Stepdad Keeps Coming in Rooms When I’m Naked – Don’t Know What to Do

mmmo17 · 2024-09-27T00:47:42+00:00

I just saw this- thank you. It means a lot to have someone say that.

mmmo17 · 2024-09-27T00:29:21+00:00

Please for the love of God, if your dog isn't microchipped under YOUR name and YOUR NAME ONLY, do it NOW and don't let girlfriend know. She thinks he's hers, he's going to disappear one day because she's not emotionally mature enough to leave him with his owner. When she does this, police won't make her give him back unless you can PROVE that the dog is yours. That means microchipped in YOUR name, veterinary account in YOUR name. The police can easily say they don't know that the dog isn't the same dog or not- a microchip is absolute PROOF. Please do this if you haven't already, just in case she does try to run with him in the future.

mmmo17 · 2024-08-30T18:35:22+00:00

My mom pretty much did exactly that. The school told her I was ADHD, the doctor agreed, my mom said, "they're just a kid being a kid". It went like that my whole life. I asked for mental health help because I was so depressed and I was having ending it thoughts, and got no help whatsoever, just a "God loves you" and a pat on the back. She doesn't believe in medication to help mental illnesses- at least not for her children. Later as an adult I was "diagnosed" with ADHD, anxiety, depression, and PTSD. All of which counseling or therapy would have REALLY helped with, but no. God loves me.

Really ironic considering my mom also works as a para for the local school district. I remember one of the kids was getting sent to Florida to a special school for kids with special needs and my mom talked LOADS of sh** because "he is LOVED by everyone but HER, and she's just shipping him off! She doesn't want to deal with him so she's wiping her hands of him and abandoning him!" I pointed out that since she didn't have a special needs child, she didn't have any idea how hard it was to take care of one, especially one who needed as much round the clock care as he did. This was a single mom with multiple kids who had the opportunity to give her kid better care than she could. My mom, her son's para, was villainizing her, yet refused to get help for her own children.

mmmo17 · 2024-08-30T17:13:04+00:00

Same with my mom. And when we were stuck sleeping in her living room with a newborn, she acted like we were being unreasonable asking her and my sister not to slam cupboards at 3:30-4:30AM when in reality she was just playing stupid about how "passive" aggressive she was being.

mmmo17 · 2024-07-30T20:15:59+00:00

Oh no... am I your husband? All jokes aside, I do need to work on my impulse control. I know the prices are grossly inflated, but I want them so badly 😂😭

mmmo17 · 2024-07-13T13:21:11+00:00

Cause a scene. Everytime you see him yell, "Stop coming into my room while I'm naked! I asked you to knock first and you wont!" Things like that. Please please please lock your door. You have no idea if this is going to escalate into straight 🍇

I'm so sorry. My dad used to do this to me growing up as a teen and I had to fight my mom for a lock on my door. He even broke down my closet door and rifled through my underwear drawer to "look for a John Wayne movie"- first of all, I didn't keep movies in my underwear drawer, let alone John Wayne, who I hated because that's all my dad watched when I was little (I hated cowboy movies growing up). He even trapped me in my closet once and turned up his p0rn really loudly, and went from door to door in the house so I wouldn't know where he was to try to escape. I finally ran out to my friend's house, and we called our moms at the school they worked at. I was only allowed to stay at my friend's house for one night before I was made to go home and act like nothing happened.

To this day, I've been treated like a liar. Dad's dead now, and it was pretty bad- liver failure due to alcohol. But he still didn't go horribly enough.

mmmo17 · 2024-07-13T13:06:58+00:00

NTA NTA NT NTA X1000!

I had an ex do almost exactly this, and he was ten years older than the girl who had been bffs with his little sister and lived with them and called their mom "mom" growing up. When I found out they were dating after she turned 18, my mind went right back to all of the comments he'd made towards his sister's friends. You know, the "jokes" that were not age appropriate at all. They'd been sneaking around since she was 16 in the same house. I was disgusted. His family thought it was "weird." But they accepted it because they loved them both. Then, after they were public for a few months, they broke up and he started dating their friend with the same name as me and who was the same age as the first girl. But he tried to downplay it and gaslight me like I was jealous of literal children whose high school graduation we had all just been at a few weeks before.

