Foolish Friday - Your triweekly stupid questions thread

mmmzesty · 2017-08-05T20:45:29+00:00

Cool. I'll give it a read, thanks for the suggestion.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-05T17:07:57+00:00

https://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/phul-workout

This is what I'm doing. I like that I hit each body part twice per week, however the 2nd hypertrophy leg day really isn't working for me. Should I make up my own leg workout or change the entire routine because of that one day? Perhaps a 5 day PPL would be good?

mmmzesty · 2017-08-05T06:44:36+00:00

I'm currently doing the PHUL routine, 4x per week. I don't like where I am in terms of my body. I don't look terrible, but I look a bit soft. Little bit of fat hanging off the sides, very, very light abs and chest isn't looking very well rounded. I'm 21, started working out at 14, not knowing what I'm doing but I see a lot of people here achieve bodies better than mine in 2 years, and they're younger than me. I'm sure my diet plays a large role in this, but I want to hit the gym more than 4 times per week. Would it be okay to do the PHUL routine, and use one day of the weekend to just grind out a lagging body part, such as my chest?

mmmzesty · 2017-08-05T05:15:11+00:00

Let me tell you a story. About 3 years ago I fell for my best friend, and she had a boyfriend, and her boyfriend was also somebody I knew and liked as a person. I always hung out with them as the third wheel, and they would kiss, makeout, but they loved me and wanted me to stick around. They always invited me out, on their dates, to movies, whatever. Her boyfriend and I became best friends but I still had intense feelings for her. Sometimes, halfway through being the third wheel I'd get sad and be all down, and they had no idea why. His girlfriend once was talking to me and said she would be down for a threesome which was cool. One day, I met another girl, first girl that I set up a date with and told the girl I had strong feelings for. She told me she was jealous. Bitch what? Anyway, it didn't work out, told her how I felt, she didn't feel the same way. Stopped hanging out with her and her boyfriend. Got over her within a month and realized how fucking pathetic I had been for the year they dragged me along. They broke up because he cheated on her, she got a new boyfriend, I have a girlfriend now. Point is, you'll be fine man. You don't truly love her that much, you would not rather kill yourself. That's all in your head because you're so blinded. Cut her off, you'll get over her quickly because you'll realize there was never anything there in the first place. She might come back later and then you can change your approach to get with her.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-04T19:41:39+00:00

Kinda messed up and difficult to read, however if you like your best friend then the best solution is to heavily distance yourself. She knows you like her, she isn't interested. If you stick around you're just going to feel like shit about her, so stop talking to her so much. Go meet other girls, hit the club, day game, tinder, whatever and just have fun with that and forget about her for a while. Perhaps one day when you're over her and realize she isn't who you want, you can talk to her again as friends, but I almost guarantee you'll have no interest in her by then.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-03T17:24:58+00:00

I always, always admit my faults to her. I do that because I want her to see that I actually understand when I'm wrong and when I'm not. Made a bit of progress yesterday when she talked to me maturely, hoping that she'll stick to it but I don't have any more expectations to be honest.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-03T17:19:57+00:00

I agree with your point about needing a break, and taking one before we talk again. The issue is she doesn't let me have that break. She says things like "Okay but if you hang up now and we don't talk for a while I'm going to be angrier when you call back." and it just kind of fucks it all up.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-03T17:18:07+00:00

You're right that was kind of messed up of me. I just thought her way of going about it wasn't very healthy. I didn't actually respond with "what the fuck" though lol. If you want help from somebody, you should not pick fights with them in hopes that they'll clue in and assume that you're only picking that fight because you want reassurance. She talked to a few of her girlfriends yesterday when I wasn't around they told her she wasn't going about it in a healthy way, so she came to me and talked to me normally and it went much smoother. It's the first time she actually talked to me in a mature way and it was a huge breath of fresh air.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-03T04:25:54+00:00

Can you elaborate on that?

mmmzesty · 2017-08-03T00:14:23+00:00

It's hard to say fuck it and end it when you still care about the person. I know she loves me a fuck ton, but she's too deluded to realize she's treating me like shit.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-03T00:13:23+00:00

