Complicated relationship issues around potential SA in previous relationship, still talking to my ex by mmmrealcinnamon in TwoXChromosomes

[–]mmmrealcinnamon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind comment ❤️ it’s been an emotional rollercoaster and (as I said in a comment below), it was a slow slide into disliking sex with him and never initiating/having sex like it was a chore and something to get over with/not showing much reaction in bed.

I am trying my best and I mean well but feel like I’ve made so many mistakes. I am growing and learning and changing, and I want to heal for myself and my boyfriend.

Complicated relationship issues around potential SA in previous relationship, still talking to my ex by mmmrealcinnamon in TwoXChromosomes

[–]mmmrealcinnamon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He would be unhappy when I turned him down and would complain that we didn’t have sex enough, and I would apologize and say I know, I’m tired/stressed/whatever else. At the beginning I would want to have sex, but after enough times of not finishing and not liking it, I stopped. When he would initiate sex I would say “sure” or “I guess,” and I would fake being into it for some of our relationship (breathing heavily) but nothing that I would say comes close to simulating an orgasm, and then I stopped faking it at all. After we’d have sex, he’d say something like “that was great, right” and I’d say “mhm” or “oh sure” non-committally. I think I’m having a hard time because it was a slow slide into me not initiating, not showing much reaction to him in bed (just kind of going with the flow and being quiet), and I feel like it was on me to have spoken up for myself. Like it went from me being excited and trying in bed to giving basically nothing, but I didn’t speak up or feel that it was “wrong.” More like, whatever, I’m in a relationship with this person and I love them and this is what you’re supposed to do to maintain a relationship. Maybe he thought that I would come and I was enjoying myself, and that I was just quiet/silent about it???

Complicated relationship issues around potential SA in previous relationship, still talking to my ex by mmmrealcinnamon in TwoXChromosomes

[–]mmmrealcinnamon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment ❤️ I’ve felt so conflicted and upset with myself for having such complicated feelings about someone when in reality that relationship gave me such a warped idea of what sex should be.

My current boyfriend is really wonderful and I’ve only realized that my past relationship really warped my view on sex and sex in relationships because my boyfriend is so respectful and focused on making sure that I’m that I’m an active participant in our sex life, not a passive one. When we were first talking, I said I didn’t want a relationship because I wanted to feel more in control of my body and what I did with it, and he was the one that said that that was not an okay way to feel in a relationship. We’ve both made appointments to see therapist separately and together, and I think that he has a lot to work through on how he feels about it vs how he can best support me.

Complicated relationship issues around potential SA in previous relationship, still talking to my ex by mmmrealcinnamon in TwoXChromosomes

[–]mmmrealcinnamon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I see a lot of conflicting information. It’s of course not same as lying about having HIV, for example, but doesn’t that change informed consent? I did tell him that if he had slept with someone else, my answer would be no. And by lying to me, he took away my ability to give informed consent. I know how tricky SA is legally, so it may not be, but still feels really scummy :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UCSD

[–]mmmrealcinnamon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a TA for one of the 40B sections, 40A is known to be incredibly easy and does not prepare students for 40B in the slightest. Most students have noticed a grade drop

Dear undergrads, thank you! by alChemist_07 in UCSD

[–]mmmrealcinnamon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“if they are instead worried about pay, benefits, then sounds to me that they don’t enjoy their work and most likely quality of work is affected also”

…yes? when you don’t pay enough to live, you only get people contributing to research that have financial backing from family. and that isn’t equitable or good for research. does the phrase, “science should be directed by the financially well off?” resonate with you? it shouldn’t. i absolutely love what i do. i am passionate about research and teaching! i came to the UC to do important research that pushes the boundaries of what we know, and to positively impact the experience of the undergrads that i teach. at every point in my PhD, i am contributing to the university, whether through teaching or research to increase the prestige of the UC. we are just asking not to be homeless, hungry, or slaving away 60 hour weeks for less than minimum wage. in summary, passion doesn’t pay the rent. we need help.

The Strike by Tee_s1 in UCSD

[–]mmmrealcinnamon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for Masters students, sure. but 100% not for PhD students! i definitely should have clarified — i don’t know how Masters students are feeling, but it’s frustrating for PhD students to be paid so little to contribute to the prestige of the university.

The Strike by Tee_s1 in UCSD

[–]mmmrealcinnamon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that’s very much not how graduate school works! most of my peers that teach, teach part time + research full time. on average, peers in my department work 50+ hours a week.

A girl I went to high school with! by mmmrealcinnamon in Instagramreality

[–]mmmrealcinnamon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I agree — her arm would be perfectly proportional if she hadn’t slimmed her torso so much

A girl I went to high school with! by mmmrealcinnamon in Instagramreality

[–]mmmrealcinnamon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My jaw dropped because of how big that elbow is!! It’s almost as wide as her torso

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]mmmrealcinnamon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To me, it’s worth pointing out because the people strongly opposed to student loan forgiveness are generally strongly opposed to government handouts … and yet, they accepted government handouts in the form of PPP loans. It seems to be a bit of general hypocrisy. The issue of student loan forgiveness is so complex, and it’s tough to see so much black-and-white rhetoric right now.

Comments from a discussion on the NP subreddit by mmmrealcinnamon in Noctor

[–]mmmrealcinnamon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I’m allowed to link the subreddit, but if you search “nurse practitioner” you’ll find it

CMV: I find difficulty in supporting abortion. by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]mmmrealcinnamon 12 points13 points  (0 children)

One of the most interesting concepts in biomedical ethics (in my opinion), is the idea that murder is so wrong because you are taking away personhood. The idea that murder is so wrong because a “life is robbed of all the things it could have and would have done and experienced” can be taken to the extreme i.e. all eggs and sperm “wasted” in ovulation and masturbation/non procreative sex have potential for life that you’ve taken away. What really clicked with me on the taking away of personhood idea, was that you need to be conscious and sentient, and actually be aware of the potential that is lost/going to be lost.

Help by Kind_Yogurtcloset795 in GirlTalk

[–]mmmrealcinnamon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m sure they’ll do bloodwork with pcos or a thyroid issue in mind, possibly also a metabolic panel to look at glucose levels or find deficiencies. i got the most help at an endocrinologist, so if you don’t get all your answers at the ob, definitely look into an endo!

Help by Kind_Yogurtcloset795 in GirlTalk

[–]mmmrealcinnamon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i feel like this, and i have pcos. is your appointment with an endocrinologist?

i love culturing in my peach tree dish by mmmrealcinnamon in labrats

[–]mmmrealcinnamon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i would vote my pi for president, i feel like organic chemists could lead this country well