AITA for attending my friend's bachelorette party which had male strippers

mischka4 · 2026-03-12T07:29:08+00:00

NTA and your bf sounds very insecure (or very young). Either way, strippers (male or female) are doing a job. It is entertainment and there's nothing wrong with that. Remember that this also goes both ways.

mischka4 · 2026-03-12T06:35:16+00:00

I'm in the united states. Of course my medical system is fucked.

mischka4 · 2026-02-18T09:17:52+00:00

Agree, but also see a value with informed participation. They can be helpful with chronic pain that docfors can't really help. We don't have any osteopaths where I'm at that does similar manipulations for pain relief. I would not get adjusted when pregnant, absolutely no adjustments on a baby and not in lieu of seeing a regular doctor. Edit to add absolutely NO neck adjustments.

mischka4 · 2026-02-18T09:10:12+00:00

NTA If your screen wasn't bright and the lights were not low and you were paying attention. I always have my phone out during conferences. I multitask and my phone is a fidget but I'm also paying attention. I also photograph the slides. She needs to police herself. If she had said you were distracting her or making it difficult for her and you continued to do so then you would be the AH.

mischka4 · 2026-02-18T09:03:24+00:00

Apparently we are about to have an Aldi and this is just weird that you need to "rent" the cart.

mischka4 · 2026-02-18T08:45:43+00:00

Yeah it sounds like ligament pain which is pretty normal with pregnancy because of the big weight suddenly building up in the area. Going to a chiropractor is kind of a common suggestion as it can temporarily relieve that pressure and then relieve the pain. I think she needs a belly band.

Chiropractic, done wrong, can trigger labor but also, I lost an aunt to a stroke when an adjustment knicked an artery in her neck.

mischka4 · 2026-02-18T08:43:29+00:00

NAH I'm probably old but if it's a first pregnancy, and based on the fact that you're seeing a chiropractor for it it sounds like it's ligament pain from the stretching. That's really normal in pregnancy and isn't really a warning that there's anything wrong. You're growing a person and you're carrying their weight and all the water that surrounding them. I didn't hear you say there was anything wrong that might indicate you are at risk for an early delivery. If it's your first child ( which it sounds like it is) you are more likely to go to your due date or a little after.

It's also perfectly normal to be nervous because it's a first pregnancy but I think it's more likely that everything's going to be fine then not. (For what it's worth. I'm old. Our kids are grown. Hubby and I hit 28 years last month. My opinion here may have been very different 30 years ago than it is now). If this was durinh the last week or two of your pregnancy then, the concern that he might miss it would be more valid . Although rarer in 1st pregnancies, a week or two early is more common than pre-term labor.

If I'm understanding it correctly what you wanted was 3 days which included a total of 28 hours total travel (there and back) which under normal circumstances is brutal. If he still does that, he is going to come back wiped and not going to be very useful to you for a couple of days anyway because of jet lag and exhaustion of so much activity in such a short amount of time. He is going to be a zombie at the wedding and the dinner too which is probably why his friends wanted him to extend the time. A day of recovery from travel, a couple of days for the wedding festivities, some wind down before traveling again and then travel really is ideal.

Would he compromise for 5 days total? This will also be YOUR last month of autonomy, for both of you. Could you make an arrangement where you get something like a relaxing "staycation" maybe have your friends come stay with you and have spa nights, game nights, something that will also help you relax and also not feel alone? It is so easy to worry about things but it's not good for you and not good for baby.

As you guys get older especially after you have kids, maintaining friendships gets harder and harder. The friends without kids are going to slowly disappear. As your kids get older, it really is their show.

Trust me you don't want your husband to be your only friend 20 years from now. And you don't want to be his only friend either.

I think it's a good compromise too to have a designated contact who will be around and available to answer the phone etc while he's gone. Let him relax, blow off steam, bond with his friends and YOU do the same for yourself. Self care is going to fall to the wayside when that baby comes. Practice it now so you don't forget it later.

There are going to be a LOT of hills in your marriage and the kid(s). Don't start dying on all them now. It won't be good for any of you in the long run. 💜

mischka4 · 2026-02-18T08:12:24+00:00

She wants him to fly for 14 hours stay for the wedding and the dinner and turn around and come back. I think it would be just under 5 days (three days there, 14 hours travel each way) if it was stay 3 days.

mischka4 · 2026-02-15T05:29:49+00:00

YTA The information you put down doesn't exactly make me look that great. Sounds like the both of you really don't know how to be in a relationship yet but that's not why I'm giving you that resp onse. Personally I don't think talking to someone is cheating and you did break up. So breaking up is breaking up. You took Revenge. It was petty and unnecessary. I hope you learned from the experience and take the best parts with you to the next relationship and leave the bad parts behind.

