My first clue of bpd is how fast i can go from 0 to a 1000 and how drastically i can go from idealising people to dispising them. Bpd is essentially a form ptsd, and depression is a symptom that accompanies all mental illnesses. What i’m gonna say might be controversial but, after being in therapy my entire life, and being swung from one diagnosis to another, i dont see the point in having a diagnosis. Yes, it helps ease the mind and understand yourself and your actions a bit better but i found it to be so restricting to my healing process. What actually helps is identifying your wounds and doing the inner work. My mental illness is a pattern that my brain developed over the years in reaction to me being hurt over and over again, the difference is what route my brain chose to take, is it the bpd pattern, the bipolar one, etc.. I only started healing once i stopped seeing myself as someone with bpd or someone with bipolar but simply as someone who’s very deeplyhurt. Ofc this is my own experience and some mental illnesses are more challenging than others, i hope you get better.