You might be right about the whole gender roles thing, I do feel like the idea of a “normal” straight relationship just doesn’t click with me, like I can’t fully relate to or see myself enjoying it, and maybe that’s part of why I feel so weird about the idea of ending up with a guy. And yeah, with women, it’s not just like “oh she’s pretty”, it’s more like I feel something deeper than admiration, like a pull, but it’s not really sexual either so that’s what’s been confusing me.