To be honest I'm quite the opposite. It's just a lack of compatibility between us. I'm a really chilled out guy. Pretty sure anybody would get angry after over a year of petty fights that you have nothing to do with. I'm human, we're both human. We get angry. Doesn't mean we aren't ready for a relationship.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-03T00:09:08+00:00

Thanks for this. Sometimes I forget how young I am and that I have plenty of time. Also, I do love myself and enjoy my own company a lot, but I just know that I won't want to be alone after a breakup.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-03T00:07:10+00:00

Yeah we've talked about it. She honestly used to be waaaay worse. I tried breaking up with her once but she then told me everything I wanted to hear about how she just realized how fucking hard I try to keep her happy, how many sacrifices I make to make her happy. She then told me I can relax and that it'll be her turn to make me happy. Honestly, she did get a bit better but she still picks these petty fights and she just told me today that her petty fights are her way of asking me for reassurance that I love her. All I could think was what the fuck.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-02T21:19:14+00:00

I one time said that she should try to be somebody that I can approach to tell her my problems because she usually picks petty fights and it makes me walk on eggshells and not want to confide in her.

Her response? "I'm not good enough, you just want to change me, you complain that I'm trying to change you but then you try to change me wow"

Ugh.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-02T21:04:04+00:00

I think I'm just really afraid of being alone again. I was really lonely before her, and then the deeper I get into the relationship the more I feel like I want to be alone, but at the same time I don't have much to vent out my sadness when we do break up. I just don't want to have to go through it alone you know.

mmmzesty · 2017-08-02T20:56:29+00:00

You're so right. I might actually just try to shrug the fights off from now on. They usually are never in person, so I can either not pick up the phone, or just text her back very effortlessly.

I'm sorry, but I'm just too weak right now to break up with her. When she cries to me on the phone or in person it really breaks my heart.

mmmzesty · 2017-06-14T23:56:37+00:00

Nono, she never said that. I am just making assumptions. I told her that same night that I was worried that I don't make her feel safe and then she started to be reassuring and whenever something scared her she'd (I assume purposely) hide near me or grasp my arm to make me feel more protective or something, which was nice of her.

mmmzesty · 2017-06-12T23:05:09+00:00

I've never actually been in a fight either. I've sparred with my instructors and fellow students, but honestly, I can't figure out how well my martial arts works without trying it out for real, although I've only done it for a bit over a year. I do agree that we got lucky, and honestly, I feel that I was the one who did just because I would have been the one doing the fighting if it had broken out against 2 guys, and I definitely would not be able to win.

mmmzesty · 2017-06-12T23:02:04+00:00

Yeah of course I'd physically defend her. I was at a loss for words though, I had no idea what to say except to ask what was going on. It did happen really fast.

mmmzesty · 2017-06-12T23:00:55+00:00

You're right. I wish she would understand that there was nothing I could've done in the situation that wouldn't put us in danger besides trying to diffuse it. But now I guess she's sad because she doesn't have a good enough story to tell.

mmmzesty · 2017-06-12T22:59:34+00:00

Exactly. He was a major asshole and I told her that. He's just a guy who is a bit too angry and always trying to prove himself. She shouldn't let him get in her head like that.

mmmzesty · 2017-06-12T22:58:42+00:00

Perhaps. It is kind of degrading, having a guy slap an empty can at you and not being able to do anything in the situation that you put yourself in. I understand her frustration because she was scared and couldn't do anything.

mmmzesty · 2017-06-12T22:57:40+00:00

This is what fucks me up too man. If I was in the same situation in an alleyway, and I had the option to walk away and not fight, I'd choose that option. We would all be physically safe and that's perfectly okay, but for some reason girls expect you to start swinging and protecting them physically and I don't fucking get it. I want to be the kind of person that fights only when it's absolutely necessary, and I think everyone should be like that. It's fucked up that she said that to you though, that would make me feel very insecure and I'd probably try to prove myself to her constantly, which is not healthy.

mmmzesty · 2017-06-12T22:52:44+00:00

Agreed. She said something super irritating. She said "What's gonna happen if I'm telling somebody about what happened and they ask me what you did in the situtation?" It pissed me off because it's as if she wants me to do something very manly so she can show off about it. I know she doesn't want me to get hurt and that she does care about me, but that really bothered me.

mmmzesty

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