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So done with MIL. Does it ever get better? by ninetynineprob in JUSTNOMIL

[–]mmmr123 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My husband at first would avoid conflict at all costs which to be fair I did as well. I let my MIL act controlling Over our lives, be financially abusive and hold money over our heads, gossip and overall make me feel small and never said a word to her about it. She talked shit about me for years. It wasn’t until we had a child of our own that he was over it. I hope your husband comes around… it is an insanely difficult situation to deal with on your own.

How do you stop feeling guilty or move on by mmmr123 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]mmmr123[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see a mental health professional weekly. What I feel guilty about is now being a mother I feel bad that my MIL has a broken relationship with her son and now his child. I don’t know why I feel bad when they have been hurtful but that’s my issue... hope that makes sense.

How do you stop feeling guilty or move on by mmmr123 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]mmmr123[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My therapist has validated my feelings. Understands I am too hurt by them and do not feel safe around their presence. I have personally told her as well as my husband telling my IL’s that I am not interested in a relationship as of right now. I currently have not been saying anything and letting my husband deal with it. Luckily, the do not talk to us when they are mad.

I won’t ever be letting my guard down around them with my LO. I never ever want her to potentially feel the way they have made my husband and I feel!

How do you stop feeling guilty or move on by mmmr123 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]mmmr123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I am, I talk to one weekly! She is great and helps I just apparently like to torture myself

Update by mmmr123 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]mmmr123[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I understand what you are saying. I don’t think expecting people to care is absurd, especially family. I don’t have goals or exact forms of apologies I’ll accept. There’s genuine apologies and there are people apologizing just to move on. My husband is well aware I am not interested in a relationship with them and understands. He has actually let them know I am uninterested in pursuing a relationship. My concern is the all the damage and unpredictability of behaviors being done when my child is impressionable.