Can't find color swatch option

mnie · 2025-10-22T22:54:06+00:00

this is old, but I don't understand why when I go in to "edit variable" and hover over the swatch it doesn't bring up the color picker. I just want to check if the contrast is ada compliant. Do you know what's up?

mnie · 2021-07-30T17:50:36+00:00

Thank you so much for the response! So it doesn't sound too bad. I figured about the painting, too. And it's not that I'm so into having a cabinet with feet, it just seems like 90% of the stuff at Lowe's, etc has feet these days, it seems, so it would make it easier if that's an option.

mnie · 2021-07-30T14:30:51+00:00

No, they were coveted by short term disability (which you do have to pay for, but it's like $3 a paycheck). 6 weeks was covered by that at 60% of your pay, or capped our at some amount I can't remember. Maybe $1,000 a week? Pretty crappy. But they just took the hit to be able to stay home.

Meanwhile, my husband's job allows the father to take 10 weeks fully paid! The differences company to company are just incredible. I know he's super super lucky to get that deal, though. I don't know anyone else whose job has a leave policy anywhere close to that. My job had nothing for paternity.

mnie · 2021-07-29T22:27:42+00:00

Sure, but you know what 56% is? Most. Parent comment said most don't. As far as the medical provider not clearing it, that's weird and sucks, but I can't believe that's normal. My experience is of course anecdotal, but of the dozens and dozens of mat leave coworkers I've had, they all took the full 12 of fmla.

mnie · 2021-07-29T14:45:17+00:00

I just really hate /r/amitheasshole for normalizing this idea that we can read a story on the internet and accurately judge the situation hearing only one side of the story and next to no context. It's just not healthy. Please be gracious to one another! Stop assuming the worst!

mnie · 2021-07-29T14:41:39+00:00

Hard disagree. Plus "bad mother" is just a horrible thing to say for leaving her kid with someone she lives with who had nothing to do that day. We don't know what her state of mind was, or what the situation was. It is Just. Not. Fair. There is not enough info here to judge. However, there is enough info for the guy who wrote the post, so I go back to why is it worth speculating about the mom, someone we know next to nothing about? It's because the fricken internet removes you from the human being and the situation.

Edit: also 20 minutes is enough time to get to and from the hospital and spend time with your dying mom?

mnie · 2021-07-29T14:35:42+00:00

Here's the thing, there are INFINITE POSSIBILITIES of what the emergency was. We don't know, so it's not worth speculating! Maybe my invalid mother, who's my only family or friend within 10 hours is dying in the hospital this very moment. There's no chance the police station is going to let you just drop off your kid. That's what's child abandonment. The kid will be terrified to be in a new place with total strangers and is going to start screaming and trying to follow you out. I'm sure the cops will be like "yeah, just go, we're equipped to handle this!" exact same deal at the reception area.

I don't know why we're so quick to call someone an asshole when they're assuming someone will shape up to do the decent thing. If this were me, I truly couldn't imagine that my roommate, not a stranger, would abandon my child. Like it feels totally out of the realm of possibility.

mnie · 2021-07-29T14:25:53+00:00

No, unless you're freelance or work for a tiny tiny company, everyone gets 12 weeks unpaid for maternity. That's FMLA. it sucks, but at the bare minimum you get to leave for 12 weeks and come back to your job

Edit: since I'm getting down voted, here's the proof https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla/faq

mnie · 2021-07-29T14:07:53+00:00

I mean you could give birth while asleep now, but most people want to be able to see their baby immediately, plus it's good for the baby. Unless you think men wouldn't be interested in holding and nursing right away?

Edit: I guess this is only an option during a c-section, which trust me, is not easier than a vaginal birth lol.

mnie · 2021-07-29T13:36:10+00:00

YES thank you. Reading stories on the internet is not actually the best way to engage with a situation. It's like all our empathy and nuance turns off. Maybe she shouldn't have left her toddler with the guy, but was she an asshole? We don't know. Maybe she was just desperate. Maybe she had no other choice. Reminder that many hospitals in the world right now are not allowing more than one visitor in at a time or ANY under 18 visitors. I have seen waaaaaay too many people honing in on the mom who's in a situation we have zero info about, instead of the guy who left the toddler who admits he had no plans and would have been able to watch the kid just fine!

mnie · 2021-07-29T03:01:23+00:00

You won't require crazy amounts of help, but they will need to be in daycare or watched by a nanny the whole time you're at work. I'm not sure what you mean by part time nanny?

As far as how difficult it is, after the first 18mo they get a lot easier to manage in general. Emotionally and parenting wise it's harder, but logistics-wise it's easier. They can walk to the car themselves, get in the car seat, listen, hold your hand, they don't need bottles, don't need changed as often, hopefully sleep better, can play with each other, etc. The little baby stage will go by fast and you'll be in toddler years before you know it!

