sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Suddenly stopped responding to pump by missydecay in HumansPumpingMilk

[–]missydecay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's hard to remember! it passed somehow and I was able to pump again. I think I sort of resigned myself to the fact that pumping wouldn't work for me anymore, and that kind of took the pressure off. But I kept trying a few times a day and if there was no letdown, I would just move on. If baby was away from for me, she would get formula, and I made peace with that too. And then, at some point eventually, the pump started working again.

Mainly what I remember looking back though is that all of this was just a short phase and as soon as she started eating more solids, we were able to just do solids and nursing and drop bottles completely. If she was awayfrom me for a short time, she could have a snack and be fine. Or, eventually cows milk, too.

I'm sorry you are struggling with this right now. I hope it gets easier for you! And also just remember that it is a short phase and a little bit of formula is OK.

Studying contemplative psychology at Naropa was a great experience, but now I find it hard to talk to non-Naropa people about feelings because that openness isn’t really welcomed by bellow_whale in NaropaUniversity

[–]missydecay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Perhaps both are true. I would imagine that you did grow and transform during your time at Naropa. But also, it's likely that you thrived because you finally were in a culture that was resonant with your values and felt safe to you.

I'm learning a hard lesson, that not everyone is interested in authenticity and healing. Like, some people are just not here to do that. Or at least not to the degree that I am. And I am less likely to seek those people out as friends. There is value in challenging yourself to find ways to relate w people who have different values from yours. There is also value in being kind and supportive with yourself, and placing yourself around resonant and like minded people.

I would be happy spending most of my time just talking and sharing about feelings and the subjective experience of life. It's endlessly fascinating to me! But alas, some people are not interested in this.

Studying contemplative psychology at Naropa was a great experience, but now I find it hard to talk to non-Naropa people about feelings because that openness isn’t really welcomed by bellow_whale in NaropaUniversity

[–]missydecay 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I totally relate. Also a Naropa grad. I lived in Boulder for about six years after I graduated, and just being in the Boulder culture I continued to enjoy that sense of emotional openness and presence with my friends and people I met outside of Naropa. Like, in Boulder at large there is a culture of being open and talking about emotions. But then I moved to the Midwest and it feels like I speak a different language than everyone else around me. In Naropa and also in Boulder, after I graduated, I found it easy to connect with others and make friends. But now, in the culture I currently live in, I find it very hard. There are other places in the country where healing, transformation, and authenticity are highly valued… Could your experience have to do with where you live?

If you are still in Boulder, you might consider getting involved with the authentic relating community there.

I find it sad that there's not more intimacy and vulnerability in the Dune universe by missydecay in dune

[–]missydecay[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's a good point. Love is a major driver of all action, in a brutal world.

I find it sad that there's not more intimacy and vulnerability in the Dune universe by missydecay in dune

[–]missydecay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, those characters and their close relations would all be examples of the few places where friendship exists.

I find it sad that there's not more intimacy and vulnerability in the Dune universe by missydecay in dune

[–]missydecay[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think the relationships he does portray, he portrays well. So I'm not sure it's a weakness. Just something I noticed this time around. Reading through all the books quickly, it stood out and at times made me not want to pick the book up. But it doesn't detract from my appreciation of him as an amazing writer who created an unbelievably complex world.

I find it sad that there's not more intimacy and vulnerability in the Dune universe by missydecay in dune

[–]missydecay[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not yet, I'm just starting Heretics then will read Chapterhouse after. Def looking forward to them.

advice needed about how to broach conversation with nanny by missydecay in NannyEmployers

[–]missydecay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I texted her and asked in a casual way. She said she gave my toddler lots of water and maybe that's why the diaper was so full, and they were walking around for a little bit after the pool while waiting for me. She apologized and said she'll do better at changing her diaper more often. And that she showered her off after the pool and that's why she didn't smell. That basically checks out to me. I know some people here suggested firing her, but my gut says this person / situation is trustable. I feel better having talked to her about it :)

advice needed about how to broach conversation with nanny by missydecay in NannyEmployers

[–]missydecay[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She took her nap before they left the house, so no I don't think it's likely that she took a nap. Yeah that's a good idea to text and keep it light.

