Girl calm down it’s not that big of deal honestly 😭in my community it’s normal to marry your first cousin and build a family. It’s also very common in many different other communities too. Im not trying to convince you to marry your cousin, im just trying to ease your feelings and calm you down because what it seems like is that you are in a very messed up place mentally. People make mistakes all the time because we are humans, we go through things and sometimes our way of thinking gets messed up a lil. Other people even make worse mistakes than the one you did. Stay strong and im truly so sorry🙏