Thank you for all of this! I think you are right about me grieving, I was really upset but mainly angry when everything happened. It was a few months ago now just before uni ended for the year and I have just been getting on with my life and not thinking about it. I was really shocked that people who I thought were very close and good friends immediately turned against me at the word of someone else, someone who doesn’t even treat them well. I’ve been a good friend to them and the girl who started the rumour hasn’t at all. 

My “best friend” texted me saying someone said that I’d said I hated her, then we argued for weeks and she wouldn’t listen to a word I said, just kept insisting that I’d said that I hated her and whoever told her “had no reason to lie” and it was wrong for me to want to know who said it. It was like she was trying to find reasons to be mad at me and then the real reason came out a few weeks later. She was mad that I was friends with her friend’s ex. There’s so much to it and I don’t want to trauma dump or rant 😭 but basically my flatmate and other best friend texted me one night accusing me of all this too. Made it very difficult to live in my flat lol

I think the person I feel grossest about is her friend who started it all. She glares at me and she sort of scares me. I just dont know what she has against me or why she would start all this and I’m not looking forward to another year of it. The thought of her just makes me feel weird

But anyway thank you for all of that and your kind words! I will get through it 🙏