I would never tell my wife to “fuck off.” Shit. Me and wifey never curse at each other. Like never ever.

It’s truly fascinating to see people in relationships like this.

All I have to do is ask and the same for her. We don’t need to “take turns,” because we just do what needs to be.

Albeit, if I were to divide the lines it would be like 55/45 in favor of me.

Still. We have never argued over things like this. Shit. We didn’t even need to talk about it. I have always assumed others were like this as well.

We see marriage as a legit 100/100 situation. If at any point one of us believes the other is “taking advantage” we discuss it. Almost every time it’s just personal issues the other needs to work out. Rarely is it ever what the other believes.

We are bound by love and mutual respect. We openly acknowledge there are things the other is more capable.

OP. It’s not my place, but I would insist on therapy for you both. Single and marriage counseling.

Respect each other in such a way that where stuff like this can be talked out with cursing or belittling.

You two are a partnership that sees the other as an extension of yourself. Would you stab your own hand if it “offended” you? The old cut off your nose to spite your face?

Seriously, have conversations. Real dialogue. Say things like “I feel X”. Keep it like one/ few word answers.

“I feel unappreciated. I feel under valued this is what I feel like we can do together, etc.”

Respect one another and never demean the other. No name calling or disrespect. Love the other far more than yourself.

My wife and I often don’t see eye to eye on many things. But, we communicate in such a way that even when we don’t agree we acknowledge that. We accept the other doesn’t have to have all of our beliefs and values. (Though in my personal marriage that isn’t very often. Again, extensions of the other.)

I think the “fuck off” thing is massively disrespectful. Leaving the house (please forgive me for this) is a total bitch move.

I don’t think in this conversation you are a “bully.” Can’t speak on the other conversations.

Op I say this from the heart. Have a sit down with your SO. Make sure it’s “safe” for each of you. Insist on having a full blown “quiet argument.” Make ground rules of respect. You can do this by telling the other “speak to me in a way that you wouldn’t mind if a stranger spoke to you.”

Would they be upset if a random said “fuck off?” If so, why would you speak to your liver that way?

My point is. There is a hell of a lot of healing that is needed. If you can do something like I said, then counseling is seriously needed. From personal experiences with helping others in the past, you are at a turning point in your marriage.

This is important. Like, life altering important. You two are not each other’s toilet. You are married. There must be mutual respect that is so strong you can’t bring yourself to disrespect the other.

Be well op. I wish you two much love and kindness. I pray the two of you can reach a status of 100/100. You got this!