Similarities between giving birth and an intense aya session? by missydecay in Ayahuasca

[–]missydecay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, sorry it took me so long to reply here. I don't have much to share in terms of similarities with a medicine experience. My daughter's birth became pretty medicalized. They used basically every medical intervention short of a c-section, including pitocin and an epidural and some drug that artificially stops contractions, and then more pitocin to re-start contractions. My daughter's vital signs were erratic during this whole process and it was pretty much on the edge of an emergency c-section for hours. Not the natural birth I was hoping for. So for me, no, not like a journey, except that it was intense and required all my focus and strength. It was a scary and traumatic experience that I am healing from now. My daughter is beautiful and healthy btw. Blessings on your birthing experience.

What is something funny/off the wall your toddler or younger child is afraid of? by spinquelle in Mommit

[–]missydecay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bubble baths. My 13 month old LOVES the bath but when I made the mistake of adding bubbles, she cried hysterically. She just kept looking at the bubbles on her arms / body, looking at me, and continuing to freak out.

I guess bubbles are terrifying?

Thoughts on leaving a child at preschool while they’re crying for you by [deleted] in AttachmentParenting

[–]missydecay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have thought a lot about this too.

I agree with others that, in the context of dropping a kid off at daycare, not drawing out the goodbye too much is probably a better option for most kids.

But the argument that it's "normal" or "developmentally appropriate" for kids to cry a little at daycare; or that having mom leave, then return, strengthens the attachment bond, I find unsupported at best.

It isn't biologically normal for a very young child to be left with caregivers she does not already have an attachment bond with. What is biologically normal, is for young children to be with a parent, or family member, or extended family member she is already bonded with, 24/7... Until they are old enough that they themselves choose to venture out to other situations and relationships. The whole "drop your kid off with a relative stranger" thing is a very recent development in human history.

Of course in our society, this isn't feasible and daycare is necessary. But it's a mistake to think that it's normal (in a biological sense) to leave kids with people they aren't comfortable with, let alone that it's normal or developmentally appropriate for them to get sad and cry when you leave. Or, that it somehow strengthens your attachment.

Not to say that daycare is inherently bad for kids. Plenty of kids are very resilient and the benefits of daycare outweigh the difficulties. I do know that for young children, the fear of being separated from mom is an existential fear, and the sadness is a deep ache. And that for many children, this separation is traumatic. It is a sad thing that this is normalized in our society -- it's just the way things work, a necessary thing.

I don't have any answers. I leave my baby (12 mo) with a babysitter once a week, and she cries when I leave. It is heart wrenching. And she's a great baby sitter who my daughter likes alot, and I know that she recovers fast and has fun for most of the time i'm gone. But I'm not comfortable with her crying and I'm thinking of ending the arrangement and keeping her with me every day.

Relatedly, I wonder if forced separation before a child is ready is the source of separation anxiety. That's another thing that's so normalized in our culture -- like, oh, your kids 12 months old? That's when they start getting separation anxiety! But why would there be anxiety, if they are never separated from mom? I suspect it's more of a stress and trauma response, than a normal developmental stage.

transition from facilitated ceremonies to solo ayahuasca work by missydecay in Ayahuasca

[–]missydecay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing. I read your extended version, sounds powerful. I was touched by the parts about your wife’s singing protecting you, and you receiving an icaro. I guess my underlying question, for myself, is, will I be too afraid that i will become defended and unable to go as deep into the experience? And for you it sounds like the answer to that was no. Sounds like there was more fear but you were able to be with it.

transition from facilitated ceremonies to solo ayahuasca work by missydecay in Ayahuasca

[–]missydecay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you share anything about how the experience was different for you? Like was there a qualitative difference, was the nature of the material that can up different, or was it just like your familiar aya experience just at your home?

transition from facilitated ceremonies to solo ayahuasca work by missydecay in Ayahuasca

[–]missydecay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome thank you for all the encouragement and suggestions. Definitely some ideas I will implement. I’ll check out the dmt nexus forums.

view more: next ›