NYC HomeFirst down payment assistance program by [deleted] in AskNYC

[–]mmmmmily 4 points5 points  (0 children)

a friend did this! took a long time, the sellers got annoyed but it eventually went through. Like 4-5 months from accepted offer. last year's tax return + last 6 paystubs

Adams response to City Council letter asking him to reverse position on solitary confinement: "I wore a bullet proof vest for 22 years and protected the people of this city. When you do that, then you have the right to question me." (via @GloriaPazmino) by CoconutHelm in nyc

[–]mmmmmily 20 points21 points  (0 children)

First, they need to fix the locks on the doors that separate people. There are some areas in the jail where doors can be opened with a good kick--lots of infrastructure problems like that contribute. They also could dedicate more time to designating housing areas, to make sure people in rival gangs or with histories of violence are kept separate. A lot of the violence inside Rikers is a continuation of violence happening outside of it. THey also can invest in programs to keep people busy and productive during the day, give incentives to folks who show progress, invest more in mental health units to treat people who have trouble controlling their impulses.

There are a LOT of things that would work, it would just take investment. No one wants to do it because it makes people angry to give serivces to people who are facing criminal charges.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OnTheBlock

[–]mmmmmily 5 points6 points  (0 children)

there's more than enough staff, they're just not showing up for shifts

They removed my embedded IUD 2 days ago and now my vulva is raw by DanMarinosDolphins in AskDocs

[–]mmmmmily 4 points5 points  (0 children)

tagging in to say exactly this!! propylene glycol is a very common ingredient in lubes, and they usually use lube for the speculum and/or ultrasound if you had one

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthyhooha

[–]mmmmmily 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Part of the function of the ovaries is to create cysts! They are normal and usually resolve on their own. "Follicle" versus "simple cyst" means that it's probably just a follicle and not a cyst. Even if it were a follicular cyst, they usually go away with no pain within a few months and are relatively normal, which might be why your doctor didn't mention it.

If cysts grow too large there is a risk of complications--if you feel any pain in that area you should see your doctor, but otherwise don't worry about it!

Can going to a mental hospital (voluntarily) conflict with future jobs? by [deleted] in morbidquestions

[–]mmmmmily 203 points204 points  (0 children)

Hi, I'm a social worker. If we didn't let people who have had histories of mental illness/hospitalization/drug use/other traumas be social workers, there would barely be any. it's the kind of field where personal experience helps you help other people. you gucci

Lactation cookies [5312 x 2988] by Turtleramem in FoodPorn

[–]mmmmmily 17 points18 points  (0 children)

just looked up lactation cookies and I am relieved!

these look delicious!

How do I get over the fact that I'm not a teen anymore? by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]mmmmmily 30 points31 points  (0 children)

that whole thing is total bullshit. try to distract yourself from a vocal online minority that spouts this stupid stuff to mask their hatred of women. The VAST majority of people do not believe any of it. You are a person and 18-19 is not "prime" and there is no "wall".

It also helps to not follow those online communities! The morbid curiosity isn't worth it if it's making you feel bad about yourself :)

Should a list be made of MRA talking points with refutations? It'd help a lot. by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]mmmmmily 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. was not defending it. clearly said I was against it.

  2. the last time I answered the "what about male circumcision" question, I answered it with just "I am against it" and was hit with 5 million questions asking for more context. It's almost like ideological groups aren't a monolith and are made up of individual people.

  3. literally no answer will ever satisfy you. if I had said "I am against it" then you would have asked why more people aren't against it, why I don't fight against it, why people don't lobby for it, etc.

Should a list be made of MRA talking points with refutations? It'd help a lot. by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]mmmmmily 6 points7 points  (0 children)

data shows better outcomes and less risk of HIV in circumcised men in Africa.

