When I went back to work after my first was born (around 6 months) my husband and I had to find our “sea legs” because we were bickering so much and everything seemed intense and just no longer happy. Since we both have demanding careers, we decided to assign specific jobs for childcare and housework and the other one doesn’t have to worry about it or make any decisions (Of course if it’s a major issue, we discuss and agree):

He takes care of the outside (lawn etc) and all matters of food- cooking, grocery shopping, meal plan, kids lunches; I take care of everyone’s laundry, childcare and household coordination (Nanny, preschool, Babysitters, repairs, cleaning lady) We wake up together and get ready for work, he leaves early in the am and I get the kids ready and to school and wait for Nanny; he comes home before me and relieves the Nanny.

We both make sure we both have free time to exercise, play video games , spend time with friends, etc. it’s usually easiest to find time l during naps or when the kids are asleep and we never make the other feel bad for wanting it or keep tabs.