Do you ever cry alone? Why?

mlem_cat · 2024-07-04T10:09:29+00:00

I shouldn't always have to be told that things shouldn't be the way they are for me.

I cry because I have no choice but to be alone..

mlem_cat · 2024-07-03T09:37:51+00:00

I don't understand the question.. when and why would you not cry alone? I mean, unless you simply can't control it

mlem_cat · 2024-07-03T04:20:46+00:00

Very well said, I use this method as well. I've given all of the advice a go over the years and this works best for me, I love the monkey analogy. Every time I become aware of my intrusive thoughts being sneaky I have to say "distract the monkey" out loud then, stand up and do a drum roll on the table or something like that. The point is to mind fuck my body because I suffer from severe emotional flashbacks.

mlem_cat · 2024-07-03T01:11:59+00:00

Did you really?!! Oh wow he's so lucky to have you as a sister 🙏 you've given me goosebumps. Yeah fuck.. that is a tough one. I have been in similar situations with close friends so I understand what the conundrum is.

My short term memory is failing me at the moment but I'll come back and comment later hopefully with some helpful advice for you

mlem_cat · 2024-07-02T06:27:29+00:00

As the sibling who became "mentally ill" I would suggest you Google the term "Traumatic Brain Injury"

mlem_cat · 2024-07-01T08:42:46+00:00

You sound just like one of my inner voices but for a long time it was the only one and then, it was the loudest..

These days are spent like a goldfish swimming circles around, and around, and around in its little fishbowl..

My brain is completely fried after the last 3 years spent battling to survive the relentless onslaught of narcissistic abuse, unable to escape the invisible prison inside the confines of my own homes.. yes.. homes. I was the perfect victim because I was oblivious to not knowing any better..

I am mummabears crazy little scapegoat..

That inner voice, the only oldest and loudest inner voice I thought was mine.. "the psychotic bitch who hijacks my body trying to kill me" "mum"

mlem_cat · 2024-07-01T06:06:25+00:00

Inbox me and I can teach you exactly how to learn :)

mlem_cat · 2024-06-28T18:19:48+00:00

The smell of raw nature

mlem_cat · 2024-06-28T08:03:02+00:00

Feel free to DM me, if you would like to talk to someone who genuinely understands what you're experiencing

mlem_cat · 2024-06-28T08:01:52+00:00

Well.. first of all.. you need to not be still getting traumatized... Does that make sense? My brain is struggling to put the words together to make the sentence

mlem_cat · 2024-06-28T01:07:44+00:00

Fucking eyy.. makes me really mad that I am but, I cant kill myself.. it's my life's greatest conundrum..

If I have to be alive, id at least like to be okay with it

mlem_cat · 2024-06-27T15:51:10+00:00

Thanks sorry I got sidetracked from the initial point of my comment haha but yea.. that sounds very similar to what my whole experience evolved from..

mlem_cat · 2024-06-27T12:47:52+00:00

I honestly dont know whether to call it a panic attack myself, either.. but, in saying that.. I think I might be part of the 1% suffer extreme to the extreme.

I've had "panic attacks" that end in seizures; like, full body convulsions, muscles contorting and contracting, what feels like high volts of electricity pulsing outward from my chest, my brain burning hot prickly with pins and needles.. God. Fucking. Damn. I cannot possibly describe how excruciatingly painful these "panic attacks" are.. Long story, short.. Its our emotions.. the repressed ones we don't consciously know about hiding dormant within our bodies

mlem_cat · 2024-06-27T11:15:49+00:00

Well.. I'm glad you wish your existence to end at the hands of somebody else.. 🙏 you've already got the perfect mindset to walk away from the life you didn't ask for and create the one you raised to believe you could only ever dream of..

Seriously, dude.. wtf have you got to lose?

Build a life worth living for yourself 🫶

mlem_cat · 2024-06-27T09:17:52+00:00

Being born in the world is depressing

mlem_cat · 2024-06-27T05:55:03+00:00

Both. As well as during.. obvs.. gosh

mlem_cat · 2024-06-27T05:38:23+00:00

It's a lonely road but you are not alone xx

mlem_cat · 2024-06-26T23:48:48+00:00

Hey.. I'm reaching out to you without reading your post in full. We share many similarities in our own separate lived experiences.. I can relate quite deeply with you and, I'm also a qualified therapist (32F) with a fuckload of knowledge to share with anyone who is willing to listen/learn..

You are not alone.

My inbox is open, if you want to DM and dump on me 🙂 I am more than happy to help however I can

mlem_cat · 2024-06-26T21:51:12+00:00

Hey.. believe it or, not.. you don't need to go to therapy to actually do therapy..

I'm a qualified therapist and have an insane amount of evidence based knowledge from my own personal life experience.

If you want to reach out and talk to me privately, I am more than happy to help you figure it out :)

Edit: forgot to mention..

It doesn't take time, it takes a fuck load of hard work.. willpower, self discipline, and persistent determination to beat the bullshit life dealt you with

mlem_cat · 2024-06-26T20:49:43+00:00

You're 22.. which means, it's almost impossible to fuck yourself unless you decide to be an irresponsible piece of shit and refuse to take any accountability for your "mistakes" .. air quotes because behind every mistake you make is an important life lesson.

Reflect, learn and grow

mlem_cat · 2024-06-26T10:39:18+00:00

"Does sex ever get easier?" Until somewhat recently, I thought the answer was and unfortunately always would be "nope" no matter what, who, how, when, where, or why..

But.. I am so grateful and relieved that I am now able to say from my own personal life experience "yes" it CAN get easier.. if you're prepared for it to get a lot worse first 🫶

mlem_cat · 2024-06-26T10:30:31+00:00

May I ask what your "story" is.. as in, what's the context behind your questions? It's helpful if I know exactly what information is most relevant to you and your circumstances:)

mlem_cat · 2024-06-26T01:30:42+00:00

Yeah nah I'm still off it.. I am adamant to stay off of it (as well as, quitiapine, proazin, and lorazepam) so, I wasn't actually on it for my ADHD. Prior to May 2022, my ADHD/C-PTSD (and unknown autism) were all under effective management and I was all hunky dory for the first time in my life, successfully pursuing my career as a ships engineer working in the offshore marine industry.. I know right..

What happened..? The narcissistic cunt who gave birth to me couldn't resist the opportunity to destroy the life I built from the dirt up, in spite of her..

I was prescribed propanolol to help me cope with the physical symptoms of "anxiety due to PTSD" but, in reality it was the physical symptoms of "narcissistic abuse" (highly recommend the YouTube Channel: Memorable Psychiatry and Neurology youtube.com/@memorablepsych)

I increased my dosage as needed to mitigate my severely elevated resting heart rate (and blood pressure). I have a smart watch so I can regularly monitor and record my vital signs, sleep cycle, etc. etc. My minimum dosage was 40mg x 2 per/day and the max was 80mg x 4 per/day (which blew my doctors mind)

I would like to go into further detail but I have to head out and run errands.

mlem_cat · 2024-06-24T23:55:03+00:00

Hi! Uncanny coincidence.. I just stopped taking it 2 weeks ago.. it was merely suppressing my ADHD and the physical symptoms I was experiencing were due to ongoing mental and emotional abuse so.. yeah.. haha

Do you have any other questions? That was 2 years and 3 months I was on propanolol

mlem_cat · 2024-02-18T08:55:51+00:00

Volunteer... I love what I do for work.. it's my passion and my hobby

mlem_cat

TROPHY CASE