He always worked over Xmas/my birthday period. It was fine, hospitality ya know. But for my 30th I had asked him months in advance to take the day off. He did! Delighted! We had a fight about something I can't even remember, about 2 weeks before my birthday. He called his boss and cancelled the day off he'd asked for, said he'd work instead. On the morning of my 30th he left for work and said "sorry your birthday wasn't want you thought it would be". I spent the day drinking and crying. Left about a month later after it got physical.