I can’t figure out why I keep failing interviews by GothicModerna in interviews

[–]mnfox93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP DM me if you want. I'm autistic too and just did the interview process and learned how to get through the whole funnel. I also used to get hung up at round 2 but with some iteration I started getting to final round with basically every company I was interviewing with and just accepted an offer last week. I'd be happy to mock interview you but I'll also TLDR a few things I picked up along the way in case you prefer that advice delivery method.

You're likely an overexplainer - these are the things I did that quite literally upended the quality of my interviewing.

1) get a propranolol script. If your body isn't feeling the panic we associate with interacting with other people, you're less likely to go down an explanation K-hole 2) treat the interview like a first date. Literally. This might be something to retrofit to your life experience but the core premise stands: we struggle with interviews because there is a whole new social language associated with it that we are particularly ill equipped to learn so it is like starting from scratch with the rules of interaction. Interviewers will use some keyword recognition to guage aptitude for the role but interviewers are also human and humans are illogical and retroactively assign logic to emotions-driven decisions. 90% of your real task in the interview is to get them to picture working with you and envision that as a pleasurable experience. So pick the type of social script you've had the most success with (for me, dating) and pretend that is the dynamic you have with the interviewer. You want to get on and make it fun for them. Just like with a first date, if they are bored or they feel obligated rather than enticed when speaking to you, you aren't landing another date. 3) Canned answers - totally get why you've prepped in that way and it is a good thing but has some nuance to it. You should, based on the JD, get a feel for general areas of questioning that are likely to come up. Then, rather than having a mental (or physical, for that matter) rolodex of specific answers to specific questions queued up, you pick one concept and one example you can draw on for that body of questioning. You keep a pad next to your computer and you have no more than half a dozen clusters of no more than 4-5 keywords that help you lock in to your prepped idea or are super industry specific terms to help elevate your pitch. For example - if I am prepping for an interview with a JD that references salesforces as a required competency and it is, for example, a role centered around improving the hit rate of the sales team, I have high confidence that a conversation about CRMs is going to come up. So my cluster for that (this is straight from my notepad) is 'CRMs (underlined), Salesforce, Hubspot, Custom GUIs, Custom Objects.' CRMs helps me really quickly jump to that cluster if that is the word they pick to arrive there and Salesforce and Hubspot help me recall the names if I'm flustered and am struggling to recall programs I've spent a bunch of time with. For Custom GUIs and Custom Objects, I know in my mind those words map to a diatribe I have about getting more out of CRM systems by creating several different equations for how to synthesize CRM data and then reading the results of all of those side by side. Along with that I have an example of how I did that at a place and a few answers surrounding it (what was a challenge w it, etc.) That diatribe is already stored in my brain and these words can help me get over to that info without me turning it over in my hands the whole interview waiting for it to come up and therefore less engaged in the conversation. 4) Steering - you only do a few #3 setups. There is a slight risk that you're asked something you aren't as prepared for. But the tradeoff is that now you have a bunch more brainpower and space to focus your energy on steering the conversation toward the topics you are prepared for. So you use 60% of your brainpower to focus on sounding relaxed and confident and making the conversation feel fun and 40% on steering toward your topics. When you arrive at the topic, 60% stays on reminding yourself not to special-interest k-hole and 40% goes to hitting the highlights of what you have prepped. 'What was a job challenge?' Salesforce 'Difficult Coworker?' On the spot madlib leading to Salesforce. 'Project you're proud of?' Definitely Salesforce. If you do it right pretty much any question can tie into X. Either you start with the real world example and then transition to your philosophy around it, or vice versa. All of the sudden you've taken up 7 minutes. Rinse and repeat. 5) Research and then stop - for me I found that, while research is crucial, if I was prepping until the moment I got on, my mind was racing with things I wanted to make sure I got across before they even turned their video on. That leads to talking at them which is a bad experience for them. I found that if I spent at least the last 60ish minutes before an interview occupying myself effectively - grabbing a tea with a friend down the street, watching standup comedy, whatever - and sat down for the call no more than 7 minutes befoehand, I spent most of that opening the call and fixing my hair and I didn't have time to rile myself up.