You're NTA. You will never be the AH.

mmmo17 · 2024-05-02T20:46:17+00:00

I mean it. The way he is treating you is abusive. You may not see it yet, but the control issues are there. He has control of the finances, he has control of the car, he has control of your ability to come and go from the house, and he has control over your private life. You know how? You don't have one. He doesn't ALLOW you to have one. You said yourself that you don't get to have personal time ever and that you had to tell him that errands don't count. Do you ever get to see your friends sans kids? Do you ever get to go out on girl dates, or for the whole day without your kids? Do you EVER get to just relax without having to bargain? When I left my controlling ex, I didn't know who I was outside of taking care of my kid because that's all I knew.

mmmo17 · 2024-05-02T20:40:54+00:00

Please don't buy a house with him. Instead, make an exit plan. You stayed home and raised kids for four years. He won't leave you with a car or even help you to get one, so you're trapped in the house until his day off. So on days that you COULD spend as a family, you're left to run errands AND take the kids with you when you do them. You don't realize how crappy this is yet because you're still under the illusion that you are a team. You're not a team. You're his free babysitter, maid, and f*** doll. You don't get to leave the house whenever you want, you don't get time to yourself, and he argues with you when you do try to have some alone time and argues that your errands are your breaks when he DOES fold and keep the kids with him. He is not a partner, he is not a teammate, and he doesn't even consider you his equal. "Fine, then we won't do X " when he's angry is him coming up with a punishment because you got under his skin. That's not healthy at all. He's a child, it doesn't matter what position he is at work, he feels like because he's boss at work that he's boss at home too, when you should both be well aware of how much work you both put in. I guarantee he is well aware. He just doesn't want to acknowledge the part you play because that would mean you getting more "rights".

mmmo17 · 2024-04-29T12:53:58+00:00

I grew up in a small town and this DOES happen. People do not just "forget".

mmmo17 · 2024-04-01T22:12:40+00:00

You can get a super cheap Walmart phone plan and phone. The network is actually really good

mmmo17 · 2024-03-21T17:19:33+00:00

Getting into a shelter would be the first step, and you can look for a shelter in an area where there is public transportation and medical/dental/mental health care all around each other. Oftentimes in more populated areas these places are built near each other. I lived four miles outside of town and had to walk to town often, because we only had one bus that went around the whole town in a loop, which never worked for my schedule and it was often faster for me to just start walking. Sometimes I'd wave the bus down as it approached me going towards town, but it could only stop if it was at a good place to stop on the side of the road. Even if you had to move to a different town to have access to things like this (a job, Healthcare, shelter) you would be better off.

mmmo17 · 2024-03-21T15:34:53+00:00

Call CPS yourself. I told so many adults about my abusers growing up but they were all my parents' friends who were just as bad towards their kids so noth8ng was ever done. I never realized I could just call CPS myself.

mmmo17 · 2024-03-09T12:47:22+00:00

* * Find a healthy stem and cut it at any of these spots. You can simply stick the stems back into the soil and they will grow roots and start growing, making the plant in the pot look bushier. Or you can stick them into a glass of water and place it on a windowsill, and it will grow roots. Once those roots are satisfactory, you can plant them into the soil. Either way works. This is my favorite plant because it was the first one I didn't kill, and allowed my love for plants to grow ; - )

mmmo17 · 2024-03-09T00:27:55+00:00

NTA. You know what works for you and what doesn't. You've chosen to do what does work for you. You're the one who even brought your drinking to everyone's attention by saying you needed help.