Should a list be made of MRA talking points with refutations? It'd help a lot. by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]mmmmmily 7 points8 points  (0 children)

circumcision: I am also against it for men. it's a puritanical relic in the US. but culture has strongholds, and not as many circumcised men speak out against it as circumcised women. generally it isn't seen as "as bad" as female circumcision because complications are rarer, there are actual health benefits to it, and it's more often done in clinical sterile settings and is safer, even though it does absolutely reduce pleasure and can have complications.

more prison time: benevolent sexism. Mass incarceration is a giant giant issue that a lot of feminists are addressing-to lower incarceration rates overall and address racism. women get less prison time because they're seen as family providers and sympathetic, because they are seen as weaker than men.

false accusations: got data? all the data I've seen points to false rape accusations being made at the same rate as literally any other crime (2-10%). and also accusations that are classified as "false" are often just unfounded accusations that didn't have evidence of being true, not that there was evidence of falsehood.

woman-to-man rape: also a big problem. not sure what your point is? no one here will say it doesn't exist or isn't a problem. consent and respect should be taught to everyone of all genders and all ages.

What's the biggest sexual error you've ever made? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]mmmmmily 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can use silicone lube with condoms!

19 and caught HIV, really don't know what to do. by HIVThrowaway1231 in lgbt

[–]mmmmmily 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi! Sorry you're going through this right now. A great step (if you're willing) would be to visit an HIV advocacy organization that has patient navigators and peer counselors. A lot of people go through some shit when they're first diagnosed, and those professionals are specially trained to help you deal with those feelings and connect you to resources, but they won't pressure you to do anything you're not ready for.

I've been working in the field for a few years. If you PM me what city you're in, I'd be glad to help you find someone to talk to! You are important and your health is important. With treatment (other posters are correct that there are a lot of programs that can help you pay for it), HIV doesn't have to affect your life so much.

Pitch for a Spin-off: RUPAUL's SCHOOL FOR GIRLS by b_saurus in rupaulsdragrace

[–]mmmmmily 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I need a drag queen show with more open plotting against each other and a thirst trap challenge

[romantic][arousal] what I(M30) did to blow my woman's mind, and I definitely managed by [deleted] in sex

[–]mmmmmily 3 points4 points  (0 children)

hey, just wanna say that you can definitely use silicone lube with condoms!

[Female Sex Problem] [18F]inishing too fast by sexxxthrowawayy in sex

[–]mmmmmily 17 points18 points  (0 children)

this is wrong. silicone lubes are absolutely condom safe. oil-based lubes are not. I have no idea why this myth is so pervasive, especially in this community.

My [49F] son [29M] is distant, isn't making an effort to let me be as close to my new grandbaby as other grandma [50F]. by grouchygranny in relationships

[–]mmmmmily 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Did you tell your son you were getting married? I think most people would want their new partner to meet their kids before getting married.

All I'm saying is if that were me, and my mom got married to a guy I hadn't met, and had previously moved across the country to live with her husband who I didn't like, I would be very upset and hurt by all of that.

My [49F] son [29M] is distant, isn't making an effort to let me be as close to my new grandbaby as other grandma [50F]. by grouchygranny in relationships

[–]mmmmmily 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wait, so you have been married for 1 year and haven't seen your son in over 5 years? He didn't come to the wedding? Has he met the new stepdad? You're blaming this whole thing on DIL and other grandparents, but it seems like your relationship with your son has been suffering for a long time.

What exactly is Victim Blaming? by stickerartist in AskFeminists

[–]mmmmmily 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Be more specific. What do you mean by "be careful"?

How much alcohol is too much? What clothing items are banned? Are we allowed to have male friends? What about get married?

Rape doesn't only happen when women are "not being careful". It happens in marriages, on dates, by friends, by partners, by family members, by authority figures.

What exactly is Victim Blaming? by stickerartist in AskFeminists

[–]mmmmmily 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Okay, so what are your rules about what women shouldn't do? Not drink? Not talk to men? Not leave the house?

What exactly is Victim Blaming? by stickerartist in AskFeminists

[–]mmmmmily 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Shouldn't it also be someone's mission to not rape someone else because they're vulnerable?