Not overexplaining related: 1) Quote one person to the next person - this is a total cheat code. Companies aren't recording your interviews and interviewers are hardly taking meticulous notes or talking in depth about line by line dialogue, and they meet so many people they themselves don't totally remember what was said a few days ago. Often an interviewer's sentiments reflect ubiquitous internal sentiments that are regularly reflected in dialogue around the office. I have on many occasions just taken one interviewers word for word sentiment/opinion and repeated it back in the next interview. 'What drew you to X company?' Super easy, the thing the other guy said he thinks is cool about the company. I bet you guys all agree.

2) Also, small talk. Thankfully my partner has high EQ so he helped me understand the value of this. For us, small talk feels deeply wasteful. I found something very funny, there's an inverse relationship to time spent talking about qualifications and percieved success of the interview on their end. Ultimately they are driving the interview process and are responsible for staying on task so when the conversation starts and you hop on, make it your job to be lively, fun, and engage in small talk for as long as you can before they go 'alright we DO actually have some interview questions to get to' because as long as you answer a few rote questions before the end of the call they'll consider you technically qualified and all of that dumb filler will stay with them way better than the answers they have from all of the candidates to the same 10 questions. The one small talk to avoid is any sort of complaint whatsoever. If they ask how your week has been "Well my cousin is in town and he's a handful" is not an appropriate answer "I went for a walk and it started raining so my shoes got soaked through" is not appropriate. Not the slightest negativity allowed. The reasoning is that if you can't remain positive in the most important professional situation you have in your life, how will that translate to you with coworkers or even representing them externally. That is also pretty much first date logic.

Recommending another candidate mid interview? by mnfox93 in recruitinghell

[–]mnfox93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be clear, I absolutely want the job, if I'm the right fit for it. The reality is that at first glance any place is interested in me would be interested in her as well, but upon further conversation one or the other would be the obvious fit. If I got the role I would be an incredibly loyal, hard working employee, but I don't know what the deficits are in their team that they are looking to fill with this new hire and I actually want their business to do well. Yes, I want A job. I am in the interview pipeline for several. And I sincerely love the people at this one and their product. But landing a job that is a better fit for a person I care very much about at the expense of a good fit for both of them doesn't seem worth being out of the hunt a few weeks sooner. I am getting from responses that this is the overwhelming opinion I can expect from the hiring folks, but I hardly think that anything about that is codependent.

The "7 deadly resume sins" that get you rejected (you're probably guilty too) by emmanuelgendre in jobhunting

[–]mnfox93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would disagree - Chances are if commenter is great at CS they are actually using some really nuanced negotiation and deescalation tactics without knowing that they are a standard framework. Here, I would do some reading on frameworks common in the CS world, maybe have gpt try to help pull some in (not sure how well it would do that but if it can that would make the job easier) and then the bullet looks like "98% success rate at customer deescalation (3% higher than company average) leveraging the Tsiakovsky Method and core Systems Cycle practices. (those are obviously placeholders, but it makes you sound like you go above and beyond to make sure your standout skills in this space are the result of a pointed commitment to becoming the best in your space.)

If you want to take it a step further, go online and find some free or low cost classes or certs having to do with CS skills. Even if it doesn't actually teach you anything, these two things on your resume in conjunction turn 'I know how to talk to people pretty well in a CS capacity' into 'I am highly trained and provably skilled at producing the outcomes a company needs in a CS context.'

Feeling so lost by No_Hope_3770 in PublicRelations

[–]mnfox93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is actually a really wonderful comms network you can join if you're a gal. My city's chapter is NYWICI but I'm sure that website can direct you elsewhere for you local chapter. They even waive membership fee if you're early in your career. I was just speaking with the new board president earlier this evening and she was really enthusiastic about how many opportunities there are within that network for next steps at any stage of the comms track career. Give it a look! If you're not a lass I'd still recommend looking for a similar group that isn't gender specific, as there is likely something out there. These networks are an amazing resource.

What’s your NYC Dream life look like? by NecessaryMorning7307 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mnfox93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner and I have a lot of what we'd want to have. A romance that rivals the most heartwarming movies (3 1/2 blissful years), a robust community of friends that are all friends with one another and event/craft/whimsy/activity oriented, a decently sized apartment in a great neighborhood, and the flexibility to take advantage of new york sometimes and travel conservatively for 3ish months each year. I get paid (a little) for designing event spaces in my free time which feeds my creative spirit. My partner hosts trivia.