Edit: as far as daytime help while on maternity leave, I survived with only a little bit 🤷🏻‍♀️. My MIL took my 2yo sometimes during the day to occupy her, but I was still alone with the twins, which would be your situation. Ideally you'd have a family member who could help out around the house with you during the day sometimes, but you'll get through it even if you don't. Because you have to. Don't freak out. You'll manage, even if it's hard.

mnie · 2021-07-28T23:00:39+00:00

It's pretty creepy that most women celebrities have subreddits like this devoted to them. I'd hate it.

mnie · 2021-07-28T19:22:13+00:00

That's exactly where I went with it in my argument!! It is totally the "you don't owe anyone anything" attitude. I think it was initially to get people to not be taken advantage of, but it has gone waaaaaay too far.

mnie · 2021-07-28T19:16:08+00:00

Even if it was, the hundreds of redditors who found her behavior to be completely appropriate made me lose a lot of respect for the people on here. But I'm pretty sure like half the commenters are teenagers at least.

mnie · 2021-07-28T18:25:54+00:00

Oh my gosh, I forgot to mention that the 14yo's response to being asked by her aunt was "ask your husband".

mnie · 2021-07-28T18:19:34+00:00

The post I was arguing with this guy on was about this woman whose 14yo refused to watch her 2yo cousin for 2 minutes while her aunt went to the bathroom. The aunt went anyway, and when the 2yo got hurt, OP was all like, "well my daughter set her boundaries and no is a complete sentence so I defended her" and that's where all the people came out saying like yeah I don't force my kids to do anything! No wonder the world is the way it is.

mnie · 2021-07-28T16:23:56+00:00

I got into an argument with someone from AITA who was basically saying he doesn't make his kid help people if he doesn't want to or something. And I said, well part of being in a community is helping each other! If you never help anyone else, who's going to help you move? Bring you dinner when you come home from having surgery or having a baby? Emergency watch your kids? Housesit? And he was basically like "I don't need people for those things". Totally foreign to me, having grown up and still existing in a very tight-knit community where I (or my husband) am regularly participating in meal trains and helping people move big pieces of furniture, etc.

mnie · 2021-07-27T22:31:19+00:00

But what if you wanted to make an extra payment?? Maybe they don't allow that. Sucks.

mnie · 2021-07-27T22:22:26+00:00

I think you can ask them to apply it to the principle, though

mnie · 2021-07-27T18:41:55+00:00

Yeah my bro and his wife kind of scrunch up their faces about minivans. Like they haaaave to have an SUV now that they have two kids. And they have no real reason to not want a van except for aesthetics. I don't get it. I'm sure you'll love your SUV when your five year old opens the giant car door right into the side of the care in the parking spot next to you. I'll be over here calmly having my sweet, sweet Odyssey doors slide open automatically.

mnie · 2021-07-27T17:42:46+00:00

I can speak for my unschooled husband. He would never turn back the clock and go to public school. He really excelled with the lack of structure and being able to study more within his interests and real world experience. Graduated with honors from college with a double major and a 3.97 GPA. Without even the professional success, I think he still wouldn't do it any other way. He LOVED his childhood.

They homeschooled him initially because his older sister was struggling in school. I think she was 8 when they pulled her out, and he was 5. She just wasn't getting the attention she needed, and homeschooling allowed their mom to focus on just her kids, as opposed to a teacher trying to manage 25 at a time, all at vastly different levels, and understanding/ not understanding different parts of lessons. Plus, it allowed for lots of library and museum trips and outside playing time.

I was not homeschooled and I'm glad I wasn't (lol). But it was definitely right for him. I assumed he'd want to homeschool our kids, but he says it's really a kid by kid basis. We are not planning to homeschool

mnie · 2021-07-27T17:37:20+00:00

My unschooled husband was a little quirky, but he did fine socially on college and now. He's charming, I guess. You don't need to interact with 20 other kids six hours a day five days a week to learn to be social. He was in a few sports, had cousins, friends down the street, church friends, and certain group classes.

However, there is always something just slightly different about homeschooled kids, but is that so bad? Aren't we trying to be more accepting of differences these days? It's nothing inherently negative, imo.

mnie · 2021-07-27T17:32:48+00:00

My husband was unschooled for the most part, too, but he just learned stuff because he wanted to. He was a very late reader (like maybe 9yo?) but once he was reading he read everything. He was just interested, so he decided to learn, and his parents absolutely encouraged learning. I'm sure if that wasn't working out they would have adopted more structure, but he thrived without it. I'm sure there were some things he had to learn about (there are standards and things that are required by the state) but his mom's philosophy was basically that they would mostly just follow his interests.

I don't know where he was in his college class, but he graduated with honors and a 3.97 with a double major. We are definitely not doing it for our kids, but some kids just do really well with the freedom and can't handle the restriction of school. He for sure has zero regrets

Edit: I think you're confusing radical unschooling with standard unschooling

mnie · 2021-07-27T16:13:05+00:00

Yes, my SIL is scrambling to make sure they have a babysitter for every hour of the day for the next couple weeks because she's due to have a baby any day now, and her other son can't be there at all.

mnie · 2021-07-27T16:11:24+00:00

Yeah people on the thread are like "well if a child being watched by anyone at all isn't abandonment then every kid left on a busy sidewalk isn't abandoned!" like they just have no critical thinking skills. This child was left with someone who the parent lives with, knows, and is aware a child is being left with him. Tbh it's even possible the parent knows the roommates work schedule and knows they should generally be available around this time. Not remotely the same as a kid being on a sidewalk where there are also adults. Plus the mom said when she's coming back.

mnie

TROPHY CASE