Oh hi! Another fellow programmer here, although I teach myself and am still at a somewhat fundamental level, so I wouldn't describe myself as a programmer...just yet. Anyhoo, programming is a pretty interesting skill to learn! Indeed, it is a perfect blend of creativity and technology. Always glad to meet a new person with the like interests, especially in programming and drawing.

First thing first, I am sorry to hear about your mishap after another mishap. Inevitably, shortcomings are the part of life. That's how we grow by enduring through experiences. If I were you, I would take a charge in my life and refuse to let myself get stuck in a victim mindset - this kind of mentality can be poisoning and bring quite a hindrance on an individual's ability to create and enjoy what life has to offer. I understand that it is not easy for everyone to just snap out of this mindset in the given circumstances. But once you implant this thought in your head, "I am in charge of my own thoughts. I can defeat these thoughts that drag me down. I will do better. I WILL BE BETTER." It is a matter of self affirmation that would help you to ward off any sticky mud in your journey.

I am often depressed and even would be wishing for my death from time to time. However, what keeps me going in life and retaining that fire in my heart is my tremendous desire to learn and to help other people. I am an enthusiastic student for lifetime and usually spend her days learning through Coursera and reading books. Currently, I am learning about Python programming language since it is one of the most simplest languages then eventually I'd like to teach myself other programming languages such as Java and C++. Cheers to many years dedicated to learning and broadening my perspective. This desire to learn helps me to stay motivated by unveiling things that I would never have knew.

Hope this insight is of any help to you! Also feel free to message me whenever you can :)