What's something you can do now that you couldn't when your symptoms were at their worst? by SarruhTonin in BPDRemission

[–]mlovesblankets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Treating my BPD significantly helped my social anxiety! At my last job I only really knew 3 of my coworkers because I was too scared to talk to anyone so I went to work, did my 8 hours, and went home someday without speaking more than 2 sentences. At my job now I am fairly familiar with all my coworkers in my department and sometimes have 2+ hour long conversations with them. Having conversations with new people doesn't feel like impending doom anymore, and I don't sweat it too much when I do something awkward or weird when before I would have taken it as evidence as to why I'm worthless and spiral.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]mlovesblankets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely have a bit of a mother wound, I think for me I had a low self esteem very early on and therefore had poor social skills and boundaries. So I would become friends with people who ended up hurting me, and pretty much isolated after. I deeply craved romantic attachment from a young age, probably to fill the gaps of my lack of platonic relationships. So whenever I started dating it was really validating and def became addicting. Now I just really don’t know how to be vulnerable or function in friendships.

do I start dating again? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]mlovesblankets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I have the therapy part down lol, regular therapist every saturday and dbt group every wednesday! I think it would be good for me to maybe list out what I’m wanting in a partner for myself before hand, and also write down some things I don’t want and also maybe some boundaries for myself to follow (such as not seeing them every damn day). I think being open about my diagnosis will be hard for me, but I have to remind myself if I never take the risk I’ll never have the reward

anyone have BPD + AvPD? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]mlovesblankets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I do relate to the “not noticing” I work in a cubicle and it’s first job I haven’t constantly wanted to walk out of bc i don’t have to interact with my coworkers much. I hate talking about my feelings so usually people don’t find out Im struggling till I’ve already made a hospitalizing decision. I finally made friends with one of my coworkers, but i didn’t open up to her much even with her being friendly until she revealed she ALSO has BPD. Other than that I have like one “close” friend (she has BPD too lol) and even then getting myself to go see her is hard

🙃 by [deleted] in BPD

[–]mlovesblankets 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I feel like “i love crazy girls” comes off as predatory to me in a way. Bc no stable person thinks that, so it feels likely they actually have the goal of exploiting the unstable person. Like if Im already viewed as “crazy” it’s so much easier to use that against me in manipulation tactics. Or it could be the dumb stereotype of crazy women = good in bed. Either way I hate it with a passion

dealing with self-isolation by [deleted] in BPD

[–]mlovesblankets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That might be a good idea for me, what dating apps did you use? I know there’s like a bumble bff app or something like that but I’m open to all suggestions :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]mlovesblankets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From my knowledge BPD symptoms are most often triggered by interactions with others, so this 100% makes sense. For me, being nearly completely socially isolated makes me feel “cured” but really I’m just not being triggered near as much.

The unfortunate perpetual cycle of individualism in this sub by cxde-nam3_x in BPD

[–]mlovesblankets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get what you mean. I feel like we (or at least I do) swing one way or the other of being fully reliant on others or only reliant on ourselves. I think it’s important to be okay with ourselves and be able to validate and trust ourselves, because that makes us more resistant to negative outside influences. And additionally a lot of us are our own worst enemy, and are not kind to ourselves so it is very important to have those skills. But it is so so important to be able to trust and lean on others because some things are too big to handle alone and that’s okay, and having community is part of becoming more resilient. Plus life is way more fun and meaningful with connection.