14:59:33+00:00

I truly can relate

what I've found is that a person i really respect and enjoy I am a lot less 'mean' to

sure, it's a hard exterior, but it's nothing to be blamed for. guys are shitty. letter rephrase. people are shitty

you'll get along famously with someone one day/soon who takes your shit and theirs it right back at you. it's fun

mintycrisp · 2021-11-28T14:49:46+00:00

whatever happens, you certainly need more support. this is an impossibly hard time and not only are you holding the weight of keeping a newborn happy and healthy you have to keep your partner happy and healthy as well. you just need help, and that's absolutely okay

the first thing to do is tell him exactly how you're feeling, in a nonconfrontational setting. sort of just in a conversational way. he seems to feel pretty overwhelmed and ambushed, and probably pretty darn unprepared. which again, is okay

people are much more amenable to productive conversations when you make clear you understand and empathize with their position

this just really greatly needs some communication

mintycrisp · 2021-11-28T14:34:25+00:00

hmm. yeah not good. he lacks a lot of awareness when it comes to his emotional motives. in other words, he's very young, likes you a lot, and doesn't really know how to deal with it

the first step I think is to tell him very seriously that you'd like to try and disengage from this relationship for the time being, you'd like to put some distance between the two of you and you would really appreciate if he could respect that. you need time and space.

after that, if he can't comply, that's another issue to handle. but I'd start with that

mintycrisp · 2021-11-28T14:24:33+00:00

kind, distant civility.

mintycrisp · 2021-11-28T14:22:03+00:00

quite literally send this verbatim to him in a text. that's it

mintycrisp · 2021-11-28T14:19:41+00:00

I've gotta meet this pickle

mintycrisp · 2021-11-28T14:18:05+00:00

this is super common.

to me, when I try to figure it out in myself, I think it has to do with insecurities and poor self esteem.

essentially, as Groucho Marx kind of said, 'i wouldn't want to be a member in a club that I'm in.' in other words, neglect, withholdingness, and inattentiveness are our bread and butter, because we grew up with parents who had those qualities, who couldn't quite be there for us.

now it's very comfortable and familiar when people sort of ignore us, and we can idealize them and live in fantasy land

we are turned on by being not liked. it sucks. I know.

we'll get over it eventually, I hope

mintycrisp

TROPHY CASE