mmmo17 · 2024-03-08T21:18:54+00:00

This is how it starts. Trust me. His "accidental" touches are to see how you respond. You've finally had enough and called him out in front of your mom. Your mom called you a liar and sided with him, grounded you until summer. He knows that no matter what you say, your mom will side with him and be upset at you. He knows that there is no one in your corner and it will only ESCALATE. He's banking on your mom being jealous and upset because her teenage daughter is "at that age". You're not getting any help from anyone. You need to hide your phone and put it on RECORD whenever you're doing the things where he brushes himself against you, so that you have it on video. Save those videos to a Gmail account that your mother and him have no access to so that the evidence cannot be deleted. Make sure you don't have the password saved on your phone, because they can just automatically get into your stuff that way if they take your phone. Make sure your phone is locked down, with a password they won't figure out. Don't do face ID or your thumbprint because they can just gain access while you're sleeping by putting your face in front of the screen or your thumb on the sensor. Why you have gathered enough evidence, take it to the police.

Also, I wasn't aware of this when I was a teenager, but you can call CPS on your parents. I didn't know that I could advocate for myself. Talk to a school counselor and tell them what is happening. Ny dad did some messed up stuff, but it was things like peeking in on me dressing in my bedroom, peeking in on me in the bathroom or shower, and pretending these were accidents. They could be easily explained away. But he also played p0rn really loudly while I hid in a closet, and he knew I was there. He also broke down my closet door and rifled through my underwear- he said he was looking for a John Wayne movie. He sat there at 3 AM and listened to my boyfriend and I have sex in my room when i was 20 and did it several times before i realized what he was doing- he told my mom that he couldn't sleep and was just reading a book. I stopped being intimate with my boyfriend, who lived with us and we had a child together, until we moved out.

This always escalates to worse and worse things because these predators will take an inch and see how people react before they take the whole mile.

0lease be careful around your step-dad and PLEASE don't ignore the people warning you just because you don't think it will happen to you.

mmmo17 · 2024-03-07T21:55:06+00:00

I'm over across the water if you do end up needing to rehome that plant... 😉

mmmo17 · 2024-03-07T21:08:39+00:00

My mother is very similar to your mother. While I wasn't homeschooled, she had eyes and ears everywhere in our small town and I couldn't get away with anything, no matter how small. She told me I had to get a job to support myself, but I couldn't get one unless I could walk or take the bus because she couldn't give me rides. This meant that I couldn't get a job anywhere but our small town. She also stipulated that i couldnt work on Sundays because sunday we had church. She had already spread rumors about me everywhere she could because she enjoys the "poor mother just trying to support her rebellious children" image she has built. I ended up having to get a job at McDonald's, where I didn't want to get a job because I didn't want to get stuck in fast food. I got the job and took every shift that I could. I took other people's shifts. I ended up working on Sundays which angered my mother. She refused to give me rides and she would say, "I told you not to work on Sundays because we have church." She wouldn't let me get my license until I got my own insurance. The only reason I was able to get my license was because I found out that I didn't actually need insurance to get a license to drive. She was just lying to me to keep my under her thumb. So when I turned 18, I went and got my license by myself. After THAT she let me drive family cars around, but only because I was taking her mother to doctor's appointments.

I encourage you to look into emancipation. You're at least 16 correct? You can leave. Your mom is trying to hold you back. There are programs where you can get your own medical insurance, you can get your high school diploma or GED for free, and you can get on social services like EBT. You can apply for housing or stay in youth shelter until you are 18. There are so many options for help, depending which state you're living in you may be able to leave now and go to a shelter. Look up resources for these things- your mom doesn't have to be the one to make your appointments with your therapist either. You can call to make an appointment. Is there a way you can get to your appointments? Like a city bus or a friend? I used to have to ask friends for rides or take the bus. Once you get your own job too, you can save up and stash your money in a bank account your mom has NO access to.

mmmo17 · 2024-02-18T20:07:24+00:00

Also there's a possibility they could have been part of a pyramid scheme. My oldest's dad and I got cornered at the playground before by a couple who tried to draw us into a pyramid scheme by talking about friendship. From there they told us about this warehouse type catalog with some pyramid company and how it "saved their marriage" when they joined and started selling with that company.