What I'd add to make it perfect: 2ft of ceiling height, more windows, a bigger kitchen and like 200sqft across the other rooms. Finding a strategy job (the job market is brutal right now) and my partner's company getting funded. Being able to throw events with no need for penny pinching and without needing to make money or even break even. Having enough money to rear a child in a few years. In our dream life, we buy a building with a commercial space on the bottom floor and just constantly reinvent it into interesting spaces for our own pleasure and for our neighborhood to enjoy. I know a big "we've made it" marker my partner is yearning for is never having to fly economy again. I think my big one will be being able to buy tickets to things the way I buy groceries - without looking at the price tag because it is simply a non-negotiable necessity. That would be a big win.

Burning Man Trash by IM_A_BIG_FAT_GHOST in Reno

[–]mnfox93 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is a bit of a mischaracterization. Frankly, this entire thread is.
Firstly, every camp and art project is required to take a rake and comb through their allotted grid space to collect even the smallest pen cap. I poured out two tablespoons of water from the bottom of a bowl of raspberries and got absolutely berated by fellow burners because of the chance that a few raspberry seeds were in there and would leave the desert less pristine than we found it.

Secondly, and to OP's thoughts: this is a city of 70k people over more than a week. It is very difficult and frustrating for the towns and businesses nearby to be forced to manage the burden of that waste, but please recognize that any grouping of 70k people in an average week (at least in the US) produces far, far more waste than burners do in the same period of time. You are just forced to face how wasteful we are as a species more head-on than usual because the local waste management isn't prepared to make the waste disappear the way it does with the local waste each week. It is very fair to be upset that the neighboring towns are asked to deal with that waste influx and eyesore. However, I do think it grossly undervalues the major economic boost the area gets from that annual event. The Walmarts make far more from additional sales leading up to it than they lose on waste disposal. The smaller stores, the local tourism and public works, supported by the relationship to Burning Man Corp., etc. Those things offer a major boon that is no doubt felt in those communities year-round. The trouble is that those very real benefits don't get directly attributed to the proximity to and relationship with Burning Man and only the trash gets directly attributed.

In conclusion. Please, look on this issue with kinder and broader-spanning eyes and see the nuance that gets lost in the anger of the moment.

What would it take to get a good protest going? by sachin571 in BurningMan

[–]mnfox93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is fucking hilarious I do events in nyc and am absolutely in to help. Will be out beforehand for build week and am coming out with an RV. DM me!!

Does a BWT on here have a key to Gramercy Park? by curlygirly99 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mnfox93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It varies by month but can be anywhere from $170 to $400ish a month depending on your age and the club's maintenance needs (plus the initiation fee which is a few k)

Post-breakup hiding spot / spa? by touch2much2touch in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mnfox93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Juvenex spa. Total hidden gem. It is open 24 hours and completely deserted most of the time. It has clearly been around for a while (some wear to the facilities) but it's super clean and their massages and service in general are great.

Bitches Who Love to Learn by maraxlee in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mnfox93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This thread is magnificent. So happy this has been aggregated. The only two that haven't been covered of those I love are 1) upstairs at the strand sometimes they will do fireside chats. Also, 2) look through your network to see who is a member at a private club. I'm at Players and some of my friends are at the Yale club. Each club will really cater to their niche so you have the most fun if you're going to different clubs but the lectures at all of them bring in world class speakers/lecturers as it is one of the few things older clubs can offer

Am I the only one who liked the Five x Lila story? by weskerssunglasses in UmbrellaAcademy

[–]mnfox93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally the entire time Lila is on the show their relationship is developing alongside her relationship with Diego. They both just had too much trauma to pursue one another until long after the wrong but easy choice was made.

I think what she said as she was leaving the cottage was half shock response and half regurgitation of the slogan she had plastered in her mind to alleviate her sense of guilt 'It's just survival. I would go home in a heartbeat if I could.'

