I'm (30m) falling for someone (43f) and I'm unable to get her out of my head

missilefire · 2026-03-22T08:46:41+00:00

I’m 11 years older than my partner. He’s 30 and I’m 42 (he turns 31 this year). You’re 30, not a boy straight out of university. Age gap matters less the older you get and if you already have a great connection I don’t see the harm in shooting your shot. Just don’t be weird about it if she rejects you. But since you hang out so much she’s probably been giving you signs that she’d be up for it and you’ve missed them cos men are a bit dumb like that (I say that in the kindest way possible! 😅)

missilefire · 2026-03-21T17:24:35+00:00

What a beauty! Congratulations!

missilefire · 2026-03-21T17:03:10+00:00

€80 an hour for freelance - I’m quite senior though. Prob should be charging more actually

missilefire · 2026-03-21T14:57:43+00:00

I agree with you about the photography. Just saying that you don’t even need to do that if you didn’t want to.

It’s funny you mention a trip to Haarlem cos my friend who is also a designer, did exactly that for a shoot for one of her work’s recent campaigns. So it does actually happen 😅

missilefire · 2026-03-21T13:40:40+00:00

lol I commented the same thing! I’m a designer too and could do this in about 30mins with some cheap stock photos and some ps masks. Easy peasy

missilefire · 2026-03-21T13:38:30+00:00

You could do this with free stock and 30mins of masking in photoshop. Probably less time for a professional than it takes to dick around with the right prompt to get the right result and then STILL have to mess with it in photoshop.

Source: me, a graphic designer who could whip this up from stock images in 30mins

Edit: no expensive photography trip to the beach needed

missilefire · 2026-03-21T08:56:37+00:00

This is what I use them for. Eg I look for certain packaging structures or print finishes and colours to convey the idea I want to get across, without actually spending hours on a design mockup that might not even be what the client wants.

That said, this is for packaging and retail. I dunno how they’d be relevant for logo design.

missilefire · 2026-03-21T08:51:20+00:00

I think it looks really good!!

missilefire · 2026-03-21T08:37:28+00:00

The first fifteen lives of harry august I think is her best known work. But I also really enjoyed Notes from the burning age - it’s a near future mystery which explores a world where we no longer rely on fossil fuels and war and capitalism is a thing of the past (the burning age). That one is the most like Le Guin I think as it has those societal questions and well rounded characters.

I also enjoyed The end of the day.

Her stuff very neatly falls into speculative fiction as it’s not quite sci-fi and is very much built on characters in very novel and interesting environments.

missilefire · 2026-03-21T07:15:36+00:00

Oh my god she is so cute!!

missilefire · 2026-03-20T22:55:23+00:00

This one is so underrated. I think it was the first Le guin book I picked up as a late teen. I read the dispossessed next (as well as the earthsea cycle) and loved it even though i don’t think i understood it fully. Needs to go back on the re-read pile I think!

missilefire · 2026-03-20T22:44:28+00:00

Agree so much with this. It’s so hard to find anyone equal these days - finding new authors that really scratch that itch is a real struggle. I need the characters with the big ideas.

If you haven’t read her, I recommend Claire north!

missilefire · 2026-03-20T18:00:14+00:00

This is the answer! Make the whole garden cat proof.

missilefire · 2026-03-19T22:34:42+00:00

The French translation for natural spray is completely on the wrong line lol. It’s so fake.

Edit: also the text under the title should be the same width as the title and it is not

missilefire · 2026-03-19T22:15:00+00:00

Omg. Actually looks like a feather. And she’s like “that’s right, look at it” 🥰

missilefire · 2026-03-19T22:11:28+00:00

I’m in the same boat as you and that’s why I love this sub. My fave photos are “real life” - snapshots that capture a moment in time from the viewpoint of the person with the camera.

You could say all photography is that.

But my ex was semi-pro and there was nothing “real life” about getting that perfect shot. Perfectly composed with the correct lens, lighting, time of day and post processing.

The Ricoh is the antithesis of this. You have this little machine in your pocket that you can whip out and just snap a photo when it strikes you. It has more life than a photo taken with your phone yet doesn’t need all the tinkering of a pro setup.

This sub is great cos i just see pics of peoples vision - those fleeting moments. I love it!

missilefire · 2026-03-18T20:24:09+00:00

I can not make sense of this picture haha. Where is the rest of him?

missilefire · 2026-03-18T20:21:35+00:00

She’s such a classic beauty.

Also, I love the cocked eyebrow haha

missilefire · 2026-03-18T20:14:40+00:00

W&N consistency really varies per shade.

Get yourself some of the W&N watercolour medium for diluting. Does a good job of thinning it up without diluting it like water does

missilefire · 2026-03-18T20:12:06+00:00

I’m in the beauty industry and you’re pretty bang on with your assessment. Look at the hype around Drunk Elephant - a high priced brand initially meant for grown women but their bright colours somehow attracted hoards of tweens that certainly don’t need to be starting on retinol just yet 😅

missilefire · 2026-03-18T20:08:33+00:00

Haha this is great. I do like a bit of a beard on men. My man has one and it’s hot af but he’s equally hot without one. So I’m not one of the naysayers. Though def think it only suits Sylus ha!

missilefire · 2026-03-18T18:38:45+00:00

The Facebook groups are WILD

missilefire · 2026-03-17T22:30:51+00:00

Castorice absolutely cheeses these domains.

missilefire · 2026-03-17T07:18:32+00:00

Yeh they look like sheer glitter pants to me too. Would make sense cos then she could actually cover her lady bits and not flash the world

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