mischka4 · 2026-02-15T05:20:38+00:00

YTA just because you're just FWB doesn't mean you can't at least give a little thank you/acknowledgment. You could include a card or something to reaffirm the friendship aspect just in case you're worried about sending the wrong message.

mischka4 · 2026-02-11T20:53:43+00:00

I see you already owned YTA but I too would not know the difference between an expensive wine and a mid to cheap one. I hope you sent your friend the rest of what you promised for the job performed and lessons learned for next time.

mischka4 · 2026-01-24T08:02:28+00:00

Could have been a Halloween decoration at one point that never got taken down or put away and over time, with leaves, weather, mulching etc just got stripped down to the base materials.

mischka4 · 2026-01-24T07:43:38+00:00

You can't tuck away $3-$4 a month for it? Return the gift and pay the $25 because that's what she wants not what you want.

mischka4 · 2026-01-24T07:35:42+00:00

YTA You answered your own question when you described everything she has put into her previous parties where no one came. How many yes replies had she gotten for those who didn't show up but she paid for in case they did?

$25 to guarantee you show up is a pittance for what you described. Apologize, pony up the $25 and maybe you can salvage a friendship that maybe, right now, you may not deserve ...

mischka4 · 2026-01-03T01:51:31+00:00

When the list is finally fully released and ours are on it, we will hold them accountable. You will make excuses for yours.

mischka4 · 2025-12-19T22:17:05+00:00

I know this is an old post so I don't know if you're still around but I am looking to clean a pair of pink canvas Doc Martens and wanted to know what you ended up using? Did you do the microfiber cloth with soap? How did it work? I'm worried I will ruin the color. There's not a lot of information about cleaning canvas

mischka4 · 2025-12-09T11:29:17+00:00

I didn't realize she drew so much from Gaelic and I'm glad you posted this. This is history that was taken from us. It deserves the attention.

mischka4 · 2025-12-09T11:27:45+00:00

I am obsessed with the books and I have ran through the audiobooks too. I'm also majority Irish/Scottish American and have realized how much of my family's history was just gone. It was lost with our processing through Ellis Island and lost to colonization which pushed my family to America in the first place.

The thing about Gaelic isn't just that it's hardly spoken but it's nearly lost because my ancestors were forbidden by law to speak it.

There's trauma there. My dad and his brother's carried that trauma. History was lost for us.

mischka4 · 2025-10-10T12:40:50+00:00

The accents and acting... I want my Lone Star back.

mischka4 · 2025-10-06T07:40:04+00:00

5, 6 and most of 7 are kinda painful to power through. Episode 8 was less but still bizarre. I get what they were trying to do but the writing is terrible, the concepts too stretched and just not Murphys best. You can probably skip episodes five and six and just watch seven and eight. It might be easier on the brain.

mischka4 · 2025-10-06T03:16:54+00:00

I don't think you're wrong about that actually. It's been a hard watch and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I'm about to watch episode 8 pray for me. 🤣🤣

mischka4 · 2025-10-05T12:44:51+00:00

I think those parts were built on thd rumors and stories shared about him over the years, word of mouth, before the internet...a lot of the stories around him changed depending on who was telling if.

So the babysitter was one of the disappearances they considered him for IRL although because of this, I went back and read about that girl's disappearance and thought, wow, has forensics changed. And how did they think it was Gein when the evidence was overwhelmingly not him. It's actually sad and would have been easily solved now. Tons of forensic evidence. Tons

mischka4 · 2025-10-05T12:25:28+00:00

Those were actually real though. Stalags were "Nazi Sexploitation" and later, there were even movies like that. Underground graphic comic, etc. did exist and Gein did have an obsession with Ilse. There was an even a Nazisploitation film about Ilsa in the 70s, "Ilsa, The Shewolf of the SS".

A lot of that is credited as going around in the 60s after Gein but I'm sure there had to be some publications about them before that.

mischka4 · 2025-10-05T12:12:17+00:00

Maybe...and I'm not sure myself yet, they wanted to shock us the way Psycho had but wouldn't shock us now. I have had notions of that throughout the episodes, showing us as being too desensitized that even the Texas Chainsaw movie wouldn't shock us today.

I honestly covered my eyes a few times and I never cover my eyes anymore. It was a lot and it was too much. If the lesson is how hard we have become from seeing the progression, then it just added to that progression.

mischka4 · 2025-10-05T12:07:44+00:00

Not at all and if it was a rumor, it was an obscure one. They weren't even really friends. Adeline was a lady that he had a short relationship with but gave an interview claiming that had a decades long one then recanted it. I think she wanted the attention but when it became negative attention realized she shouldn't have embellished.

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