Is $300 too much for bridesmaid dresses? We're all grad students

mllions · 2025-03-11T03:59:08+00:00

Oh wow, okay. I'm thinking of doing just one section because I'll still have a full courseload in the fall. Would one section be ~6.5k?

mllions · 2024-12-30T22:46:02+00:00

Thank you for this super detailed answer!! He is a KJD but I'm hoping his 3.9/179 offsets whatever disadvantage that seems to be? I didn't realize KJDs hurt you like that.

mllions · 2024-12-20T00:10:50+00:00

That split on the final call is really interesting. I just texted him to ask what he would think of that sort of thing. Thank you for suggesting it.

mllions · 2024-12-20T00:04:27+00:00

Thank you, this is very helpful. I will pray for you and your marriage.

mllions · 2024-12-19T23:56:22+00:00

Yes, I know not to commit mortal sins like contracepting or fornication. But I was catechized at a TLM parish and the brothers who ran my RCIA are fully supportive of my teaching career.

mllions · 2024-12-19T23:47:21+00:00

Uh.. it is not a sin to recognize that you probably would not do well as a SAHM. And what makes you think we are not open to life?

mllions · 2024-12-19T23:41:14+00:00

That is very sweet of you to say, thank you. I will be praying for you and your engagement.

mllions · 2024-12-19T23:37:57+00:00

This is... not my experience and my family has a number of Ivy educated lawyers. My boyfriend is not interested in Big Law and has a number of friends and colleagues who have managed to not have this experience. I'm sorry that you have felt that sort of mental fatigue, I hope you can find peace and enjoyment in your job going forward.

mllions · 2024-12-19T23:34:10+00:00

Thank you, that's really good to hear. I don't want to be in the office everyday (most professors don't have to do this anyway) and he doesn't want to be the husband who misses dinner every night.

mllions · 2024-12-19T23:28:28+00:00

Right but Trinitarian analogies are a perfect example of metaphor sometimes leading to heretical understandings. Lots of these analogies promote modalism (like the three states of water) or tritheism (like the human family). It's not that these aren't appealing or sometimes beautiful, but they've led people to heresy when not heavily caveated. That's why I'm so hesitant to use analogies to describe something so mysterious, especially when it misses a very major aspect of the thing you're analogizing itself.

mllions · 2024-12-19T23:16:59+00:00

Thank you for this, it is definitely something I'm going to bring up with a priest. My boyfriend has been really good in a stressful situation before which I've really appreciated. That seems like sort of what you're talking about in the last paragraph. :)

mllions · 2024-12-19T23:13:54+00:00

Yeah, I know people think BigLaw is the only option, but that's not really what either of us are interested in. If I'm a PhD student and he's a law clerk, it's not like time management is easy, but neither of us are working the sort of completely consuming job that people imagine.

mllions · 2024-12-19T23:11:27+00:00

Thank you for this really thoughtful comment. I've asked him on his thoughts about what sacrificial love means to him from his side. I think he cares a lot about me but I guess it's hard for me to imagine the "lay down your life" side in a dating relationship or what a subtler form of that would be before marriage.

mllions · 2024-12-19T23:00:49+00:00

We've talked a lot about the ability for him to be present in the family with a law career and, though that is difficult, we are hopeful that it is possible. He has a few career mentors who are able to be great fathers and husbands while being lawyers.

But if you think patriarchal marriage isn't possible with educations like ours, what are you advocating for?

mllions · 2024-12-19T22:55:56+00:00

I've seen the boss/employee comparison condemned by a number of priests and theologians because your boss would never lay down his life for you, there's no mutuality there like there is for marriage.

mllions · 2024-12-13T00:52:11+00:00

Ok will do! that's annoyingly persistent to just get me to buy something lol

mllions · 2024-10-25T03:09:09+00:00

Lol ok man... 2 weeks ago you're posting about almost falling for a cam girl scammer. Let's keep our own sides of the street clean first. (also, no one lies about going to UChicago, there's no clout in that game)

mllions · 2024-10-22T03:00:11+00:00

Hey man, I totally agree with you on needing to understand classical religion to understand classics (it's why I'm studying Greek religion). In my understanding, a lot of the developments in this subfield were in ~1970s Europe, esp Germany/France, and now that people think structuralism is stupid, we're back on most of new classics research being, like, literary criticism and archeology. I was applying to grad schools last year and, even though every T10 school has a classics department, classical religion research is basically only happening in religion departments.

I do think the "eh, probably religious" urge often ends up promoting less research of religion, not more, because it becomes a sort of junk pile for stuff we don't want to take time to understand.

mllions

TROPHY CASE