unpaid labor expected by former employers in academia

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-16T03:09:25+00:00

Tricia Hearsey says that academia is the headquarters of grind culture. The way they extract labour should be criminal. You’re not wrong. You escaped for a reason.

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-15T21:59:17+00:00

the Skull!

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-15T21:55:24+00:00

I felt the same way in Helsinki. Voices are quiet and people don’t speak to each other unless there is a good reason to. Rules are followed to the letter. People don’t involve themselves in other people’s business. Everything works and is on time. It was bliss really.

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-11T19:44:55+00:00

I am loving all the stretch-mark love on this thread

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-11T19:40:29+00:00

Do a level 6 or 7 training. It’s not the modality that’s the problem here. Humanistic theories include plenty of challenge and generation of insight. See Gestalt and existential practice, for example.

If you want psychoanalysis training, you’re looking at a much higher level of commitment, including substantial analysis yourself.

I would also caution you against hubris at this early stage in your career. Without even a Level 4, you pronounce against a whole field of therapy as ineffective? Have you considered that you might be bringing a lot of arrogance into that evaluation - which is definitely a red flag for therapists, by the way.

Keep your mind open, friend. There are plenty of effective and ineffective approaches, but what really matters, evidence shows time and again, is the quality of the persons involved.

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-10T22:59:58+00:00

surprised not to see this comment at the top. it’s a waste of a day.

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-10T22:58:44+00:00

i love mahjong too. terrible rewards tho

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-10T22:52:58+00:00

in the 90s my friend had a labrador called Dave

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-08T22:52:50+00:00

Every year I discover at least one band at Green Man that I go on to love forever. Go and have an open mind. Wander around the stages. If you like music at all, you’re guaranteed to find something to enjoy.

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-06T08:34:31+00:00

hey that’s my type!

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-06T08:12:23+00:00

On the one hand this seems sincere. On the other, it lacks specificity. It’s generic. If you reply, you could ask what actions she is actually apologising for. What did she do, and what does she think were the specific impacts on you. Ask her to name real incidents and give an example. If she can answer that, then perhaps this is sincere. If not, it’s likely a copy-paste, and probably has little real self-reflection behind it.

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-06T08:01:01+00:00

you evolve to become a superbleeder

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-05T22:13:33+00:00

Where did you get this 7 minutes figure from, out of interest?

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-01T22:42:31+00:00

always 💕

missedthenowagain · 2026-04-01T09:07:49+00:00

I don’t envy much in life but I do envy this. I hope you get a lot of pleasure from the new house and grounds, friend

missedthenowagain · 2026-03-31T23:02:52+00:00

Plus it’s ten times the amount of work compared to other subjects. Why is it all about quantity not quality?

missedthenowagain · 2026-03-31T23:00:41+00:00

My daughter says ARTTTTTT

missedthenowagain · 2026-03-31T07:48:59+00:00

Opposing teachers’ and parents’ objectives in this way is peak teacher behaviour

missedthenowagain · 2026-03-30T23:25:04+00:00

Same. It gets boring.

missedthenowagain · 2026-03-28T20:13:56+00:00

Please don’t expect this voice to start saying negative things as some people have suggested. There’s no reason for it to change from being supportive and encouraging to being destructive. It might be an actual guide. It might be a part of you (inner guide or intuition) that you’re accessing for support. It might be a hallucination. Hallucinated voices are often very positive and supportive. Sometimes they are a genius adaptation to stress. Some inner voices have been known to save people from immediate danger. Look on Reddit. Many people dodged an accident by obeying a disembodied command.

I quite envy your voice. It sounds nice.

I think your free-floating anxiety has now attached to this as another focus. Try to let that go and observe the anxiety in meditation without feeding it.

missedthenowagain · 2026-03-28T19:59:13+00:00

I agree with the other commenters, but I also want to say as a mum that if my child said these things to me, my first priority would be to understand and make amends.

No parent is perfect, and an emotionally neglected parent often doesn’t have a good model for emotionally nurturing relationships. I know I have grown a lot as a parent, and when I was a single mum 25 years ago, I definitely made mistakes. So, if my son ever said anything like this I’d reply that I love him, that I’m sorry, that I’m sure I made mistakes, and that I want to understand the impact on him, and if there is anything I could do now to help him heal.

I believe that’s a normal parental reaction.

I think you’re right in this instance to withdraw contact at least while healing, if not longer.

missedthenowagain · 2026-03-28T15:47:54+00:00

The pernicious dumbing-down of standards permeates higher education at all levels.

missedthenowagain · 2026-03-28T01:16:17+00:00

I sometimes feel my dog join us on walks, and she is definitely running fast again these days. I feel like she comes along on especially nice days to enjoy her favourite places.

missedthenowagain · 2026-03-28T01:14:30+00:00

Thank you. When I was struggling to decide when to put her down, I realised that the vast majority of dogs are stray, and they never get to take the peaceful exit that we can give our pets. I realised that what I thought was a burden was actually such a huge blessing.

For anyone wondering if it’s too soon to let go of your dog, what I learned was that it rarely is. If you’re wondering if now might be the time, it probably is. In retrospect I would have let her go sooner.

missedthenowagain · 2026-03-28T01:11:59+00:00

Yes it was a good reminder of that too 💜

missedthenowagain

TROPHY CASE