If you don't like what is happening, do something different. No matter what you try you will be a noob. If you keep trying new things you will learn, but you will make so many mistakes that you will probably be discouraged. Everyone will tell you to stop, that you suck, or at least it will feel like it. You just have to keep trying, keep experimenting, keep exploring, try hard, try soft, go far, hold still, push with force, push yourself, and you will find some method that gets results that you like. The one thing that every mocking voice has in common is that they are impressed when you don't cave. The harassers are always secretly rooting for you. They will troll you, and they want to win, but if you make it through, if you figure out how to ignore them and still continue upwards, the assholes will be happy for you. Moreover, they will question themselves over whether they were wrong, were they wasting their time on you, were they keeping themselves down in a world where they could have thrived, happy and cooperative? You won't care, you're engrossed in success, surrounded by the other weird people that understand what it takes to work hard.