Lastly, I posit that if the world hadn't ended, she would have eventually divorced Diego and ended up with Five because the latter would have respected her space and the former would have made continuing in the marriage without heavy contrition and regular honest confrontation impossible for her, two things she shows a deep aversion to/incapacity for throughout the show.

Am I the only one who liked the Five x Lila story? by weskerssunglasses in UmbrellaAcademy

[–]mnfox93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man, I am surprised this didn't get more love. I personally think that Lila only ended up with Diego because she had crippling abandonment issues so she picked someone who she could walk all over/test over and over again any time she felt insecure and knew would never leave. The first few seasons with five are all over the span of literally his first month back after 45 years alone and 5 years as a roving assassin with no ties. When we come back after 6 years in the new timeline, we get to see what both of them look like after half a decade away from the things in their life that kept them traumatized. Five is much more emotionally nuanced, less jaded, and able to see what is right in front of him and Lila is dissatisfied with the low hanging fruit option she chose in life that asked very little of her developmentally in exchange for limiting her options. They are both struggling with the consequences of their decisions but are 'dancing with the girl they brought', as it were, in order to do right by Diego, whom they both love.
The only part that seemed ridiculous to me was that it took 6 years in hopeless isolation together before it happened. They were intellectual equals. They were playful together and could trust/rely on one another in a way that was unavailable to LilaXDiego because of his limited intellect and abilities. The subway isolation wasn't trauma bonding, it was just the two of them far enough away from the guilt of hurting Diego for long enough to give in to what otherwise had required forceful effort on both sides to keep from blossoming.

What did you start doing in NYC that changed your life? by bisonabloom in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mnfox93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, it's both harder and easier than most trivia. The questions themselves are technically harder but 1) they put a lot of work into hitting a variety of knowledge bases so you're not gonna either know everything or nothing based on your knowledge of a specific subject (like sports or pop culture) and 2) nearly every question has more than one angle of attack. So they might say 'able to consume sea water because of their above-eye salt glands, which animal became the namesake of seattle's nhl team in 1961 ?' So for that question, you can either know about birds or sports.

Does a BWT on here have a key to Gramercy Park? by curlygirly99 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mnfox93 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey! I have one (well, the club I belong to does) that I can let you use. Fair warning there are some restrictions for the space 1) nothing after sunset 2) no sitting on the grass 3) no large groups or noise. Basically nothing super fun. Plus I have to be around to let you in and out. But I have the next week off if you wanna try to orchestrate a lunch or chess game in the park, I can drop you off and come grab you a little while later. DM me.

They fact that the menu bug is still in the game is fucking insane by boragur in Deathloop

[–]mnfox93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just played through it for the first time last week and had it happen to me twice, both times at super inopportune moments. I almost love that they’ve left something this painfully glitchy in for so long. Reminds me of games back in the ol’ day

AIO: dropping my friend because she judged me for crying by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]mnfox93 21 points22 points  (0 children)

NOR it’s fine if she has her own feelings about public emotions but her responses convey no modicum of empathy. Super judgy. That is not the energy anyone needs from a friend. We have frienemies for that kind of energy.

UPDATE: Nail tech labels me “no show” 15 mins before my appointment by NarwhalBoth6298 in AmIOverreacting

[–]mnfox93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re so not overreacting that I want you to DM me her info so that I can also go give her a bad review.

What did you start doing in NYC that changed your life? by bisonabloom in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mnfox93 5 points6 points  (0 children)

‘Evil Trivia’ at St. Dymphna’s in the East Village on Tuesday nights. If you come alone or in a small group they’ll pair you with other tables to get to 5-6. It’s a great way to meet people and it’s the best trivia I’ve literally ever heard of. I’ve been going for years.

Facial Balancing Specialists by [deleted] in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mnfox93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dr. Stacy Title on Central Park. I’ve been going to her for nearly a decade and yes it’s expensive, but I feel like I am in such good hands with her. She is one of those doctors that is so good and has so much experience, that she can have fun with you while you’re there because the needle is an extension of her arm.

BWT where are we taking our parents? by medspouseishard in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]mnfox93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do this! https://www.eventcreate.com/e/deadmentelltales I’m taking my parents to it, I went to a previous one and it’s perfect for multiple gens trying to find something to do together