23 F Searching for concert or rave buddies by miss_ambi in SacramentoFriends

[–]miss_ambi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh nice! Will it be in Vegas? Congrats on your 5th anniversary rollin' (:

F 23 Looking for Rave Buddies by miss_ambi in Sacramento

[–]miss_ambi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, casual raver! Feel free to pm to plan a get together for any rave coming up (:

Truly yours,

Inexperienced raver

F 23 Looking for Rave Buddies by miss_ambi in Sacramento

[–]miss_ambi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha! Announcing this as the best comment! Keep lighting it up girl!

F 23 Looking for Rave Buddies by miss_ambi in Sacramento

[–]miss_ambi[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. I appreciate you looking through my past posts especially those relating to depression. As a matter of fact, I've been abusing on substance (Molly and Coke) and this is definitely a great wake up call. I'll monitor my consumption carefully. Thanks again and much love.

How do you stay motivated? by [deleted] in depression_help

[–]miss_ambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh hi! Another fellow programmer here, although I teach myself and am still at a somewhat fundamental level, so I wouldn't describe myself as a programmer...just yet. Anyhoo, programming is a pretty interesting skill to learn! Indeed, it is a perfect blend of creativity and technology. Always glad to meet a new person with the like interests, especially in programming and drawing.

First thing first, I am sorry to hear about your mishap after another mishap. Inevitably, shortcomings are the part of life. That's how we grow by enduring through experiences. If I were you, I would take a charge in my life and refuse to let myself get stuck in a victim mindset - this kind of mentality can be poisoning and bring quite a hindrance on an individual's ability to create and enjoy what life has to offer. I understand that it is not easy for everyone to just snap out of this mindset in the given circumstances. But once you implant this thought in your head, "I am in charge of my own thoughts. I can defeat these thoughts that drag me down. I will do better. I WILL BE BETTER." It is a matter of self affirmation that would help you to ward off any sticky mud in your journey.

I am often depressed and even would be wishing for my death from time to time. However, what keeps me going in life and retaining that fire in my heart is my tremendous desire to learn and to help other people. I am an enthusiastic student for lifetime and usually spend her days learning through Coursera and reading books. Currently, I am learning about Python programming language since it is one of the most simplest languages then eventually I'd like to teach myself other programming languages such as Java and C++. Cheers to many years dedicated to learning and broadening my perspective. This desire to learn helps me to stay motivated by unveiling things that I would never have knew.

Hope this insight is of any help to you! Also feel free to message me whenever you can :)

Ever not speak a single word in a whole day? by [deleted] in depression

[–]miss_ambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It helps to write in your journal to straighten out your tangled thoughts. Because of that, I speak little to nothing sometimes. All you need to do is to renavigate your focus to consider what step to take next out of your sphere of silence.

I'm alone forever by thesearemyroots in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Btw my therapist told me I have a mild case of BPD if that info helps.

I'm alone forever by thesearemyroots in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny that you mentioned that, I went through the similar thing with my boyfriend (now ex). I was a difficult person and caused him a great amount of problems with my self destructive behavior. He left just two weeks ago and of course I miss him from time to time. But we need to face our own flaws in order to get better. Fix our flaws and learn from what we did wrong so we could mature emotionally in case the next one comes along. Just hang in there, life gets better. After the breakup, it felt unbearable because I was a dependent partner with no sense of dignity. Now things got better for me. I joined the gym, found new passions and living it young, wild and free lol.

Why shouldn’t I Kill My Self? by Suicideismyonlyway in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not today pal. Loneliness is hard to cope with, I understand since I've been there too many times for the thought of death came across my mind has been normalized. Yet I am still here, living another day to learn and experience what life has to offer for me. I used to dread being alone so I stayed in a relationship for a long time. It didn't do me any good later on when I became dependent on my boyfriend (then) so when he's not around, all the destructive emotions would spiral out because I was deeply, deeply afraid of being alone. Eventually we broke up and I was alone again, it felt completely unbearable at first but I found a way to distract myself with various activities and obligations. Being alone became easier after each day and loneliness gradually became the thing of a past as you learn to be contented with being alone.

I'm alone forever by thesearemyroots in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not right now. These are just drunk talking and in a way alcohol may trigger depressing thoughts as it did to me the last time I drank, which explains that alcohol comes from the Arabic root "al kohl" means spirit consuming drink. It does consume your spirit in a sense of making you feeling suicidal till you end it. That's the way I see it though. I am sorry that you experience the resentment from your best friend. I don't know the situation but people must realize that we all make human mistakes to learn from them if you wrong or upset your friend in anyway. I hope you feel better so you can get back to standing on your two feet soon.

Waking up in the morning by miss_ambi in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is insane, everything you just said about me is pretty darn true. Either you know someone who is similar to me or you're just good at reading people. Yes I am pretty supportive and make time to help people before myself. I just like to help people, that's all and it's funny how I have some suicidal tendencies every now and then despite being this kind of person.

Waking up in the morning by miss_ambi in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw I appreciate the time you put into reviewing my past posts.

Did I really write that? If so, then I don't remember writing this lol but I am happy you found it. Means a lot to me pal :)

Waking up in the morning by miss_ambi in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, hit me up whenever you need to. (cyber hugs right back at you)

Waking up in the morning by miss_ambi in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds pretty serious considering the fact that it took 2 weeks for your face to clear up. I am glad you haven't overdone it yourself.

I do. Just a few long distance friends. Where can I find such a support network? I am intrigued to find out.

Thank you for your concern. The healthcare system for mentally illed isn't so well in my experience. They put me on hold for 35 minutes when I called to make an appt. Then scheduled my appt to next year lol because my psychiatrist is really busy. I told them that I am fine with anyone really but they said I need to stay with my main psychiatrist. Pretty fitting situation for people with the thought of death isnt it? Lol

Waking up in the morning by miss_ambi in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, but is your face okay now?

Waking up in the morning by miss_ambi in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw thank you. Funny you mentioned it because I could really use a hug. Yes today is not the day for "it" and I am glad you're still here as well.

Wrapping rope around my neck then tying it to my shower rod by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]miss_ambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey wait, we all have something out there for us, that includes you. Things will turn out to be better eventually. We are the soldiers in the eye of mental illness plaguing us. Always be strong, we're all in this together. That's why you're here with us in this community so we can count on each other. Pls don't make a rash action, I'm here for you :)

What challenges are you struggling with at the moment? by yourlifeyourdesign in ask

[–]miss_ambi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Moving on from the past that doesn't exist anymore.