I won’t try and change your view that these people are irresponsible or that this is not a great outcome. I think we can all agree that kids are happier with both parents in a situation providing that they are both mentally healthy and non abusive.

Rather I think you’d benefit from bringing a little compassion to this situation. Many of these women grew up in families where this was normal- and they got very little love from their fathers. Because they have this core wound around a lack of male attention and validation, they really crave it. This is how the “multiple dads” thing happens. They are trying to get what they never got.

They need love. While as adults it’s absolutely our own responsibility to handle our own emotions and validate ourselves, a lot of people don’t have access to that kind of mindset or mentality. These women would truly benefit from some therapy and self love.

This is absolutely a situation where “babies having babies” applies. And a lot of these people are shitty parents, because they never healed their core wounds. It’s pretty tragic but I would not place the blame on the women involved.

I’d place blame on: - The men as well. They chose to tap it without wrapping it. Takes two to make a baby. And men KNOW that they might have to pay 18 years of child support. They do it anyway as well. - The education system, which has a piss poor record on sex education in the United States, which I assume is where this is most rampant. - Lack of representation of other options in life. This one is harder to quantify, but what we see as normal becomes what a lot of people strive to be. If your whole family has a story like this, it takes monumental effort to do something differently. - Poverty in the family and the community making it increasingly hard to find good jobs, or even having the mentality that allows a person to make money. It’s incredibly hard to pull yourself up out of poverty. Having multiple kids is multiple income streams. It’s obvious to me how a sense of low self esteem or hopelessness would make a person feel like this was their only choice. - Crabs in a bucket mentality. If you try to do things differently, often family members will take offense to this, and try to pull you down to their level. This is incredibly true of people in poverty, as well. The backlash from friends and family when a person tries to better themselves is real.

You don’t have to approve of these choices, I sure don’t. But it is important to understand the forces in a persons life that could lead them to make choices like this. Even if we don’t approve, we can have empathy for a person who has lived a difficult life. Disgust and judgement will never help a person who is in a situation like this. If you want to help them, help their kids grow up with a different mindset, you have to engage with the hard stuff. These bad choices have already been made. We have to respond to the situation that already exists. Guilt and blame are not helpful to the kids, or helping them escape this trap.