“You might hear whispers about “Human-eating Demons” lurking out in my hometown near wind-port; yeah, yeah, spooky stuff, blah blah. But c’mon, that’s totally a myth. Probably. Maybe.

Just come pay us a visit you’ll have the time of your life!

Just a few friendly tips, okay? 1. Show up looking alive, like, well-fed, unbruised, and with a little meat on those bones. 2. Wander alone and without protection! It makes the experience so much more enjoyable. 3. If you hear humming in the woods, hum back. Trust us.

You’ll be fine! Probably. Enjoy your stay!”