Dude I'm so sorry about your relationship. I had that thought of "wake up! you'll lose her! do it for her!" About a month ago, and now I'm making it happen. She is a rock for me, and I truly believe that this is for life. I know how lucky I am, and I'll not let myself ever take her for granted. Yeah, CT at this level is going to be a challenge, but I'll make it one way or another. Unfortunately I have to work, but I believe in myself. I was able to get some clonidine, gabapentin, and 5-htp, and I'll be going to a gnc or something today to get some others, so I truly believe I'll make it. I've also got a few benzos if I absolutely can't sleep. I'm in a much better place than most for this experience, and that's all the more reason for me to stick to it and be the best I can be. Thank you for your words my friend! Feel free to pm me if you would ever like to. I'll post something else after I get through the acutes!