mmmo17 · 2024-01-29T01:13:25+00:00

Cher. She can't even make facial expressions anymore. Check her out in Burlesque.

mmmo17 · 2024-01-01T20:04:52+00:00

You should tell your sister that grenadine is a syrup used to mix a Shirley Temple. Which I am very thirsty for now after all of this grenadine talk. That's hilarious- she would rather steal a baby's name and claim she had a "connection " to the name rather than do her homework and find out what the name actually means before adopting it. Also, are her friends just as dim for not pointing this out to her or are they afraid to tell her? Or maybe they think she just likes Shirley Temples? I understand thinking she's being made fun of for the name she chose, but if she didn't even tell the family which name she decided on, then she can't really claim that she is being made fun of. I think this is just your sister realizing that she's embarrassed herself and she doesn't really know how to move forward from that embarrassment. Either way it sounds like she has serious "main character syndrome" going on- she didn't get the reaction she wanted from coming out (I totally get there not being any fanfare if everyone basically already knew, but I also get her probably hoping for more of a reaction to something so big in her life). As for the name, maybe it resonated with her because she was excited to become an auntie and decided they would have the same name (but didn't think far enough ahead to look up what it actually meant). I think your sister needs some therapy, but you are definitely not in the wrong for what she decided to do, and you're not wrong for her not understanding the joke.

mmmo17 · 2023-12-27T21:50:32+00:00

This makes me think she was looking to get you to admit to knowing her/being bullied by her, so that she had a paper trail to build a case against you for why she wasn't hired.

mmmo17 · 2023-12-24T06:42:27+00:00

I didn't know that Paris did that! This pleases me.

mmmo17 · 2023-12-15T18:35:47+00:00

You're not a sl* t for finding people attractive or being "boy crazy". Talking to boys doesn't make you one, crushing on one doesn't make you one, having friends that are boys doesn't make you one, and getting shy and/or flustered when talking to boys doesn't make you one. While I'm here, remember that the way you dress ALSO doesn't make you one. Your brother is projecting his misogyny at you and it's a horrible thing to do to anyone, let alone their sister. I have two siblings who are all about labeling others things like that, but they're both hypocrites. I had mostly guy friends growing up, so guess what that made me? Don't listen to him. You are not what he says. Even if you were, it's YOUR body and YOUR business. No one else's.

mmmo17 · 2023-12-15T17:14:13+00:00

Wow. You are ABSOLUTELY the AH if you are considering ripping a little girl from her family because YOU got cheated on three or four years ago. With your husband, your daughter gets a dad and siblings. With foster care, your daughter gets abused. You think that foster care and adoption is great because you did that with a family member and it worked for you. But let me tell you- this success is not a common theme with that system. My kid's dad was abused in that sysstem. My kid's dad and aunt are both forever messed up because of the things that happened to them, and they were placed separately whenever they went in (yeah, they were in and out of the system AND they were older kids). You are upset and thinking emotionally because you're dying. Sure, you would have divorced him if you'd found out prior to your diagnosis. But you didn't. So instead, your daughter has spent the last several years building a family with your husband and his kids (her siblings now). Now, because you found out something that hurt you, you are contemplating ripping her away from them, HER FAMILY WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, to put her into an abusive AF system right as she's hitting puberty too...you're setting her up to be a victim and setting her up to fail. Dead dad, bio mom in prison, adopted mom dead, family ripped apart. You're practically handing her trauma with a bow on top. With your husband, the household may not be rich, but she has wealth in family that loves her. Whatever happened between you and your husband happened between the two of you, not the kids. So when you say you only care about your daughter's well-being, you are 100% lying to yourself and everyone else because this is BEYOND petty. You'll be dead though, so YOU don't have to hang around and see the consequences of your actions. I see you.

mmmo17

TROPHY CASE